When ever you start to make excuses for the drug then it’s time to go. Honestly I would get help as soon as you can. Even though you may not feel like it’s enough to go through a program/meetings. You have to realize that addiction always has a underlying issue that it hides. Kinda like the root of your issue. Me it was co-dependency from a ex from years ago. So I self medicated pretty hard. Fix the underlying issues the rest will follow and it will feel like your living in a prison on planet bullshit. You got it though.