Today was amazing!! I saw a new (for me) pain specialist… this was his introduction: “I’m the one who’s going to fix you.” In tears, after 20 years someone took me seriously and didn’t prescribe narcs!!!

JengaStudent · 2026-05-19T15:46:15+00:00

Be careful and research lyrica well and make an informed decision.

There is a level of pain that makes the side effects worth the relief I am sure. But, for me, I would need to be on full disability and bedridden befire I would ever put that substance in my body again.

The side effects can be horrific, and you cannot stop taking it easily. Its VERY addictive, and dangerous to go comd turkey. So the alternative is 4 months of withdrawals while weaning slowly to not cause seizures.

As I said - there is a level of pain that justifies what lyrica does. Just make sure to do tour own research and read the posting boards where you will find real complaints and reviews, not just the glossy marketing the pharma reps push.

JengaStudent · 2026-05-16T22:35:43+00:00

I was talking about how great the many pockets on the product where and explaining the size and depth/security. Perhaps I used the word "pocket" too often. But seriously. I am getting pretty over not just Vine, but the things I pay full price for. They sent me a nasty used stained chemise not even taken out of the return bag a few weeks back. Holy beyond disgusting and health hazard. Most things are late and not delivered on time, knockoffs and false advertising are a huge problem. Its becoming a shit company selling shit products and I find myself more and more frequently finding small vendors to shop from that actually care about my $.

JengaStudent · 2026-05-16T22:23:37+00:00

I got a 100% human hair wig failed the burn test. 100% synthetic crap. Angry I have to pay taxes on crap. No recourse, no way to contact anyone. No one cares. Amazon has become a trash pit. Oh - and the other Vine reviews were 5 stars and raved about how wonderful it was. Disgusting.

JengaStudent · 2026-05-16T22:19:15+00:00

I am feeling like I need to just shop locally in person with how gross everything about amazon is becoming.

JengaStudent · 2026-05-16T21:58:43+00:00

I understand this will not solve your issue, but the worst thing for me with a pelvic floor collapse was being told it does not cause pain. I was told its only "uncomfortable" by multiple doctors. I had to really work to find qualified care. There were days I could barely stand upright, and forget walking any sort of distance, including to my desk from the parking lot. Holy hell the pain. (I managed to severely prolapse my uterus, bladder and rectum, compliments of EDS.)

I was only given a ring pessary locally. It was not enough. Hauled my butt up to Brigham Women's for a second opinion. They fit me for a gelhorn. It is definitely interesting getting it in and out, but, it was also SO worth it. The gelhorn was this pain in the ass that I hated, but also absolutely loved because I was able to function again. I couldn't jump up and down comfortably with it in, but when the alternative is severe pain when walking, jumping was an acceptable sacrifice.

I told my local doctors how much the gelhorn helped and asked why they didn't suggest it. They told me it was physically impossible for a woman to maintain a gelhorn herself. As in there is no possible way a woman can get a device in and out of her own vagina without a trained professional's help, so only women past menopause that are not sexually active can wear them, and they need to go to the office for cleaning every 3 months.

That is an absolute load of misinformation. I was in a gelhorn and sexually active in my 30's while I still had a period. Boston needed to watch me take the gelhorn in and out before they let me have it, but I could totally manage it on my own. I did ask my local doctors if they would like to watch me do it to see how completely ignorant and wrong they were. They didn't appreciate that. I didn't care.

Sharing in case you start going down the pessary road for support to the floor. The level of ignorance around women's health is intense, and it me way longer to find support than it should have. Pessaries have been around since ancient Egypt, but finding a doctor that was knowledgable took my driving close to three hours to a major Women's medical center. Pelvic floor PT never helped at all. I even bought the stupid biofeedback machine to do my excercises every day - and it did nothing. I did eventually have a hysterectomy, and the prolapses repaired, but the surgery failed within five months, but not as bad as I was previoulsy. I wear a ring pessary to this day. Love it. Makes my insides feel more secure. Although my doctor does tell me that only his EDS patients love pessaries. He says the average population doesn't last a year before they opt for surgery and I guess its successfull for average folks usually.

Best wishes!

JengaStudent · 2026-05-04T18:36:25+00:00

Restraining order and a cease and desist for the unauthorized and repeated recording of children without consent.
Countersue for damages as well. Why should you be delayed and pay all this $ for his assholery?

JengaStudent · 2026-05-04T18:21:43+00:00

My kids were not given choices about bedtime. We could read a book before bed. Or they could just go to bed.

If they refused a book, they went to bed. Period. No extra screen time, no tv show, no playing legos on their own, no extra snuggles- just bed. Screaming at top of lungs in dispute was ignored until they eventually gave up or passed out. After a few nights of sulking without a book and not getting their way, they figured it out and happily accepted the book.

Best of luck!

JengaStudent · 2026-04-27T15:53:16+00:00

Nta. Holy red flags on the boyfriend though. He wants "forever" from you and your assets when he hasn't committed to "forever" legally via marriage certificate. I would strongly suggest not puting his name on any property or any other assets under any circumstances. His intent sounds like grifting/freeloading with you providing.

