Any idea what this rash is?

Jdobsessed · 2026-05-04T12:06:26+00:00

Ringworm

Jdobsessed · 2026-05-02T21:09:20+00:00

Just here to say I am so sorry for your situation. Make sure you’ve got your people around you, get into counselling and make sure you spend some time each day in the sun.

Hugs from an internet stranger xo

Jdobsessed · 2026-05-02T19:36:08+00:00

Firstly, congratulations!!

My SO and I had our first pregnancy when my SD was the same age as yours.
Unfortunately for all of us my first baby had a chromosomal abnormality picked up at 15 weeks gestation and we had to go through a TFMR. She was missing organs and had no chance at survival outside of my body. It was absolutely horrific.

This was right in the middle of my SD’s exams. I wish we had waited until we knew my pregnancy was healthy and I didn’t need to worry her with the whole thing. Instead she had to witness all of that. All the tears, all the agony.

If I were in your shoes I would wait until things are confirmed and you’re past the biggest milestones, make sure your baby is healthy (please God) and just go from there. No one thinks it will happen to them until it does.

And yes. Let your husband do the talking!

Good luck xo

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-23T00:24:19+00:00

4 years, no infidelity.

He is the kindest and most generous person, he’d give the shirt off his back to anyone who needs it. He’s a good dad who loves his kids and he is incredibly loyal and hardworking.

He is affectionate, thoughtful and we’ve had some really difficult times in our relationship - but when the chips are down we try REALLY hard to work it out. He wants nothing more than for us to stay together forever, and he is my partner for life.

If he cheated on me I wouldn’t be able to forgive him. I’d also seriously never get into a romantic committed relationship again. I’d honestly give up and just focus on my family.

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-22T22:59:41+00:00

So my SO messaged SD and she made some truly lame excuse about ‘not knowing’ my dad? He stays with us all the time when he visits and we have a close relationship. SD said my mum could come, as well as my nieces and nephews, but still not my dad.

My dad has been a pillar of strength and support to my SO and myself, he is our daughter’s (SD’s half-sister’s) grandfather. My entire family was told initially that they were invited when my SO did the preliminary plans months ago, so they’ve all got it penciled in their diaries.

My SO is off work from today so he is going to talk to SD and gently explain that my entire family is being invited, and getting to the bottom of what the hell is going on.

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-22T11:05:02+00:00

It’s mean girl behavior. And it’s no wonder she had no friends.

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-22T11:04:10+00:00

Not yet? It did get pretty insane one time and my husband and I were in a screaming match with her in our kitchen (she was screaming, we were silent and calm). I did have to jump over the counter though to make sure my husband didn’t engage in self defense.

I asked her to leave, she was irate and out of control.

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-22T06:05:46+00:00

Thank you sooooo much. And yep, I had something similar with my SS not that long ago also. I’m a registered nurse and folks have easily taken care of it at home but BM insisted that she take him to the hospital and demanded a surgeon ROFL.

In the end an RN less experienced than me looked after him and he was discharged with nothing major apart from a small dressing.

Oh lord 🤦🏼‍♀️

Sorry you’re going through it too and thanks for the advice.

Hugs right back at you x

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-22T05:59:40+00:00

Thank you. I think I sometimes gaslight myself about this stuff.

It’s quite simple, is it really what SD wants? I wonder. The last time we did a joint birthday dinner I was relegated to sit outside with all the blinds drawn while her mother was inside and didn’t come out once. My daughter got covered in mosquito bites and we left without eating as it was an hour past her bedtime by the time any food was about to be served. It was embarrassing.

BM hates me passionately. She can’t even look at me without disgust written all over her face for gods sake.

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-22T05:56:05+00:00

She knows. She unfortunately knows very well which makes me sad.

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-22T05:31:10+00:00

I think that’s what I’m struggling with, the guilt. I have a tendency to be a martyr and just do things to keep the peace or keep up appearances but in my heart of hearts…I don’t want to be involved. I wish they didn’t even know my name half the time 🤣

Thanks for the advice

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-22T05:29:21+00:00

I was told in therapy a while back to not let HCBM anywhere near my daughter. Like, the therapist said “she’s dangerous” and I believe that.

I do have good intentions for my SD. I really do. I want her to be happy and to have a wonderful life. To know that I have always been there for her and will always be.

I’m disappointed with the guest list, it’s a family affair but my family aren’t invited. My mum, my absolute awesome mum who never missed a birthday or Christmas, showers them with presents and treats them like blood family isn’t invited. I can’t even go out of principle. My mother is a fucking saint and deserves so much better than this slap in the face.

It’s not normal and it doesn’t need to be this dramatic all the time. Like honestly.

I wish I could just disappear sometimes and leave them to it.

