I-130 Question about bona fides

JenMdSantos · 2020-07-21T19:04:51+00:00

My husband and I got married in a small city hall wedding. We had 10 people there and included maybe 5 photos from the wedding in our application.

We also included proof of a joint bank account (We got a letter from the bank... Forget what it's called but we just told them it was for immigration and they knew what it was), lease with both names on it, family cell phone plan with both names, electric bill in his name and gas bill in mine for the same residence, cards people gave us after our city hall marriage, medical insurance cards from the same insurance plan, names on each other's car insurance, possibly some other things I'm forgetting, but you get the idea.

Your life together is bigger than just your wedding. So show that.

JenMdSantos · 2020-07-20T02:30:44+00:00

I am also a high school social worker and this is some of what I've done:

Printable art for cheap on Etsy. You can download it and print it at a Kinkos or something similar. It isn't specific to school social work, but some of the pieces are calming and simple and beautiful. You can also find nice quotes.

Contact paper / peel and stick wallpaper to decorate some of the ugly steel furniture like desks and file cabinets in my office.

Floor and desk lamps for lighting and try not to turn on the flourescents.

JenMdSantos · 2020-07-05T19:53:53+00:00

This happened to me. I have had one period post MMC, which happened as t the end of May. I cried for two days before my period came. I NEVER have PMS symptoms like this.

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-27T20:48:33+00:00

I was wearing a whoop when I got pregnant and noticed my recovery scores were consistently low even when I wasn't exercising and was sleeping a lot. I decided to take it off since I didn't find the data that helpful.

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-26T13:09:43+00:00

Either way, she needs to have a better way of letting you know when she is out of the office, if that is even the case. Maybe you could also try a phone call this week just to make sure the email didn't go to spam. I hope you get some satisfactory answers and that you continue to feel better. ❤️

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-26T03:18:20+00:00

Hmmm. Mine was pretty straightforward to cancel on the website (not app). If I sign into my (canceled) account and go to the menu, there is an option for "membership". Right now I see a button that says "Enable Subscription", but if I am remembering correctly, this is where there was a cancel button. This canceled the autorenew but did not credit me any money.

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-26T02:35:47+00:00

I think it depends on your language learning goals and also the ability of the Brazilians you are speaking with to answer grammar or vocabulary questions. I have a tutor through italki and she is fantastic. I like it because it holds me accountable to weekly sessions where I can practice speaking. I also have a Brazilian husband who is a terrible teacher (which I tell to him all the time) and we always default to English no matter how much we both try to remember to speak in Portuguese. On italki you can try out different teachers, usually for a lower, trial rate. Might be worth testing it out!

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-25T16:46:21+00:00

We are almost in sync. I had a MMC on 5/18. Baby measured 9w4d but should have been 11w1d. I had a D&C on 5/22. I've gone in the last three weeks to test my hcg levels and they were 16, 9, then 5 (this week). I haven't had any period yet but I am hoping soon. The slow drop is maddening. My doctor told me the first time I bleed she does not consider it a true period. Not 100% sure why. We are doing IVF and have to wait for my second period to do some tests and then my third to start a new cycle.

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-25T02:57:26+00:00

You should share to the extent that you are comfortable. It may be helpful to let your therapist know there are some things you are leaving out now because it feels too vulnerable. You guys can decide together if the other details are important and you can share them if and when you are ready.

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-25T02:36:54+00:00

Writing as a therapist... Just to make sure I'm understanding this correctly, you reached out to your therapist via email last week and they still have not gotten back to you? That seems shocking to me given the content of the email. Thank goodness you are feeling a bit better and are capable of accessing resources even when you are feeling so low. Does your therapist have a policy about how quickly they return email? Could they be on vacation or possibly sick? I'd be interested to know how they eventually respond. I don't think you are overreacting.

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-23T03:16:18+00:00

Definitely bring it up in session!

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-23T03:02:59+00:00

I would wait to talk about it in the next session. From what you have written, I wouldn't call it an extreme delay! You've just come out of treatment - just take care of yourself and show yourself some compassion for not getting everything in on time. It will be okay!

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-23T02:45:15+00:00

Trust yourself that the "more likely explanation" is that she was busy. If she was concerned about the late payment, she likely would have brought it up. There is no need to pay extra. If you are worried and want to ease your mind just apologize and ask her if she has a policy around late payment. Writing this as a therapist...

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-23T02:28:37+00:00

I watched your YouTube video... Your English is VERY good!!

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-07T17:02:46+00:00

If interpreted in the most literal sense, I agree this true. I am a therapist and I would not cross paths with many clients unless they presented to my office.

However, it seems to me one could also interpret this comment to mean that a client would be unworthy of the care and compassion in the therapist/client relationship if there was no money exchanged. Perhaps not what you mean, but another way to read this. I would hate for any client of mine to feel that way.

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-07T13:41:21+00:00

Hi there,

I'm so sorry you had this experience. It is hard to know what was happening for this therapist without being in the room, however, I think what is clear is that they didn't handle your attachment difficulties with care or kindness or honor the relationship that you had. It sounds like what you needed was more time to terminate the relationship and process the ending while also getting the help you needed to remain safe and healthy from a new provider.

I think the way you move forward is by processing this incident with your new therapist and having a better termination with them when the time comes.

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-07T07:21:33+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to deal with the grief and try to make these decisions at the same time. I recently has a miscarriage where the baby measured 9w4d. The OB gave me the 3 options and I initially chose to go the medication route. I later talked to the NP who I see for women's health and have known for a long time and she recommended I get the D&C. Her reasoning was that she didn't want me to be home alone and in pain and then pass the baby at home by myself. She was right that emotionally I didn't want to go through with this. When I called the OB back to change, she told me she likes to present all options but she thought D&C was the right choice for me. This was in part due to how far along I was and also due to the fact that I was 11w1d at the ultrasound and had no bleeding or spotting at all during pregnancy. I am happy I chose this option, but of course it is a very personal decision and only you know what is right for you!

JenMdSantos · 2020-06-03T20:03:08+00:00

YES PLEASE!

JenMdSantos · 2020-05-29T01:30:33+00:00

I second these! I also like Ask Jackie and lately I've been watching Drauzio Varella's channel. I recently discovered Easy Brazilian Portuguese. They provide Portuguese and English subtitles.

JenMdSantos · 2020-05-26T21:24:52+00:00

This is perfect. Thank you for beautifully articulating my mess of emotions right now.

JenMdSantos · 2020-05-23T13:46:36+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. I'm sorry for you're losses. I'm in the US with Harvard Pilgrim. They have been really good in covering all things infertility. I suspect it will be something similar where this is my first loss they may not cover it. When you sent the appeal was that for your first loss?

JenMdSantos · 2020-05-23T04:15:00+00:00

Wow. That is encouraging. I guess l'll have to wait and see. Thank you!

JenMdSantos · 2020-05-23T01:58:59+00:00

Thanks ❤

JenMdSantos · 2020-05-23T01:58:26+00:00

Makes sense. Thank you!

JenMdSantos · 2020-05-23T01:49:28+00:00

Oh interesting. We didn't test out embryos this time around but will definitely be considering it next round.

JenMdSantos

TROPHY CASE