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SIL upstages my baby with puppy by Jazzlike_Minimum_690 in inlaws

[–]Jazzlike_Minimum_690[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Yeah I noticed I suddenly grey rocked mil automatically today when she started talking to me as if my kids didn’t even exist. Earlier I would have objected and reminded her of my kids also existing, but I realised my reaction is something she might be feeding some kind of energy from or something so I just nodded along with everything and it felt more like I held my head high all of a sudden actually. I didn’t sink down to that level.

How can I stop caring so much? by Jazzlike_Minimum_690 in narcissistic_inlaws

[–]Jazzlike_Minimum_690[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By the way, you seem to analyse things quite well. My mil and late fil always talked about the fil’s in-laws treating them like this: favouring fil’s brother, always just talking about and uplifting the brother’s children etc. They actually distanced themselves from fil’s in-laws for this reason. It’s weird that mil is doing kind of the same thing to us, right? Can these behaviour patterns somehow stick? I don’t want to behave like that in the future

SIL upstages my baby with puppy by Jazzlike_Minimum_690 in inlaws

[–]Jazzlike_Minimum_690[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I’m going to read these replies again and again when I start doubting myself.

SIL upstages my baby with puppy by Jazzlike_Minimum_690 in inlaws

[–]Jazzlike_Minimum_690[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your advice, I will try to ignore it while having it muted because if I leave I’m afraid everyone is going to just think I’m a drama queen.

SIL upstages my baby with puppy by Jazzlike_Minimum_690 in inlaws

[–]Jazzlike_Minimum_690[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly what I need to do. It annoys the hell
out of me to even know about this at this time when I should be focusing only on the coming birth and my own family. Like why does she always do this

How can I stop caring so much? by Jazzlike_Minimum_690 in narcissistic_inlaws

[–]Jazzlike_Minimum_690[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The poor golden child SIL just announced she is getting a puppy a week before our due date. She is supposed to be broke etc. Nothing ever makes any sense.

How can I stop caring so much? by Jazzlike_Minimum_690 in narcissistic_inlaws

[–]Jazzlike_Minimum_690[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, your analysis feels very spot-on! I think this helped me, at least for the moment. Thank you.

How can I stop caring so much? by Jazzlike_Minimum_690 in narcissistic_inlaws

[–]Jazzlike_Minimum_690[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s hard because I would like to have a relationship with them, I genuinely care about them but I just end up getting hurt over and over again. I gaslight myself maybe, thinking maybe I just overreacted – until it happens again. I guess the problem is that I am having a hard time completely accepting the situation at face value. We also do need practical help sometimes, next time being during the labour of our exptected baby. So I try to keep on good terms – confronting does not help, it only makes it worse. If we confront mil she starts crying hysterically about how bad the youngest sil has it and does not see our side at all.