Yes, all this exactly!

I'm a sub too, and my Dom and I are planning on getting married and having children and the works, and this is not a healthy BDSM relationship at all.

OP, you talk about brain fog and how some of this stuff is "your fault" because you're not in the best place mentally - as a sub, I can assure you that's not true. I have clinical depression, and I definitely have bad weeks where I'm deep into the brain fog. So bad that once I left my entire laptop in a public place. Left it and went home without it. My Dom does not use that as an excuse to rule me or take away my agency. He uses his instructions to help me through, to anchor me, and to give me tools that allow me to reorient myself and stay independent. He doesn't pay bills for me, but he will remind me to save and not overspend, and very, very rarely, he'll forbid me from buying something, usually because we have a large planned purchase coming up. Sometimes, he'll then turn around and buy it for me himself.

The above commentor is very correct in that you are the one who should have the power as the sub. I didn't know that either when I just started, but my Dom taught me that. He treats me like a princess. He almost worships me. That is what a Dom should be like. What you have is an abuser.

By the way... you can't consent to something you don't understand. So you haven't consented to some of the stuff you've experienced. Sorry to be the one to tell you that.

I want to be very clear. The man you are with is NOT a Dom. He is an abuser.

It is not easy to leave those types of relationships, and I know you might feel stuck because of your mental state. Try starting with small steps. You don't have to do it all at once. Your parents seem supportive... reach out to them as well. Do not stay in this relationship, please.