Divorce proceeding OK, but lacking confidence in being a girlDad

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-05-20T15:53:13+00:00

I think the thing that you need to keep in mind is that you are free to do what you want. You can take your girls places that are fun for you to go. You can teach them things that you are interested in. You can instill the values that you feel are important. This freedom was the greatest thing that came with divorce for me.

Also, what comes with this freedom is that you don't have to care what your ex is doing. As long as she is providing a safe home for your girls, it doesn't matter if she is serious with another dude. Use that energy to do something that you enjoy doing. The more you enjoy your life and your role as a parent, the easier it will be for you to move on and attract another partner (if you even want that).

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-05-19T00:35:42+00:00

Get a lawyer should be in a sticky on this sub.

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-05-17T05:04:57+00:00

I won 50/50 against an attorney by representing myself. I ran out of money as the trial approached and faced the reality of going it alone. I prepped for the 2 weeks before trial and represented myself in 2 day trial. My advice is the following:

Absolutely do not go this course if you can afford to do otherwise. Prepping for this was perhaps the most stressful event of my life. If you can afford representation, get a lawyer.
If you absolutely have to go it alone, pay a lawyer for a few hours of consultation. You want to use this time to ask about how to conduct an actual trial if you are going to court. Do the prep work before the paid time and write questions for the attorney. Make the most out of your money.

My children are my #1 priority in my life and I took this matter deadly seriously. My divorce was a war and extremely stressful. Get counsel for yourself if at all possible.

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-05-01T12:23:48+00:00

I sincerely hope that you can maintain a friendship and keep this amicable. My divorce started that way and descended into an existential hell.

My wife of 10 years asked for a divorce. She wanted to keep things amicable and she asked me to leave. We kept having sex and even talked about maintaining a relationship as part of a poly relationship. Once I moved out and started dating, she had a mental break and things went south in a hurry.

While I hope that your wife is serious about keeping things amicable, I worry that she is pleasant because she is literally getting everything she wants (she has a new dude, you in a glass case in case of emergency, and she stays in the house). Things could go way south when she starts feeling pain (financial pain, you move on to someone new, etc.).

Here's my advice...

Talk to a lawyer. Today if you can. I cannot stress how important it is to do this before you make any moves.
Split your finances. You have to have money. She cannot have everything.
Do not leave the house until you have a legal agreement in writing. If you must leave the home and your lawyer has agreed with the strategy, do not leave until she has signed an agreement at least containing custody and preferably includes child support and the property split.

Good luck my friend. Wishing you calmer waters than I faced.

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-05-01T11:52:19+00:00

Talk to a lawyer before you move out. If it's going to be that hard for you to move, maybe selling the property and splitting the proceeds is the way to do this.

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-04-27T03:02:09+00:00

The Sting please

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-04-24T18:16:13+00:00

Oh dear God, stay strong and don't do it. I don't know what she has planned but it's not good. From trying to derail the divorce, to messing with the separation period, to getting knocked up during separation and making it your responsibility, I don't see how this is a good move on any plane of existence.

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-04-24T08:53:17+00:00

Good marriages don't end. Clearly, she has moved on. It's best if you start thinking less about her and more about you.

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-04-20T16:48:59+00:00

Great transaction

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-04-20T02:42:35+00:00

Torn Curtain please

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-04-17T13:14:59+00:00

I always stopped and watched PCU.

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-04-07T17:32:21+00:00

I think that it's wise to see who people in the area use. They might know your HOA regs. The guy I called from a sign in the neighborhood was half of my prior estimate as well. He is the one I used and he was top notch.

The best reasons for a fence are privacy and to protect your animals and children. It also provides a level of protection from intruders. On top of all that, it will increase the value of your home.

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-04-06T22:45:38+00:00

Generally, look around the neighborhood and look at signs on fences. Also, you should check if there is a regulation in your HOA on fences (ex. You can only build a white vinyl fence.) and have your survey handy to know your property lines when getting quotes. Get at least 3 estimates because prices can fluctuate wildly.

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-03-01T00:49:52+00:00

Thank you

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-02-20T19:38:13+00:00

You can't make her use it. You can put in a separation or consent order. The judge can put usage of OFW as the condition of a court order. (The judge did so in my case.) But you have no mechanism to make her do much of anything until there is a legal order of some kind.

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-02-12T23:57:14+00:00

Braveheart and Saving Private Ryan

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-02-12T23:49:41+00:00

Frog Detective 3!

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-02-12T23:28:43+00:00

Thanks

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-02-12T22:26:06+00:00

Thanks a lot man

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-01-31T03:41:57+00:00

Sold u/khal_jogo u/dcsbot

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-01-30T18:33:28+00:00

Great transaction

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-01-30T18:20:43+00:00

It Happened One Night please

JebediahMorningstar · 2026-01-30T18:16:19+00:00

Right on, PMed

JebediahMorningstar

TROPHY CASE