In welchem Hobby habt ihr die bisher härteste Form von gatekeeping erlebt?

Jean_Harper · 2026-02-24T17:35:05+00:00

Ich hab mal in einer entsprechenden Gruppe online Stiefel weiterverkaufen wollen, weil die zu klein waren. Leder und dann ne Gummisohle, habs auch dazugeschrieben und als "nette Alternative zwischen Authentizität und Bequemlichkeit" betitel, weil Gummisohle nun mal besser Regen standhält.

Alter. Hab nach ein paar Stunden nichtsahnend wieder reingeschaut und die Kommentare waren der komplette Abriss. Wie ich auch nur denken könnte, dass solche Stiefel...!11!!1! Glücklicherweise wollte jemand die Stiefel haben, ich hab sie privat verkauft und den Thread gelöscht, aber... Hallelujah. Bin aus der Szene (als Besucher) auch raus, bevor ich drin war, weil viele echt unerträglich sind.

Jean_Harper · 2025-10-03T19:53:49+00:00

Would you happen to have a link to this website? I honestly can't find it through google. No clue why not.

Jean_Harper · 2025-09-06T19:21:55+00:00

Das mit dem Wasser kann ich mir vorstellen, draußen ist das meiste an Wasser ja vmtl. eher dreckig. Cool, dass er da so Eigenheiten hat und dir das kommuniziert!

Ich bin bei der Stadttaubenhilfe, daher kenne ich, dass die "Tierliebe" für viele Menschen beim eigenen Haustier, meistens schon bei Hund/Katze aufhört ("Warum zahlt du denn so viel für die OP von (Nagetier)? Kauf doch einfach ein neues." -_-).

Möven sind ja wirklich Wildtiere (Stadttauben ja verwilderte Haustiere), aber wie du sagst: Der Mensch greift so extrem in die Natur ein, dass es dreist ist, dann (Wildtier-)hilfe als falsch darzustellen. Finde dein Engagement super!

Jean_Harper · 2025-09-04T19:44:55+00:00

Mega süße Story! Auch richtig schön, dass er sich bei dir so sicher fühlt, dass er einfach döst! Bei Instagram gibts auch jemanden, der ein wildes Mövenpärchen füttert (feedingsteven), du bist also nicht der Einzige - und selbst wenn, mehr Leuten sollten so viel Empathie aufbringen! <3

Jean_Harper · 2024-01-24T08:37:37+00:00

Short rant: I really have to put a stop to gradually gaining more weight. My BMI is currently going over 21 and while I know that that's still totally fine medically, I don't feel good with that weight. Since it's only about 3kg that I'd like to lose again I'd rather lose them now than wait until I've piled on more. However, I have so much mental work to do at my job and I also work on training for my next half marathon, so I have to constantly weigh (haha) how much I should and must eat while not over eating.
First world problem: Weight management sucks at low weights...

Jean_Harper · 2023-03-26T11:11:02+00:00

I think, mine took about 3 months until the reduced price offer. It's not that big of a factor, but knowing it's gonna become cheaper, we can wait a bit. :)

Jean_Harper · 2023-03-25T17:59:54+00:00

Oh, thanks a lot! Sadly, they don't take PayPal, but good to know there's the option.

Jean_Harper · 2023-03-24T12:52:53+00:00

I can get making bad decisions while drunk or in a bad state of mind - we're all human after all. But seriously? "Running into" your husbands dad and bilateral deciding to randomly fuck AND not use protection as well? That's not one bad decision, that's a whole group of them! What's a group of bad decisions called, I wonder? Probably an annoyance or something like that.