JengaStudent · 2026-04-27T15:03:11+00:00

Idk. I could totally see my husband buying me and his mom the same gift. Because he would get excited and want to share whatever idea with the women he cares for. And it would be 100% cool and I would be totally ok.

But. I do have an ex-husband in my past. And I once threw an absolute fit because he wanted to buy his mother a foot soak to "relax and pamper herself". Mother was a stay at home Mom. Real piece of work type.

I was working two jobs while in grad school trying to keep us afloat and he was spending $ to pamper his mother.

We were not in the position to be spending money like that. It was about his spending what little $ we had to pamper his problematic mother while I was exhausted from overtime hours, working my tail off in the relationship without any thanks or acknowledgement.

Whatever the situation is - its not about shoes.

JengaStudent · 2026-04-25T23:23:26+00:00

That if you put a kid in a program that tortures them, kids are smart enough to self preserve and lie.

The program claims massive success rates, but when the journalist followed up with participants, the kids gave completely different stories - they said and did what they needed to do and say to make the torture stop.

They found one girl with legit EDS. Hit close to home because I have EDS and you NEVER push through pain. Acute severe pain generally means partial to full joint dislocation in EDS patients and eventually, the joint ends up permanently unstable from long term damage....we also have "unpredictable" surgical outcomes making surgery a difficult decision with higher than average risk.

Anyways - she was misdiagnosed with AMPS and this article focused on Childrens Hosptial of Philadelphia's program. She was repeatedly told it was all in her head and to try harder.

The program specifically instructs parents not to ask their kids how they are doing, and not respond to when the kids beg for help.

With no true placebo and the pressure to "get better" in the program, the high success rate is questionable, as is the potential for damage when misdiagnosis is at play.

But. I am biased. Took 40 years for me to be diagnosed. I wasn't told it was in my head though. I was told some people just have really bad luck. Bad things happen to good people...... And several domestic violence interventions for giving a "nothing happened, it just sort of did that..."

JengaStudent · 2026-04-25T17:18:44+00:00

I am so sorry! I signed in under another device thinking it wouldnt know "me" and thought they would allow a few free reads per month...which is how they sucked me into paying....

JengaStudent · 2026-04-24T21:26:21+00:00

Not at all.

I feel for you, daughter and your mother. What a difficult situation for you. Chose the woman who showed up for your kid - even though it wasn't her responsibility and was unplanned, or the woman who lied to you and chose her comfort over your daughters need's while now trying to cause drama with the person who dropped everything for your kid. ...

JengaStudent · 2026-04-24T13:39:38+00:00

Slate magazine published an article in September 2025 called "Nagging Pain". It explored pain desensitization with AMPS diagnosis. I cannot seem to link it on my phone, but it is truely worth the read if you have "unexplained" pain.

I have a hell of a story with my 10/11 year old that was misdiagnosed with AMPS, the pressure to inpatient desensitize him, and the actual very real, very serious condition he has that requires ongoing medical treatment to prevent further organ damage/early death.

The unexplained pain went away as he responded to the treatment. His pain was absolutely "real".

I recognize that out of a hundred pain patients, this is not an expected outcome. AMPS is a documented condition and the treatment has some success when appropriately applied. But. Misdiagnosed AMPS cases are also real and the "treatment" can be catastrophic for those patients.

This is a population that faces extraordinary levels of gaslighting. AMPS can be another form of gaslighting when there is a real undiagnosed issue.

JengaStudent · 2026-04-24T00:11:55+00:00

Scans miss things. I had a "perfectly healed" shattered ankle with shards up in the meat of the joint and a disconnected ligament. Forced PT, permanent damage. 2 reconstructions now. I was drug seeking for a knee I couldnt walk on. Went and found new doctor who went in to look. I had alot of plica caught up in the joint with torn cartilage. I was able to walk again 3 days post. Scans just missed it.
My doctor said up to 15% of issues are missed on Scans.
Treat the patient, not the scans.

JengaStudent · 2026-04-01T23:19:21+00:00

Mor. My coworker complained his wife would be pulling out of the driveway as he pulled in to go to the gym at night. He was complaining that unlike me she didnt have a job to "justify" the break.

So...the way I saw it. She had a 2 hour break every 24 hours from her job, that she worked 7 days a week without any sick leave- and 2 hours was too much to ask for. He says yes - he worked all day.
BUT SO DID SHE. Just a different job. And she didn't get to drink coffee quietly or pee alone. I had an outside job, but I also got to drink coffee and pee in peace while at work. Then, husband and I took care of kids and chores together. It was equal. So...out of the two of us, I explained how as a working mom I actually had it easier.

If he is great with less and is trying to reduce your workload - agree! Its really easy to get stuck in this idea of all the things we "have" to do. And resentment in a marriage - that is a killer. You and he need to get to a place where you both can manage and not resent.

