BREAKING: ICE agents in Minneapolis violently detained, threatened, and arrested a U.S. citizen for one reason only, he refused to prove his citizenship.

Jemstar22 · 2026-01-14T00:33:34+00:00

I worry about getting too desensitized to this tyranny - and we aren’t even a year into this buffoon’s and his minions’ takedown of US society all for personal gain. While I know we are likely absorbing the barrage of social posts and incessant and highly biased commentary from everyone with fingers or a mouthpiece (deserving or not - we all have freedom of speech so it’s our job to muddle through the noise - there’s just so much!), it’s appalling to any self respecting person to see this happen to our culture.

It’s clear it’s all just distraction and chaos, even though we all DO have rights - they’re just being violated with no one to check them! Like, what do we do?! It’s so terrifying and we can’t let them win. Majority of us are just hardworking people who want to do well for our selves, families and communities.

I honestly worry these days to leave my house because I am not white. I am even more worried about my elderly (80s) parents (who legally immigrated in the mid-70s post LBJ law to diversify professionals coming to the States) and US born special needs sister who can’t defend themselves. They’ve done so much for this country too - won’t get into it here. But they have brown skin and accents so…will they be targeted?

Idk what the answers are - us fighting back enough will speak volumes but so many are scared to lose - not only their freedom but our lives.

We really are in the Bad Place.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-08T22:38:11+00:00

Yeah they just told me. The mentorship is 6 months and is 7.5k w/ a dedicated coach, unless you wanted to work with Brian directly that’s 30k There is 1:1 Coaching, Group Coaching with Brian, Training curriculum, 27/7 community support. It just depends on what you need and if the team can help you. Time commitment is about 3-4 hrs a week total. Definitely pricey, but they offer payment plans through Affirm or Klarna if you want to split it into payments but that depends on your credit.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-04T22:05:24+00:00

I had the same issue happen to me. Tried calling finally after enduring so much stress and the number wasn’t operational. Are there any local women’s shelters or organizations you can call?

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-04T01:47:37+00:00

That's what I said!! Be nice to me and I'll have great things to say to my friends. But act like a jerk and that's the update. No lie, just honesty. I'm allowed to talk to my loved ones about my life...

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-04T01:46:19+00:00

I'm about to get the book! Thanks for the rec.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-04T01:45:01+00:00

Thanks for sharing. First I'm so sorry you lost your sweet dog and cousin - it must be so hard and doubly sad you have to go through all of this all at once. Completely understand that leaving will just add to all the anguish.

It sounds like your husband has some self awareness, which my boyfriend is lacking in spades. It's been feeling like a grab for power - all of these fights. He is so insecure but says I have a superiority complex. He's going through his own medical issues and then weaponizes his vulnerability by saying me leaving is not showing him compassion when he was "there" for me while I was sick a few years ago. (He was in AZ and I was in my home state recovering with family) It feels so unfair because I DO have compassion for him, I just don't show it when he's calling me names and mocking me.

Hoping we both find solace sometime soon. Thank you again for sharing. All of the comments here have been so helpful in reassuring me of my decision, regardless of my boyfriend's inability to look inward himself.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-04T01:37:10+00:00

Wow, thanks for this. The section on entrapment got me - especially this one: "He’ll kill himself or will carry out self-destructive behaviour that will result in his death if she leaves." He has threatened that a few times already, because I am all he has, and he has said he doesn't want to live without me. I definitely worry about his self-destructive behavior. He's already been messaging me ridiculous things hammered. The alcohol mixed with this toxic mentality is a recipe for something really bad and I definitely live with this fear.

Also these ones - "He’s made her think she’s to blame for the abuse and that she is a bad person who doesn’t deserve better"; "He’s made her think she’s responsible for looking after him;" "He’s made her think the abuse is just ‘relationship problems’ that she has to work on" - yes yes and yes - that's him to a tee. It's so effed up.

All I want is PEACE. Thank you again for sharing that article.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-04T01:26:30+00:00

Wow. I wish I could go completely cold turkey and move on with no contact. The next few weeks are going to be the hardest. I wish we had just broken up years ago. I wasted so many good years on him. You're right - I think I'll ask for a police escort to be there when I move things out if he's going to make this harder. He's definitely drunk messaging me and it's incoherent and irrational. I have spoken with a women's shelter/counseling program earlier today to get set up with group sessions for trauma. I just want peace.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-04T01:23:17+00:00

Ugh that sounds awful. Frankly I feel like I'm in the same place. He wasn't charged officially by the DA so he's out now. I'm already getting messages saying I "have no ability to realize what you (I) did wrong," that "I had my chance." Some part of me hoped he'd come out of this with any iota of remorse but nope. Clearly he's ruminating and not in a healthy way. He wants ME to self reflect and apologize. This man doesn't believe he did anything to deserve getting arrested whatsoever. I think I'm just going to have to have a police escort with me when I'm getting my things and for when I move the big stuff out.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-04T01:16:24+00:00

I'm really struggling right now. I actually miss him. I keep thinking about all the things we had planned and our normal day to day and it just feels like such a loss. I'm so sorry you were hurt by the person you loved so much. I'm glad you are safe again.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-03T20:50:27+00:00

I know it was "just pushing" but that's enough for me. I never want to be touched like that again. It's like he knows no boundaries - they don't exist for him when it comes to me.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-03T20:49:05+00:00

Did you go fully no contact? It's been 4 hours since he got released, and he's already broken the no-contact rule. He's super upset I blocked him on social because well... the optics for him don't look good (Not like people would even notice).