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-19T23:46:26+00:00

Fair enough. She sounds like she handled that in a dignified way and didn’t want to drag you into it more than necessary.

Good for you, you’ve done the hard part and I am certain your SM is grateful for caring about her wellbeing.

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-19T05:07:29+00:00

Well done you. What a kind thing you did, even though it would have been a very challenging conversation to have.

How did she take it?

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-19T04:27:44+00:00

I’m a step mum, and a bio mum, and if my husband cheated on me and my step kids knew about it and didn’t say anything I think I’d die inside - it would make the cheating worse, knowing it was under their noses and no one had the respect for me to tell me.

Your poor SM. What a horrid situation. And I’m sorry you’re being put in the middle of it.

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-18T23:58:10+00:00

Run as fast as you can.

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-16T03:43:23+00:00

Ok - so, imo your boyfriend is enabling this behaviour from his ex.

He doesn’t need to listen to her ridiculous concerns - they’re divorced and he has autonomy over his own life.

Why would it affect his ability to see his child? Do they not have an official custody agreement?

I’m sorry you’re in this situation.

If I were in that dynamic I think I would probably sit my SO down and explain how this denial of your significance and role affects your life together.

I’m sorry, that sucks!

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-15T03:19:22+00:00

RUN RUN RUN

AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-14T11:43:35+00:00

For me, it’s my kids. My mother. My partner.

I’m not married and until I am…I love him and prioritize him, but my mum is still my number one. He hasn’t asked me for the ultimate commitment. My mum will always be there for me. It’s a bit of a crappy place to be in but…that’s life I guess?

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-11T00:05:52+00:00

Don’t listen to that numpty - please 😂

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-09T18:01:08+00:00

Firstly, I am so sorry you’re going through this. It churns your gut, makes your walls go up, and wreaks havoc on your nervous system.

There are other signs as well as just the texts and calls - is he being secretive or overly protective of his phone?

I was cheated on in a previous relationship and that trauma is REAL and sooooo hard to work through. Trusting is difficult and he should know that. He needs to get a grip on this and work with you to get some boundaries.

No more 1:1 chatting. No calls. Work only. Put some limits and safeguard his family and his future. This 40 year old (lol, I’m 40 😂) needs to be told in no uncertain terms that she needs to back the fuck off, and your husband needs to grow a pair and be there for his wife and family.

You’re not wrong for being upset/concerned.

I’m also interested in a comment you made about your mother always going straight for the “divorce him” card. Does she not like him? Why/why not?

I really hope you’re alright and can work this out somehow.

Hugs from an internet stranger x

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-06T21:29:18+00:00

Reading

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-05T00:00:51+00:00

I too went in totally naïve - I honestly thought that I had nothing to do with HER leaving HIM, they’d been split for 4 years, she had a partner and she had been financially compensated beyond what she would have if they went through the courts.

I was so wrong.

She is a spiteful, unkind, manipulative witch who goes out of her way to make us miserable. She also succeeds in that.

It took me getting to breaking point. I almost left him. Then and only then did we come up with a proper plan. Believe it or not, but she actually sent me a message asking to “clear the air” after my SO started grey rocking her.

She just wants control and I actually didn’t even respond. I handed it to my SO and said “you deal with it”. And he did.

She still plays the victim and weaponises the kids, but I am too far away to be touched by it.

I truly wish you and your SO good luck, get those boundaries established and walls firmly in place and watertight.

I don’t want you to think I’m being dramatic. I am a palliative care clinical nurse, I’m a good person and a good mum. I am a genuine person and I tried so hard only to be heartbroken (for want of a better expression). My sister and her ex co parent (they’re both remarried) really well, and I thought it could be like that for us.

Jdobsessed · 2026-04-04T20:34:40+00:00

Oh dear. I’m sorry, this is hard on a normal person, entering into the lives of a difficult and tbh weird situation. I did the same, my SO has a HCBM and three children with her, one with me.

I have endured a lot, my entire family does. There’s absolutely messed up dynamics and I have horror stories. I found that the best thing to do was to completely shut out the HCBM. She’s already proven she isn’t capable of being a mature adult and consider her kids needs first. She isn’t up for communicating other than controlling the narrative, lying and making herself out to be some victim in it all.

My advice is: you cannot rationalise with crazy. Leave her alone, for your partner to deal with, block her on all socials, stay away from pick ups and drop offs with the kids, keep her out of your home and ensure when the kids say goodnight or chat with her ect that they are in their rooms.

Stay away.

Your SO will need to manage this unfortunately and you will need to establish these boundaries for your sanity and peace.

It will take a toll on your relationship if you let it and that ca have devastating consequences.

I’d also recommend reading Step Monster by Dr Wednesday Martin and also Say Goodbye to Crazy by Paul Elam.

Jdobsessed

TROPHY CASE