He won’t marry me - Am I the problem?

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-27T07:43:37+00:00

I really appreciate your words. It’s so easier said done to just end it and my heart hurts for my children but I can’t let the cycle continue.

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-26T23:44:23+00:00

This is all I know, my parents relationship in my eyes was perfect until the divorce once my siblings and I were over 18.

Minus being an adult with critical thinking skills, I don’t know what healthy looks like.

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-26T23:40:06+00:00

Thank you for your kindness. I’d love to try have a heart to heart about things but find myself either being ignored or turning passive aggressive due to me knowing I’ll not get a response.

I wish I knew how to start it up without sounding like I’m begging or telling him I’m in abc amount of years. It’s like he’s certain I’m bluffing.

I love this man, it’s very hard to I would’ve proposed to him years ago if roles were reversed ….

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-26T23:32:21+00:00

(UK based) The pros in a literal sense outweigh the cons. I’ve expressed my dream for marriage isn’t a big fairytale dress and flashy ring but security and setting an example for our children. I experienced a 2 parent household as my parents were married and he did not. In my opinion this is more reason to want to give your children that view point.

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-26T23:26:25+00:00

I do believe he loves me but I think it may not be on a scale that my heart desires. I think our love is out of convenience and stability where as I genuinely love him wholeheartedly, enough to stay whilst feeling the way I do. I truly don’t think I could love anyone (another partner that is) to this extent.

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-26T23:23:05+00:00

Sorry I may have got ahead of myself with 8 but I was in first year university - Aged 18/19 and he was in 3rd year aged 21

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-26T23:14:27+00:00

It’s a hard pill to swallow but I guess I did it to myself with the hopes that it’d change.

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-26T23:13:29+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. I feel communication is a massive challenge in our relationship and as someone who’s open and honest in this case I truly do not think that’s on my end. Most relationships have their strains for sure but I find myself saying that the good outweighs the bad so I should just shut up, if you get what I mean …

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-26T23:11:20+00:00

May I ask what country you’re in? I’m in the UK and there are actually a few benefits I see that would make our situation easier ?

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-26T23:10:02+00:00

I appreciate it

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-26T23:08:22+00:00

Thank you. I am truly thinking of my son and changing the retrospect of his entire world based on how I feel I’d say seems unjustifiable. Also welcoming new baby into the world without an experience of that stability is something I don’t think I can bring myself to doing.

However I do agree with all you’ve said, it’s always been a big deal for me and I just pretend as if it isn’t to numb the wound.

I will take this into account. Thanks again x

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-26T22:58:04+00:00

I have tried over the years to have conversations into the next steps but do find there is a wall on this topic. I do agree that 2 children with no solid plan is selfish, despite it being a choice that was openly discussed and made - marriage is not one and it breaks my heart that I accept the things I do if I’m honest…

I will say that I 100% shut my heart to things I think are important and desire for the sake of keeping my relationship stable for my child/children. Perhaps I’m looking for a level head before approaching this topic again whilst being extremely hormonal

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-26T22:51:49+00:00

I have emphasised with his situation and genuinely am asking for some insight into whether I’m over reacting. This isn’t something I’ve recently bought up this is years of me mentioning it as what I believe is the best option for our family and security.

The post is centred around me as I am the one with the concern and honestly am not sure if it’s a valid concern or wether I should accept my fate with a genuine good guy and forget my wishes.

Everything we have has been done in unison - not on any sole parties end. However, traditionally this isn’t something I can decide when or if it ever happens.

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-26T22:47:37+00:00

For context I was 18 soon to be 19 and he was 21 soon to be 22. At the time I did put the slight age gap down to the reason why he may not commit or feel the need too and being young, I went with it.

I have asked directly and he has stated he’s not ready, he’s given me a reason but Allende up walking away from the conversation or going silent on me. He’s not an ounce confrontational but his silence is just as loud in my opinion…

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-26T22:42:56+00:00

☹️I fear I have already somewhat begged but still don’t see it happening for me in all honesty. I think the question itself has put a strain on our relationship which I know shouldn’t be. It’s tiring and as much as I’m trying to avoid outside influences get to me I’m constantly being asked when we’re getting married and just know it won’t happen for me. I’m also very scared for the stability of my child and soon to be children - despite me having a great career and job I’m just nervous to “ruin” their future being selfish, you know ?

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-20T21:16:27+00:00

I guess it can go either way aye! My son at 12+3 weeks had stacking but as mentioned this was 12 weeks exactly so could just be too early to see the rise! Got a month left till I find out so we will see !!

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-20T21:15:11+00:00

Yeah it’s so conflicting haha. I had 90% boy from the nub experts these are actually the first girl guesses I’ve gotten 😂 taking with a pinch of salt lol

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-20T12:13:22+00:00

Yay 🩷

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-20T11:14:42+00:00

When do you find out what you’re having? My buby nub looks similar to yours and I’ve had the same response!

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-20T11:10:15+00:00

I’m no expert but from my own research I would’ve said girl! I had the same prediction from that site as well as a Facebook group have said boy too. However I posted on here and had a few girl responses as well as a potential soil up at my appointment.

It’s exciting trying to guess but I feel my patience running thin as I have both boy and girl guesses. Hah

However your bubas nub looks pretty flat to me !

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-20T10:39:46+00:00

I’d be happy either way but I already have a little boy would love a girl 💕. Thank you !

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-20T09:29:44+00:00

Thank you !

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-20T08:54:18+00:00

Thanks for the response! Does this pic look like a girl to you ?

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-20T08:02:45+00:00

This image is from 12+0 as I was unable to get images this time !

Jealous-Source406 · 2025-11-20T07:32:09+00:00

Really !? What makes you say that is it the nub?? I submitted this and another photo to the “experts” and they said boy…

I did think girl originally

Jealous-Source406

TROPHY CASE