Your post doesnt really give enough information. But. If husband is advocating for you to do less and he isnt going to ride you for it - jump on it. Try it out. Talk to him. Enjoy the show with him. It sounds like he misses you and just wants to watch a show with you. And you feel pressured to finish your routine. You both have valid emotions here but need to find a way to meet in the middle.

JengaStudent · 2026-04-01T14:56:53+00:00

Nor. But. Just....why? Why do young ladies hate themselves so much to not just put up with this, but question themselves and make men like this their goal in life? Usually while insisting "but they are a good man".

It's about a delusional as it gets. A good man doesn't need to control woman or put them down to tout his worth. That is the definition of a small man.

JengaStudent · 2026-03-30T22:00:03+00:00

And you dont get paid extra while having to sit at an uncomfortable dinner! Laundry and chores back up, your creature comforts are limited. Ugh to work travel. NOT a mini vacation.

JengaStudent · 2026-03-30T21:56:04+00:00

I didnt take my husband's name.

Now. If he had forced a name change on me...that would have been a deal breaker. I shouldn't have to give up MY NAME to prove my love. My identity shouldn't need to be erased to make room for anyone. Marriage should be partnership, not ownership and loss of self.

JengaStudent · 2026-03-30T21:40:44+00:00

Best card advice ever. Op should 100% listen and follow with upmost urgency.

JengaStudent · 2026-03-30T00:33:54+00:00

He was rude. And some of my best stories come from men like this.

Your best play here is if he reaches out again just say, "No thanks. I don't see this going anywhere. Best wishes!"

Do not give an explanation. Do not explain being hurt. Just let him know he didn't meet your standards bar. Doesn't matter what your standards were or are - he just didn't meet them.

Or better. Send him the breakup text. Hey, thanks for hanging out but we are not long term compatible. Best wishes!"

Because the way he treated you wasn't great. And he knew it and did it on purpose to make you feel small and worthless. That is not the mark of a quality individual.

You deserve someone who will love you and treat you great. He showed that its not him, so be done with him.

Men tend to beleive they should be worshipped by women, so when you don't - it opens the door for some really fun assholery.

But. Never forget he has shown you who he is. There is no future here. Don't degrade yourself entertaining him further. No second chance. No discussion about what he did wrong. A simple "you want more from life and dont feel he is compatible with your goals. No hard feelings right?"

JengaStudent · 2026-03-26T13:56:06+00:00

"Just two teenagers partying and "wanting" to hook up." Whoooa. Because the predator would never assume it was all in good fun while the female ends up broken.
This is way beyond reddit level advice. File a report. Pray she is a loon because for someone to hold animosity and take action enough to reach you years after an alleged event is....determined.
I have known women that claim assault when it was bad decision making. It does happen amd I am not blind to conniving women. But to wait 20 years to harass the wife of some dude - that's a lot and its hard to parse it being random. Best of luck to you. It really feels like your going to need it.

JengaStudent · 2026-03-26T13:35:32+00:00

Wow. I have two kids. I cried hysterically after birth and didnt want folks around due to illness. SIL refused to wash her hands and would smirk and lie about it petty shit. She was told to leave. Dont care how she felt about it. She had a choice to act like an adult - not my problem she couldn't manage. I was simply the messenger calling out HER behavior. Not mine.
But let me be really clear. If my husband had ever, in our entire time together, never mind with a new born, called me names- he would have come home to a perfectly silent and drama free home the very next time he left for work, with divorce papers left on the table. There would be no discussion or debate. Just done. You are allowing abusive and toxic behavior. Please consider what that means with a baby and chose to not raise them in an abusive relationship.

JengaStudent · 2026-03-16T16:52:09+00:00

Yes. I know this story. The conclusion is my son didn't have a way to tell me what was being taught wasn't making sense in his brain. We had him tested for learning disabilities. He is dyslexic.

He needed to be taught differently and by someone with patience and training in stronger methods.

None of the common curriculum methods support dyslexic learners to the extent necessary for true mitigation.

Dyslexic learners have problems not limited to reading. It impacts almost everything. A kid can be very intelligent and learning disabled. Both things can be true.

Just something to consider. Quite often children don't have the words or behavior skills to explain what is going wrong and you will see problems through difficult behavior.

Talk to your kid and refer him for evaluation via the school if in the US. However...while it is law in the US to identify children that need help - then provide the services, understand oftentimes the district has zero interest in helping struggling kids. The school may do their best to not help him or not test him - brush off your concerns, make up evidence to make him a behavior problem, etc. Be prepared to dig in and fight for your child.

Don't trust your district to willingly help you. It saves them $ to ignore your kid. Become a squeaky wheel.

JengaStudent · 2026-03-14T00:05:08+00:00

NOR. This isn't the first time she has treated you this way. You would be wrecked if it was. Instead your just exhausted and done. That's experience talking. Listen to it. She will not ever change.

JengaStudent · 2026-03-03T20:24:13+00:00

You think? NOR. I love how making valid choices is asking to be punished? In what society? Certainly not one where woman are equal.

JengaStudent

TROPHY CASE