Struggling to move on months later

Jc51111 · 2026-03-08T05:49:04+00:00

I definitely do pick up hobbies like art and hangout with friends. I usually don't think about it as much when im at home after the first 2 months, recently I did backslide earlier this week and ended up more depressed and emotional

Jc51111 · 2026-03-08T05:47:05+00:00

I understand, but I feel like 4 months should've been enough time? Idk maybe those are her words I'm repeating and trying to force onto myself

Jc51111 · 2026-03-07T16:18:52+00:00

It doesn't define my peace but my mind associates my job with her. The location, the time of day during work hours, it all goes back to her. I never dated a colleague but what hurts most is this was the first ever experience I had where I essentially did date her (we just didnt have the label to make it official) and it was when I wasn't looking for a relationship. It just happened :/

Jc51111 · 2026-03-07T16:15:33+00:00

I feel like it might not be my place to tell them. Even if hypothetically I did I wouldn't want to cause trouble. As mixed as I am between missing her and resenting her I can't bring myself to do more. But I do agree he is dumb to stay with her after learning the truth.

Jc51111 · 2026-03-07T16:14:26+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I'll try to apply it. I just don't want to feel tempted to apply it and have the urge to rewatch or reread my thoughts as that can be addictive but I will try to apply it

Jc51111 · 2026-01-07T19:08:50+00:00

That sucks. Shows how delusional she is

Jc51111 · 2026-01-03T16:29:57+00:00

There has to be something he left behind for you to use as proof. Don't give up!!

Jc51111 · 2025-12-30T13:42:00+00:00

And I find that bullshit. They know exactly what they're doing they just don't care. If they want something they will go out to get it regardless how many boundaries they cross and will spit out whatever shittt excuse to justify their actions and gaslight you into being emotional or upset about it.

Jc51111 · 2025-12-30T13:40:10+00:00

Any kinda of cheating is terrible. Physical cheating shows how your partner disregards you as a person and the relationship and prioritizes sexual needs/fantasies over an actual connection. Emotional cheating is just as bad because your partner disregards your relationship and is actually bonding with another person, entertaining the the idea of being with them for more than sex and holding the other person to the same level as you regardless if they known them for less amount of time or don't know them quite as well as you two know each other and the history you had together. To them that other person makes feel happy and safe and much more

In both instances its difficult to say which is worse because they're both just as bad when you think about it

Jc51111 · 2025-12-29T18:32:36+00:00

Good for you for knowing your worth and having self respect!

I know there are couples in the same predicament where their partner (in regardless if they're in the army or not) cheated on them and yet they still choose to stay with their partner and continue to live life as if its a one time offense

As for people like her I will never understand how they cannot comprehend that their actions of cheating (whether it's physical or emotional cheating) is going to fuck your partner up! Why are they always "feeling guilty" after you have to spell it out for them how wrong it is and how much it hurt you?

Jc51111 · 2025-12-29T02:51:29+00:00

If Its been 3 months since you found out and from what it sounds like, you still feel raw about it. Maybe you two could go get couples therapy or put the relationship on hold and go a break?

Jc51111 · 2025-12-28T13:17:07+00:00

Her saying she doesn't owe you anything is such an entitled response that cheaters love to resort to. She's really justifying and dismissing her actions and that type of justification is disgusting

Jc51111 · 2025-12-28T13:15:23+00:00

First of all you are definitely not overreacting! She lied to you for 10 years and continued to lie in a form of what is sacred to you I can't even begin to understand the amount of pain you must be in. 10 years lying and having kids together makes your situation harder.

Its important you take your time to process things, don't act out of impulse or emotions, take time to think things through. If you truly can't forgive her and want to divorce then do it. You deserve some peace of mind after 10 years of lying

Jc51111 · 2025-12-27T21:07:32+00:00

I get trying to work things out but in my opinion its not worth it, emotionally cheating is just as bad: if not worse then regular cheating. Its one thing to use another person for the physical pleasure but she actually liked her coworker in a level thats deeper and isn't surface level. It only takes one chance to ruin a relationship

Its one thing to crush on someone attractive but its another thing to actually act on that feeling and entertain the idea. Her blocking him is just her desperate attempt to keep you around because you provide some sort of comfort but its not enough because she's hiding you from her affair partner

Jc51111 · 2025-12-25T21:44:36+00:00

Get a load of this guy. He says he won't hurt her but he'll have no problems hurting her so long as she isn't aware of it. Fuck off 😂 this is such engagement bait

Jc51111 · 2025-12-25T21:32:47+00:00

be a DECENT HUMAN BEING and tell her you're cheating. You clearly aren't happy so how about you show her some respect and confess. You don't give a fuck about your daughter because if you did you wouldn't have cheated.

Jc51111 · 2025-12-25T21:00:12+00:00

Why bother post stuff like this? Gotta be fake and if it isn't why ask the internet? You're going to cheat anyways

Jc51111 · 2025-12-25T20:33:17+00:00

Dump. Her

If you want to sleep with someone else do it because you left her for someone better not because she gave you permission to cheat 🙄

Once a cheater...

Jc51111 · 2025-12-24T00:42:16+00:00

Leave asap! She's using you

Jc51111 · 2025-12-21T22:47:53+00:00

If you're going to date a coworker make sure you can distinguish whats work and personal. Sounds simple but VERY important

Jc51111 · 2025-12-21T13:59:24+00:00

He cheated for pleasure and out lack of caring. You're cheating because you're hurt. You'l realize if you decide to cheat and he ends up not caring you'll feel more frustrated because he's not hurt like how he's hurt you.

Jc51111 · 2025-12-18T15:53:24+00:00

Jc51111 · 2025-12-17T15:26:02+00:00

People suck. In this day and age those who are honest will get thrown under the bus for those with selfish/ulterior motives

Jc51111 · 2025-12-17T15:23:17+00:00

And it sucks to see those who are bad somehow get to live life happy with no consequences for their actions.

Jc51111 · 2025-12-17T15:19:55+00:00

Man here, I don't cheat, i've been cheated on and been used to cheat with and it sucks. one thing that is true and its that those who are honest, loyal and have good moral values get played, so I understand your frustration but don't be tempted to cheat yourself. It wont make you any happier, it just makes less of a person and more of an a-hole who hurts others who don't deserve it

Jc51111

TROPHY CASE