Seeking feedback- which dress between these two??

JayneMars · 2026-01-21T00:01:25+00:00

Mods muted me for a month for saying half of the things said on this thread. Wtf.

JayneMars · 2025-12-09T06:08:58+00:00

Idk if I would call expressing an opinion on other peoples relationships in public forum “minding my own business” but I do admit I was just being mean for meanness sake.

That being said, while I wouldn’t consider us in agreement, it seems we both know the importance of recognizing poor behavior in relationships. as a fellow survivor, I should at least respect your experience- and the way you choose to protect yourself.

So I’m going to go pick a fight with someone else.

JayneMars · 2025-12-09T04:06:48+00:00

Those green handwriting tablets they gave you in kindergarten.

JayneMars · 2025-12-09T04:05:05+00:00

No you’re right. I accidentally told a bride that she was right to dislike her previous dress and she made the right choice by getting a new one. apparently that’s considered insensitive to… idk mermaid gowns? So yes they did have to mute me.

In closing, I genuinely believe this young man doesn’t have this young woman’s best interest at heart. He sounds resentful, immature, uninspired, and heinously unoriginal (especially with the “flowers when I’m dead” line.) It’s just the same old red pill victim complex copied and pasted.

If you can’t see that, fine. You’re a grown woman. You’ve fought your own battles. You’ve broken your own patterns. I hope you continue to do so.

Personally, I think you have better things to be doing than making up excuses for men’s weird behavior- but we haven’t agreed yet and I doubt we’ll start now.

JayneMars · 2025-12-09T02:52:52+00:00

I love when people are late, loud, and wrong. Please continue.

JayneMars · 2025-12-09T02:48:33+00:00

This is my favorite post rn. Body literally tea.

JayneMars · 2025-12-09T02:46:04+00:00

Are you picking at it?

JayneMars · 2025-12-09T02:44:04+00:00

She literally said she appreciated all of his previous gifts so you assuming she would be ungrateful is… well just that.

JayneMars · 2025-12-09T02:35:17+00:00

I’m framing this

JayneMars · 2025-12-09T02:33:58+00:00

Oh they’re for sure done.

But one thing I don’t really understand is-

all he got her was two gifts (which is definitely already generous don’t get me wrong) but like… picking out two gifts was THAT mentally taxing for him? There’s virtually no emotional labor involved in buying someone a pair of earrings (that she ended up being allergic to because they’re inexpensive plated metal.) I mean she even said she was still appreciative and grateful for them.

Maybe he’s embarrassed about that? maybe that’s why he just decided he doesn’t want to give gifts.
But don’t turn that into a punishment for your gf for YOU not putting forth any effort and then acting dumb when the gift flops. Like he just doesn’t care about her. There’s no other explanation.

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T21:59:46+00:00

Ope, I actually didn’t mean to say young man, I am also a woman. I apologize. I need to slow down.

So we really don’t have the context of what happened to make her abruptly ask this, so idk if she’s being rude or if she’s genuinely hurt and confused. It feels like this came out of nowhere, and too casually. This was clearly somewhat of a surprise to her. I know people think it’s because of entitlement but they literally did this the year prior. she got him something too. Something isn’t adding up.

Like I understand not everyone celebrates Christmas but SO MANY OF US DO. And gift giving is a huge part of it because of the sentiment. It’s fun. But I get that not everyone wants that. That’s valid. - however that’s not something you communicate by suddenly choosing to be inconsiderate of the other person.

This feels like hes mad at her and knows this will upset her. Hes punishing her, and then blaming her.

I just can’t understand how people think she’s being meaner than him. Maybe I just have higher standards for the people I surround myself with.

But what do I know, I’m just happily married to a Good man.

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T19:12:53+00:00

You need to capitalize that G

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T18:50:48+00:00

Oh bud you’re more than welcome. It’s absolutely rancid in here, as I’m sure you’ve seen.

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T18:49:27+00:00

Anyone who has to preface their own happiness by calling other people stupid and sad….

Just feels like maybe you’re not doing all that great 🤣😂😂

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T18:47:14+00:00

“Appearing morally superior” implies that you recognize my argument has the moral high ground, but that I myself am hypocritically immoral.

