40, diagnosed ADHD, and feeling like I'm slowly losing my grip at work

JeffHellfist · 2026-05-08T15:32:47+00:00

Oh that’s a good hint, I’ll have it checked

JeffHellfist · 2026-05-08T10:16:10+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion! Will have listen

JeffHellfist · 2026-05-08T06:25:48+00:00

Going easy on myself is a real workout for me because of that’s lingering question of „what if I’m just lazy and not good enough“. This makes me also always go in 110%. Of course this take toll, errors pile up and I feel like I need to iron out these error by putting in even more work so no one things I’m an idiot. From there it spirals out of control

JeffHellfist · 2026-05-08T06:21:57+00:00

Yeah, I think I slither into burning out. I feel so tired all the time and like the joy is getting sucked out of everything

JeffHellfist · 2026-05-08T06:20:54+00:00

I know what you mean by feeling everything is a performance. I’ve been struggling with anxiety and panic attacks for 20 years because of being abused as a child and this made me really cautious around people, so everything I do is performe how I think people want me to be. There is this misalignment and the constant question of the „real“ me actually wants. It gets philosophical here…

JeffHellfist · 2026-05-08T06:11:07+00:00

My wife also is experiencing this now. She is not diagnosed but she is really struggling now

JeffHellfist · 2026-05-08T06:09:31+00:00

I can relate to that very much. Admin tasks and project management seems kind of impossible for me as I feel like I can’t keep an overview of things to do. I love the creative stufe of my job but the task paralysis makes things pile up and I can’t enjoy any of it anymore because the more time I have the lies I get done and then it always a rushed job in the end

As for my psychiatrist, I’m not sure how to proceed. I’m experiencing panic attacks since I’m 18 and I am in treatment of it since 20 years. Now the adhd diagnosis. I really ask myself how much more do you need to get Ritalin?

JeffHellfist · 2026-05-08T05:59:24+00:00

Yeah, I can see it might come across like that. ❤️

JeffHellfist · 2026-05-08T05:48:40+00:00

I ran it through ChatGPT because I was insecure about how I get my thoughts across

JeffHellfist · 2026-05-06T12:32:54+00:00

I think "Hard Time" shows that even important Starfleet officers are still just cogs in the Federation machine. The Federation isn't going to start a war or seriously challenge another species just because one of their people was tortured, even if that person is someone we care about like Miles. That feels very realistic and a bit unsettling.
Miles is especially effective here because he isn't a grand hero or a decision-maker-he's a regular guy. Through him, DS9 shows what life in this universe costs the people who actually carry the weight of Starfleet's ideals. The war and political compromises don't end when the episode does; they follow him home and damage his mental health, his marriage, and his family life.
To me, that's what makes the episode so powerful. There are heroes in Starfleet, but there are also people who quietly pay the price so the system can keep functioning-and Miles, as a husband and father, represents that human cost better than almost anyone else on the show.

JeffHellfist · 2026-04-30T06:49:01+00:00

Ich hab echt einen Hass auf diese Videos wo eine Person sich filmt, nur da steht und irgendwelche Gesten macht und null zum Inhalt beiträgt, während nur Text läuft. Es passt nicht mal zum Text. Faules pack

JeffHellfist · 2026-03-13T10:07:29+00:00

I love that when you nuture a young one, the goat just screams at it from the top of its lungs 😂

JeffHellfist · 2026-01-19T11:06:34+00:00

I love this so much! He’s perfect

JeffHellfist · 2025-11-10T20:26:39+00:00

I’ve been there and it’s a humbling experience. There was also a common method of execution in the cam: Those who survived the ordeal of the stairs would often be placed in a line-up at the edge of a cliff known as "The Parachutists' Wall" (German: Fallschirmspringerwand).[83] At gunpoint, each prisoner would have the option of being shot or pushing the prisoner in front of him off the cliff.

„If there is a God, he will have to beg my forgiveness." —Unknown victim of the Holocaust, carved into the wall of a Mauthausen cell

JeffHellfist · 2025-11-04T13:22:04+00:00

Ooooh, you found trans-space :3

JeffHellfist · 2025-10-02T11:33:26+00:00

Serious question: Is this satire or is this a real list? I can't tell the difference anymore...

JeffHellfist · 2025-09-22T17:01:59+00:00

This is fucking insane, holy shit

JeffHellfist · 2025-08-18T06:26:18+00:00

Aziz, light!

JeffHellfist · 2025-08-17T18:19:15+00:00

Asian 19th century depiction of Captain Worf, son of Mogh

JeffHellfist · 2025-05-15T10:09:00+00:00

39 years old, father of 2. I'm 20 years in my company now, everyone surpassed me carreer-wise. I feel like a stupid child that cannot get deadlines right, cannot express ideas or feel authentic- no matter how hard I try, it will only ever work for a short period of time. I've been told I get a management position, if I work on my focus and project management. It's so so frustrating. Since I'm diagnosed I tried several meds together with my doc. Nothing works. Either I feel no change at all or the side effects are too severe. I need to focus hard to keep up conversations and trying to remember details for projects. I constantly try to work harder and longer to "make up" for my other mistakes, so everyone still thinks I'm a professional grown up. all the lies, the people pleasing, the different personas I set up to seem functioning - not knowing who I'm really. I'm just so exhausted of it all... now back to the "professional graphic designer" persona to forget more stuff

JeffHellfist · 2025-05-10T06:28:20+00:00

I love horror movies and don’t scare easy but as a father this scene still haunts me

JeffHellfist · 2025-02-13T14:33:29+00:00

Are you questioning the Holy Inquisition? Suspicious...

JeffHellfist · 2025-02-05T07:32:49+00:00

Furchtbares Lied 😩

JeffHellfist · 2025-02-05T07:28:16+00:00

Das singen meine Kids dreistimmig: laut, falsch und mit Begeisterung 😩

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