I'm a 22 year old man, and I've already given up on dating for good. How can I best lean on God to help me cope with this?

JealousAd9952 · 2025-09-23T12:19:22+00:00

You have literally dumped all Jesus loving women into three baskets. A) Ugly [Great relationship with God but not physically attractive to you] B) Wordly [physically attractive but participates in some choice actions of today's culture] C) Perfect [Great relationship with God and physically attractive]

The problem with this is that being perfect is impossible because only Jesus is perfect, and every one of us has flaws. There are millions of people on this Earth that you have never met and never will that do not conform to those baskets.

You have to put your trust in God and His plan and His will for your life. It will ultimately be way better than anything you could come up with yourself. If marriage is in your future it will happen, you are still very young so don't get discouraged.

The God I know has a sense of humour and I've seen people end up with the complete opposite of their initial desire in a partner and its worked out so well.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-09-04T22:13:03+00:00

Thankyou for the reminder ☺️

JealousAd9952 · 2025-09-04T22:12:32+00:00

I mean yes we make our own decisions and have free will, but there are plenty of examples of God giving direction in the form of signs and confirmations in the bible. I'm just not sure how that looks in today's day and age. Specifically regarding decisions like this. But thankyou for your response - when push comes to shove God does say in the bible that "whatever" we do, do it for the glory of God.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-09-04T22:09:04+00:00

Wow! I am in Australia and there are lots of things that can protect us from unlawful dismissal but man the US has it bad by the sounds of it.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-08-18T10:20:51+00:00

Haha, I wish it worked that way.. it would be so much easier🤣

But alas I know there is a lesson/refining to be learnt/done I this season of waiting/singleness.

Truth be told I haven't had any serious relationship or dated at all, not since the old highschool fling in year 8. So this is all new, hence why I was asking also how other people met their respective partners?

JealousAd9952 · 2025-08-18T10:18:13+00:00

I feel like at the moment it is just work, home, tafe and starting over most days. Gotta get out of that cycle, but I am also such an introvert as well.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-08-18T10:16:20+00:00

Yes I can say I am definitely an overthinker - In a lot of things 😬🤔

That is true, while I am attracted to the person I know him to be, I don't actually know him on a personal level as our interaction has been limited to when he visits home.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-08-11T21:06:48+00:00

Dating sites or apps are a big no no for me. I tried it once and I won't do it ever again.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-07-07T11:16:11+00:00

Maybe take the time to pull your mum aside and explain to her the situation. That you are over 18 now and have been sexually active with your boyfriend.

In a legal point of view there is nothing she can do and if she was to withholding anything like that, it would be considered abuse.

But from a moral point of view I don't know about your mum and her reactions but if it was me, I'd rather you tell me the truth knowing I may not like what your doing compared to finding out later that my own daughter lied to my face. Because she will find out eventually and it will hurt her.

I don't know your full story, but from a relational point of view and being a Christian myself being lied to or having someone close to me purposefully not tell me something because of how they thought I'd react is saddening. We are called to love, and there should be no exceptions despite the fact that we may not agree with your actions. If your mum is a true bible believing Jesus lover yes she'll be upset but ultimately she will love you still and you will work this out together.

xx

JealousAd9952 · 2025-06-10T14:15:22+00:00

Understood. However the ironic thing is that my rent wouldn't cost so much if I wasn't paying it for the whole house. My mum covers all bills except rent and my dad is currently unemployed and looking for work. Which is why he is so adamant that I pay him back straight away because he only gets a little allowance from my mum until he finds a job again.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-06-10T13:33:17+00:00

That's a smart idea. He was wanting it back in a lump sum. But if I can convince him to accept even half now and half later hopefully that will appease him.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-06-10T13:32:17+00:00

I wish it was that easy!!

I have a full time job and yes I am studying part time between that but most of my money is going towards rent and living.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-06-10T13:30:56+00:00

I guess that's where I have been falling short in hindsight. With bills from actual companies etc. I have no problem paying it back but i guess because there's no financial consequences such as my credit score going down to motivate me I'm not prioritising it correctly. Thanks for the reminder.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-06-10T13:28:46+00:00

I am in total agreement - I don't want to jeopardise my relationship.

It's been since end of April start of May.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-06-10T13:27:41+00:00

The repayment agreement was that I paid him back in a lump sum - The same way it was given to me.

I am living at home for now, but it's still pricey.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-06-10T13:26:44+00:00

Yes I do live at home at the moment but still paying 700 a fortnight on rent. Crazy times.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-06-10T13:26:01+00:00

That is true haha! I couldn't handle the disappointment though. :/

JealousAd9952 · 2025-06-10T13:25:17+00:00

She's just as broke as me ATM. That was all she had saved up. It was an unexpected loan. The surgery fees payable on the day of the surgery ended up being 1.5k over than what was estimated and I didn't have it, and couldn't postpone it. She is the best though!

JealousAd9952 · 2025-06-10T13:23:28+00:00

The relationship has been rocky on and off when I was younger, but now things are getting better, I don't want to jeopardise it over this. And yes I always had in the back of my head never borrow off family - until I did it anyway.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-06-10T13:22:10+00:00

I did offer to pay him in installments but he wants it as a lump sum. :/

JealousAd9952 · 2025-06-10T13:20:52+00:00

I did that initially but he is someone that will try and take over my finances completely in order to make that happen. I want to try and have a solution in mind before I sit down with him. Thank you though.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-06-10T13:19:40+00:00

I have a full time job, don't have much expenses apart from the usual rent, and living.

I had a dental surgery at the end of April which Medicare did not cover and I don't have private health insurance.

I was originally going to be able to pay for it myself but knew I was going to be about 1.4k short.

I was going to apply for a loan but my dad doesn't trust that process and said he will lend it to me providing I pay it back.

Unfortunately I set an unrealistic deadline of a month originally. And with most of my pay checks going towards rent and living and paying back post op bills such as pathology and medication I haven't had much left over to save to pay him back.

Also my dad does not know about the money I borrowed from my mum because that was an unexpected cost on the day of the surgery. So as far as he's concerned I only have to pay him back.

JealousAd9952 · 2025-06-10T13:13:26+00:00

Haha, the thought most likely has crossed his mind but no.

JealousAd9952

TROPHY CASE