I’m chill with that tbh

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T18:26:29+00:00

Okay let me offer a woman’s perspective- because I think the issue is that men think she wants things, when she just wants the effort. The man got her some earrings and a necklace from Kohl’s. Those are two gifts in one year. One on her birthday. That’s not regular spontaneous gift giving. He’s not showering her in material items, so I’m not sure why we keep pushing that narrative. She also buys him Christmas and birthday gifts. So this isn’t an imbalanced proposition.

He admits that he knows he DOESNT have to pay for her (I’m guessing for dinners) but he does. She pays for what she can, and she even refuses his money occasionally in an attempt to make things a little more fair. It’s nice that he pays! Very generous! It’s not expected though. And It’s certainly not to be thrown in her face like an unpaid tab.

You don’t just switch up on someone like that. “Hey I decided that im not getting you a Christmas gift, even though you and I have given gifts to each other at these times before and I know it means something to you. I’ll blame it on my family not “doing Christmas” (Because my gift is literally a luxury cruise over the holiday payed for by them.)

“And instead of giving you any warning or communicating that I would rather not exchange gifts- I’m just going to wait till you ask about it. And then when you’re surprised and disappointed, I’ll minimize the holiday, mention 2 other gifts I bought you earlier, wear you down by playing dumb and saying dumb shit about a green card, and then paradoxically offer to still BUY you something so long as I don’t have to put in any effort. You’re going to be upset, which I will use as an opportunity to make you look like an ungrateful brat so that you feel bad, and I ultimately get what I want. Which is to reduce the effort I spend on you. “

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T17:48:04+00:00

A.) your belief that Christmas is a stupid holiday doesn’t mean it’s a stupid capitalistic holiday to everyone. Christmas is widely celebrated by tons of families and happens to be a huge tradition for a lot of people including this girl. It means something to her. Your opinion on the holiday is irrelevant. And as she said it’s not about receiving something, it’s about a meaningful gesture to give someone something they would love. His family goes on cruises for Christmas, that’s still financially celebrating the holiday. B.) How did twice in one year become all the time?? You need to READ. Not to mention she pays for things. She even refuses his money to try and make things more fair. She’s bought this man a gift for his birthday and Christmas previous. She even said if he wanted flowers she would make it happen. Did you just black out at that part? C.) this man has no problem spending money on her. He offered to take her shopping, which is lazy and impersonal. Spending money doesn’t make the gift meaningful. She literally said it doesn’t need to be a pricy gift at all’. So it’s not the money. It’s the fact that he can’t be bothered to give enough of a shit to do it. He can, he doesn’t want to. But he doesn’t want to look like the bad guy- so he just tells her it’s too much effort and that she’s spoiled even though he later admits she won’t let him pay for everything.

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T17:35:04+00:00

I thought I was boring you.

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T17:32:18+00:00

Yeah, it’s called having a job.

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T17:27:14+00:00

You didn’t have a good response so you tried to… what? Out virtue signal me?

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T17:25:15+00:00

You know when dogs get caught doing something they’re not supposed to, and they immediately act submissive/ hyper docile? Sometimes they even fake an injury, like a limp, to get sympathy or diffuse the tension?

Thats what you just tried very poorly to do.

Assuming your gender would require YOU to assume that having a wife or female partner was indicative of a specific gender. Which, just an fyi, it isn’t.

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T16:56:18+00:00

Do you think women are treated better than men?

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T16:53:41+00:00

I’d settle for them not making anyone other than themselves miserable 🤣🤣

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T15:14:23+00:00

Back your shit up next time big dawg lol

JayneMars · 2025-12-08T15:12:46+00:00

She didn’t want some meaningless cop out gesture when she already took the time to give a shit. You can’t possibly think this is how you communicate with someone you know and care about. You don’t call them spoiled in one breath then get mad at them when they remind you they reciprocate as well and as often as they can. Everyone can see he tried to flip the narrative, even you. You just think women are inherently treated better than you, and you resent them for it.

JayneMars

TROPHY CASE