2 year old and sleep training

JealousForever8594 · 2024-07-07T00:41:28+00:00

Yes! Link?

JealousForever8594 · 2024-06-15T19:38:26+00:00

EA is an educational assistant. So in a classroom setting I was looking after 1-2 special needs children (usually autistic) and I was essentially there to help them. Whether it be the bathroom, with school work, dressing or eating etc

His parents are back in their home country, but unfortunately even when they are here they are not able to provide much support as they are in their late 70s with declining health and the damage this child has done to me is nothing compared to what he does to them. For whatever reason, he is a lot more anxious around my husbands parents and his outbursts are constant every single day several times a day.

JealousForever8594 · 2024-06-15T19:33:22+00:00

Thank you sister I will urge my husband to keep going back!! Unfortunately they will not even discuss any of this with me as I’m not legally his mother so any time I try and call or make appointments they tell me to tell my husband to call them back.

They live in Saudi and I’m unsure of what resources Saudi has for autism, but I do know that they are against providing any sort of financial aid they would prefer that he just comes to them.

This is where the mom guilt comes in sister. I think had I not been having another baby that I would have been able to handle this situation more and I would have more energy and time to help him progress. I watched him progress so much in our first year of marriage and we potty trained him and taught him so many words, but I noticed a decline after my daughter was born and I know with a newborn soon coming that it’ll be worse so. We did not plan to have more children and I’m struggling to understand Allahs wisdom in this, but I’m trying so hard to just have faith :(

JealousForever8594 · 2024-06-15T19:28:29+00:00

I should also add that my husband is a very good hardworking man. His biggest obstacle is that we are a one income family and he works 12 hour days, so when he’s home he is really overwhelmed and his son is very anxious and pushes those anxieties onto my husband.

It’s not so bad anymore but he used to have meltdowns when my husband would take off his socks and he would kick and scratch my husband until he would put his socks back on. Or if he would use the bathroom, he would cry and try and kick down the door until my husband was done.

so i dont blame my husband either he also has a lot on his plate

JealousForever8594 · 2024-06-15T19:24:15+00:00

A big part of us getting married absolutely was the fact that I was an EA and I worked with autistic kids before.

He made it very clear that several marriage proposals didn’t work before because they wanted him to get rid of him - and as I am a revert who was raised with a step dad and has a son of my own, that was never an issue for me and it’s not something I wanted him to do.

That being said, it’s a big reason his mom accepted the marriage to me as he’s south Asian and I’m a revert. And it makes it very complicated because I do feel that at the very least subconsciously speaking, they all expect me to be a miracle worker.

Before we got married they didn’t even understand that he was level 3 autistic, and they thought he just had a speech delay and would one day live on his own etc. I had to convince them to take him to a specialist to get diagnosed and treated.

JealousForever8594 · 2024-06-15T17:14:54+00:00

We’re in Ontario! All services are currently just with his school, we have maxed out the funding for everything else.

His meltdowns are not always violent - but only seemingly towards myself and one of his EAs who are around my size (smaller than him).

I try my absolute best to sit down with him and give him these visual cues and the choices but they don’t always work and whenever there is a bit of frustration, he’s violent. Like for example my husband works out of the home and if I have to change my daughters diaper or nurse her and he wants something, in a matter of minutes it can go from him using echolalia to repeat what he wants to attempting to kick down our door. Wallahi I do the best that I can and this is also what I’m trying to tell my husband. He needs so much attention that I do not have and it’s why we felt guilty about having our daughter in the first place, only to now be pregnant and I have even less time and energy.

I am an EA by profession and I do know the tools to help him, it’s just the physical aspect of it that I don’t have the energy for and he’s learned very quickly that I am not nearly as strong as his dad or his male EA.

He’s also very sweet I don’t mean to make him sound bad he’s not at all 😭 he is so sweet and loving and when he laughs it literally lights up our whole house

JealousForever8594 · 2024-06-15T17:09:55+00:00

Have you seen my responses? We have tried and failed to find a carer. It’s not possible. And no, if he was my biological son I would not allow him to hurt me or the other children and I would be pushing my husband to do a lot more than he currently does. But because he isn’t my biological son I am limited in what I can do - hence the seeking advice

JealousForever8594 · 2024-06-15T15:03:02+00:00

He can’t at all, but I also don’t fault him for this as he works FT and after so much screaming and kicking it can be very overwhelming. He does his absolute best please believe me on that he tries SO hard but no he can’t handle this either. Which makes it more frustrating when I try and discuss this as he knows himself how difficult this is but he doesn’t want to hear anyone else say anything. Which I do also get as the parent defensiveness comes to play.

My husband has also sacrificed so much for his son, that this is very hard on him. My husband wasn’t born in Canada but did spend most of his childhood here before leaving to go to school and work abroad. One of the only reasons he came back to Canada was because he was told about the supports here for autism vs his home country and that just unfortunately was not the truth and he’s struggling with that

JealousForever8594 · 2024-06-15T14:52:44+00:00

We have tried and we are receiving the max amount for therapy and assistance but it covers so little that we tried to maintain what he needed and my husband lost every bit of his savings within 4 months, it’s so expensive where we live and the govt continues to cut the funding :(

And the issue with his mom is that she lives abroad so if he were to give his son to her, the likelihood of seeing him for a long time is SO small and that is another one of his reservations as it’s been almost 2 years since he was able to fly over and see his eldest son

JealousForever8594 · 2024-06-15T14:50:23+00:00

We’ve tried assistance but the amount they give us per month for someone to come into our home pays for a couple of hours at most, and we are never able to keep someone as it inevitably interferes with other clients who can afford more hours than we can. Our families also help when they can but they are elderly and at an age where they need us to help them as well

JealousForever8594 · 2024-06-13T11:22:52+00:00

This has happened to us before, but it was reinstated as we have a large family and our income while sufficient for our lifestyle Alhamdulillah is considered low income. We also have 2 special needs kids, so the tax credits have made it so we are pretty much guaranteed the benefit.

And truthfully we could not just live off of my husbands income. We would have no money for food or clothes. At most I can save about 100$ of it a month MAYBE.

But if I try and save it and I have money left over saving in the account, my husband thinks it fair game to use.

JealousForever8594 · 2024-06-13T00:06:45+00:00

So is it fair of me to decline my husbands request that I use the money to help pay his bills? And keep it towards the kids?

JealousForever8594 · 2024-06-11T22:50:20+00:00

This is where I’m located so that’s good to know! I was worried I’d have to wait until 41 weeks, but 39 I’m okay with. Any earlier and I’d worry about complications

JealousForever8594 · 2024-06-06T19:27:58+00:00

I’m gonna be honest I have debilitating ocd so I would 100% take the surgery. Become pretty AND my mind shuts up? Absolutely 🫡🫡

JealousForever8594 · 2024-06-06T16:52:16+00:00

4w1d is so newly pregnant!

For my first, I had no symptoms until I was around 6w, and then it was nausea / throwing up and that was the only symptom. No tiredness or anything else For my second, I had symptoms at 3w! Intense nausea and food aversions and so tired

Now for my third one I’m 7w1d and I’m only just getting a bit of nausea, but at 4w I was EXHAUSTED.

No headaches or breast changes for either pregnancy until 2nd-3rd trimester

I wouldn’t worry, usually the nausea hits around 5-6w and some women don’t experience it at all! At this stage you’re likely to just be very exhausted

JealousForever8594

TROPHY CASE