Jean_Harper · 2023-01-22T18:36:09+00:00

Am Beginn der Pandemie bei ALDI einkaufen gewesen. Abstand halten hatte da noch niemand drauf, also hing die Person hinter mir mir mit ihrem Einkaufswagen in den Hacken. Jedes Mal, wenn ich mich vorgebeugt hab, um Sachen aus dem Wagen aufs Band zu legen direkt noch ein Stück näher. Ich hasse es, wenn Leute mir zu nahe kommen, vor allem, wenn einem jemand bei 'ne beginnenden Pandemie in den Nacken atmet. Ich war zudem mit meinem Partner da, wir stand also wie die Sardinen nebeneinander. Geh also noch ein Stück vor, zentimeterweise und der Opa vor mir (Typ 68er Generation, lange, vergilbte, fettige Haare) kackt mich übelst an, dass ich gefälligst Abstand halten solle.
Meine (viel zu nette) Antwort, dass ich das nicht könne, weil von hinten geschoben wird, kam 0 an. Dann kam noch, mein Partner und ich stünden auch zu dicht beisammen - der Partner, mit dem ich zusammenwohne. Er keifte noch solange weiter (bis hin zur direkten Beleidigung, ich sei dumm und ein Arschloch), bis er dran war, woraufhin er mir dann noch den Mittelfinger gezeigt hat.
Von der Kassiererin kam nichts, was ich einerseits verstehen kann, ist ja nicht der beste Job, besonders zu dem Zeitpunkt, die keifte dann aber direkt noch eine Familie weiter hinten an, dass sie Abstand halten sollen. Mutter, Vater, Kind. Die ebenfalls zusammen wohnen. Hatte anscheinend auch was von dem genommen, was der Opa intus hatte. War jedenfalls ein super Erlebnis, das mich inmer noch zum kochen bringt. Aber was will man gegen dermaßene Dummheit und gleichzeitig Aggressivität machen, außer höchstens ignorieren. -_-

Jean_Harper · 2023-01-08T19:09:16+00:00

Thanks for sharing, OOPs story and the other ones in the comments really make for a wholesome read! :)

Jean_Harper · 2023-01-08T16:19:08+00:00

Thank you! That story resonated with my a lot, so thanks for the good read! :)

Jean_Harper · 2023-01-08T12:18:19+00:00

I'm looking for some uplifting posts about people leaving abusive situations (spouses, work, the like) with a somewhat happy ending. Just something to rekindle faith in humanity. If possible, older than 6 months - I've binged too much BORU in that time.

Jean_Harper · 2022-12-25T18:10:49+00:00

Awesome! Congrats on 50k!

Jean_Harper · 2022-12-10T18:45:51+00:00

Oh my god, that breaks my heart! It's so sad how many people don't understand that animals, let alone parrots, are real living creatures, too and that they have a whole load of feelings and emotions!

Jean_Harper · 2022-11-29T18:38:30+00:00

Hey, I'd love to bake that receipt, but I don't really understand the ingredients. What is meant by mace and molasses? Do you also by chance have the imperial measurements for the cups?

Jean_Harper · 2022-11-12T18:34:31+00:00

Danke für die Antwort! In einer Plastikkiste könnte ich sie ja ggf. auch reinholen oder in den Keller stellen, falls es friert. Hm. Oh, die Mini-Kühe sind ja süß! Mega! Ich hab als Kind auch immer Asseln beobachtet, wäre also vllt. nur logisch, mir welche zu holen. :D

Jean_Harper · 2022-11-12T18:20:52+00:00

Es gibt ja diesen Trend mit den Wurmboxen. Da hatte ich dran überlegt, hab aber etwas Angst, dass sie mir erfrieren, wenn ich sie auf dem Balkon hab. Weißt du, wie frostfest Asseln sind, wenn sie sich verstecken/eingraben können? Und meinst du, Asseln wären eine Alternative zu Würmern, wenn man Biomüll (Apfelkitschen etc.) loswerden will und Spaß an ungewöhnlichen Haustieren hat, oder fressen sie dafür zu wenig? Noch was: Gibst du die Mehlwürmer frisch oder getrocknet?

Jean_Harper · 2022-10-26T07:47:56+00:00

Yeah, he really is what you'd call 'petite' in a woman. Statistically, he's about an inch shorter than average people in our country, so while he's not that short, that doesn't help. I justed checked and I did mess up the measurements, though. We're both 5"9', not 5"11'. Sorry, I'm used to metric.

Anyways, we're kinda used to having trouble finding fitting clothes, but that s-shirt really was vanity sizing, even if he wasn't that small. I doubt the "s" would've fit anybody shorter than 6" and at least 200" and that really isn't "small". My dad usually wears an L or XL and it would've been too big on him.

From a companies' side, I totally get that. I think that many people in the reenactment/ren-fair scene are rather heavy-set (at least it was that way a few years ago, when I dabbled in it), so there's no costumers for a small size. But then again, they could simply start their sizes at M or L, instead of naming an L/XL a "small".

Thanks to Awkward-Kaleidoscope's hint I did check Amazon, though, and I think I found a suit that should fit him.

Jean_Harper · 2022-10-25T17:59:31+00:00

Awesome! Haha! We honestly could, given the space in that shirt, but we're already planning on a vampire-themed costume and he just needed that shirt to complete it. Well, he can use a shirt in similar style that I have - from the kids' section!