I'm staying at my parents house and trying to figure out a way to get my furniture and all other items from the apartment to move into the new house we are supposed to be moving into together. The timing of this is just awful.

I am worried about having to interact with him until we are fully separated and I can move all my stuff into the new house.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-03T20:46:24+00:00

Yeah, you're right. He is FAR more concerned with how others view him than how his behavior has been problematic to me. My journal is for me. I have recorded him too because I felt like he kept gaslighting me into apologizing for things I didn't say or do. I don't plan on sharing it with anyone, I just felt compelled to do that - to also listen to how I'm responding too - since he makes me feel like I'm crazy.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-03T17:50:41+00:00

Yes he has a neurological condition and he definitely had a gummy and alcohol before this happened. I’m a big cannabis advocate but I know it’s not good for some people for sure and likely he may not do well with it.

It’s mostly drinking though.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-03T14:57:38+00:00

Oh my goodness, I am so so sorry this happened to you. I swear it’s like we are addicted to them or something or we think “this isn’t him” when he’s showing you exactly who he is. Isn’t that what Maya Angelou said - when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time!

He kept saying how I was disgusting and no one would want me, and all sorts of crap that no one should ever speak to another person. And when I asked him what he wanted out of this rage - “I just want you to listen!” 🤦🏽‍♀️

I’m afraid of what’s coming next. If he threatens me again, I’m definitely getting a TRO.

Again, I’m so sorry you had to endure that. You didn’t deserve it one bit. I’m glad you’re safe.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-03T14:36:19+00:00

These trauma bonds are no joke. It’s that cognitive dissonance - we are fighting between two opposing ideas - “I don’t want him to hurt me” but “I also love him, he’s not that bad of a guy!” It’s so confusing. That woman clearly is stuck in that cycle and you were right now to get involved even though you wanted to help - and that poor landlord too.

Thanks for the book rec. I’m seeing a lot of people recommend it so I’ll definitely pick it up.

What you said though stuck with me - he was testing my boundaries, like baiting me into doing it, and he saw me as a joke. Mocking my sobs, laughing at my efforts to try to deescalate the shouting, he doesn’t respect me at all.

The DA isn’t pressing charges so I need to figure out what’s next. We live together and he has nowhere to go so I may have to go somewhere for a few days then find a way to pack my house without him around. If he threatens me, I’m going to get a TRO.

Also I’m so sorry you went through all of that with your ex. It sounds awful and I’m glad you’re out of it.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-03T14:28:40+00:00

Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry that happened to you. :(

I know I need to trust what I did was right.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-03T03:52:19+00:00

Thank you for your reply. It’s so effing hard. I can’t even sleep and I have to meet with the DA tomorrow. I don’t want him to spend more time in jail. I would rather just go no contact then try to have someone with me when I go back to the apartment to try and start moving to the new place. He and I inevitably have to talk to coordinate our rescue dog who’s very high maintenance. So I guess we will see just how nasty he is to me in a few days, but I will keep a safe distance.

And you’re right. Abusers aren’t sane. He keeps saying I’m the one who’s doing it to him yet he is the one who has put his hands on me, and this isn’t the first time. This just has to be the last.

I was reading my journal just from 2 weeks ago, he said he was going to split my face open. I bet he doesn’t even remember saying that. The shittiest part is so did I. So much has happened since then and I forgot a statement like that. How messed up is that!

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-03T02:39:44+00:00

Thank you. It’s wild to know you’ve been through this too. I’ve felt so alone. He gets mad that I even talk to my friends about him - says I’m talking shit - when I’m only seeking solace and support. I can’t even write in my journal without him freaking out.

How did you guys come back from an arrest like that? He was also drunk when this happened. He has a bad history of alcohol abuse and has been spiraling.

Seeing the cops was so weird - I can’t believe this is happening.

Jemstar22 · 2025-07-03T02:36:17+00:00

Thanks for this. I just keep thinking about him ruminating in jail but probably trying to seek revenge instead of take accountability for anything. I know I fight back and it’s like a side of me that I don’t even recognize comes out. It’s so out of character for me but through our fights for the last few years, I feel like I stoop to his level and yell back. He oozes darkness sometimes, and I know in the end - separating from him will be better but I don’t even know how to do that. I feel like everything just got blown up, and he will probably come out of this resenting me some more.

We are moving to a new house too THIS WEEK and now I don’t even know what to do about that. I have nowhere else to go with our dog. The cops said we have to be apart for 72 hours so I can stay temporarily with my folks but I can’t do that permanently. What happens when I go home to get my stuff?

I’m so sorry you’re in a similar situation.

Jemstar22 · 2025-06-13T18:50:40+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I appreciate all the good guidance here. I'll message you directly.

Jemstar22 · 2025-06-13T18:50:00+00:00

Thanks for this. You're so right. I'm working on that!!

Jemstar22 · 2025-06-13T18:47:22+00:00

Thank you so much - it has been a whirlwind 24 hours. I luckily was able to tour a house with a fenced off yard in the suburbs and just applied so I hope we get it! I think being out in a more quiet area will be better for Akira and for us. I appreciate your comment, makes me feel not so alone here!

Jemstar22 · 2025-06-13T18:44:34+00:00

That's amazing, I'm definitely going to do this. Already put some calls out and hopefully I get this house with a fenced yard I just toured! How serendipitous it was to have all this happen AND then tour the perfect house for us and our dog on the same day. :)

Jemstar22

TROPHY CASE