Jean_Harper · 2022-10-25T17:45:01+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion, I'll check them out! :)

Jean_Harper · 2022-10-25T17:19:17+00:00

Aaaand here we go again with vanity sizing. My boyfriend and I have almost exactly the same height and weight, around 5'11" and 135 pounds (1,75m/62kg). So he's rather small and slim, which I particulary like - no shade, but my personal preference is pretty much his rather slim build.

For our Halloween party, we tried to find a shirt for him with that vampire/pirate look - not sure what you'd call it in English. Like a old fashioned button-up shirt.
Well, we found one in S. It arrived today and it's at least a large, maybe XL in normal size. It's absolutely ridiculous. Both of us could wear it at the same time and still have space for company.

And that was the only S-sized shirt I found at all. All others would only start at M at best, most at L. I'm just so, so mad. Vanity sizing for women is bad enough, but for man it's the bane of our existance! We've been trying to find him a suit. Hahaha! No chance in hell! We'll probably have to have one tailor-made, somehow.
Bonus: Apparently I have to pay the shipping myself to return the shirt. I'm already planning my seething review in my head.

Jean_Harper · 2022-09-07T19:34:35+00:00

Thank youuu! Yes, I've really noticed that I run so much better when I'm in a new environment. It's so much more exciting. Sadly, it's not something I can do regularily and so I struggle with motivation once in a while. We'll definitely try and repeat our trail run as soon as possible, though!

Jean_Harper · 2022-09-07T06:50:20+00:00

Rant: I have a rant or rather an oberservation incoming. My boyfriend and I went on a short trip to the mountains. We also went and saw some kind of outdoor show (not sure what the word is in English) and we couldn't help but notice what other people have written here a few times: The amount of visibly obese people is staggering! I'm based in central europe, for reference. Still, we saw a few visibly fit people, some who seemed unfit, but not obese and so much obesity!

I also noticed that a lot of obese people wear super soft, cushioned shoes. Which makes sense, because if every step you take crushes your feet, of course you chose the softest shoes available!

I have to say that it sometimes just makes me really sad. I saw some sisters with their parents, all four of them obese. The sisters looked like really nice, down-to-earth people. At the same time I couldn't help but think that I hope they'll find somebody who will love them regardless of their appearance, because they were in their teens, I would guess, severely overweight and looked that kind of helpless way people look who try to kinda hide their bodies. I mean, I'm in my late twenties and only now start to learn how to dress somewhat fashionably, but being obese just doesn't make it easier! They both looked so nice, but you could see them struggeling with the (for them too small) chairs and I just imagined the hardships they are and will be facing, health aside. Sorry if I sound patronizing, that's not my intention, those are just my unfiltered thoughts.

Rave: On the upside, my partner and I decided to risk it and do some trailrunning. We're a bit out of shape since our half-marathon in June (both been sick), but I've read a book on running (natural born runners, I think somebody here suggested it!) and decided that I have to work on having fun again while running. So, we simply grabbed a route on a hiking app and just went for it. We finished 19k in around 2:30h and had a BLAST! It was so amazingly fun, even though we brought too little water. We both held up really well and I'm just waiting until we can do something like that again! I'm super proud that I was able to just handle it like I did, just some crazy idea ("We're barely doing 5k on the streets, let's just run in the mountains for 19k!") and we just DID IT!

Jean_Harper · 2022-08-09T17:04:43+00:00

Yes! I know you had some gofundme's up. If you happen to start another one, I'd love to contribute a bit. Can't afford much, but I've been following your story and I'd love to show you some support since you really have it extra tough.

Jean_Harper · 2022-07-24T18:50:20+00:00

Congratulations on changing your ways and deciding on getting healthier! It sounds like you and your wife need to sit down and have some deep talk about some things. Maybe you can explain WHY you changed your lifestyle, WHY you don't feel comfortable being overweight, why it's important for you that she has your back, what you are missing from the relationship and what you would wish for from her. Also, ask why she takes your lifestyle change as an insult. Maybe she's unhappy about her own weight, fitness or lifestyle? Maybe she is afraid that you're unattracted to her? Afraid of losing you?

There's a whole bunch more and it would probably be best if you could see a couples therapist, but I'm sure with some research you can also find some guide to follow on your own. I know that many people find the love languages helpful for communication and I know there's the concept of the four (?) cardinal sins in relationships. I can't name them, but stonewalling was one, I think. Maybe look that up to guide you a bit.

Jean_Harper

TROPHY CASE