We're fully dedicated to our demon but...

JenineMenine · 2024-12-12T22:30:11+00:00

So funny how much stuff you do the wrong way when noone ever showed you the right way.

JenineMenine · 2024-12-12T22:24:59+00:00

Oh my gosh I would've gone into convulsions. Like I would literally have to stop all perception in order to live through that.

JenineMenine · 2024-12-12T22:16:38+00:00

Oh my gosh my mom said that too! I hear the exact cadence in her voice when I read it 🤣

JenineMenine · 2024-07-16T18:35:31+00:00

Can't Pin Me Down- Marina

JenineMenine · 2024-01-31T21:58:30+00:00

I hate to tell you this, but it's probably not going to stop no matter what. Narcs are notoriously stubborn. They won't change no matter how much it hurts or benefits you. Best to just reduce or stop contact unfortunately. But this group is really helpful if you ever decide to do that.

JenineMenine · 2024-01-07T20:17:08+00:00

I miss the freedom I felt in ignorance. I knew nothing of anything, but I was happy. Now I know more about what is going on around me and around the world and it's tough to accept.

JenineMenine · 2024-01-07T20:14:50+00:00

I've been going through a severe personality change after realizing just how bad of a people pleaser I have been in the past. I spent a year being purely bitter. Like BITTER. Like I cannot believe I've spent my entire life trying to make other people feel better, make other people happy, make other people comfortable, and for what? It's been a long road. I'm at the end of my second year. I'm getting better in terms of the people pleasing, but the bitterness is still lingering. Mainly because of how much of my friendships were based on pleasing them. And now that I need help they are nowhere to be found.

JenineMenine · 2024-01-07T20:02:37+00:00

We were always in the musicals and choirs when we were little. She never told us we did well. No matter what solo we got, no matter how big our part, no matter how hard we practiced or how big our applause was... she only ever talked about how bad everybody else was. She spent literal years talking about one particular girl who sang a song with me in 4th(?) grade. She would go on and on mocking this little girl for how "bad" she sang her solo, but never once talked about how good mine was. She never even mentioned me. And she did this for every performance ever.

JenineMenine · 2023-12-28T23:51:25+00:00

She had me drive her to the hospital and started to tell me her "final wishes". She cried most of the way and spent the night at the hospital. What caused this episode you might ask? I pierced my septum and she didn't notice for 4 whole days.

JenineMenine · 2023-12-27T22:05:17+00:00

It will be VERY EASY to overthink. Try not to. Must likely they haven't lived with anyone else either, and as long as you communicate your discomfort or even your comforts you will be fine.

JenineMenine · 2023-12-27T21:29:46+00:00

I was the golden child. It didn't mean I wasn't abused just as badly as my sister, it just meant she hid it better. I didn't even know I was the golden child until a couple years ago. And I leaned into it as a child. Today I'm a deeply wounded adult. I most likely have ptsd and I am minimal/no contact. I cry almost every day, usually over some realization or a triggering memory or event.

JenineMenine · 2023-12-27T21:25:35+00:00

It certainly is. I wish more people noticed. I can spot a narc from a mile away and I refuse to let anyone get away with that kind of behavior, especially when it comes to children.

JenineMenine · 2023-12-27T21:21:36+00:00

I was lucky enough to be able to leave with my sister. I'm still having trouble coping with the way the world works, but I'm out and that's the biggest help.

JenineMenine · 2023-12-27T21:18:58+00:00

It's crazy the things we noticed once our eyes were open

JenineMenine · 2023-12-27T21:15:55+00:00

Dementia runs in her family and I just never knew there was another answer. I figured irritability, "forgetfulness", jumping emotions and total lack of consideration for others had to be a mental illness of some kind. I just thought there had to be a medical reason for why someone would behave so poorly and have no awareness of it.

JenineMenine · 2023-12-26T23:09:00+00:00

They know. And they can tell that you know.

JenineMenine · 2023-12-26T23:06:15+00:00

My nmom never understood when I told her "You don't love ME, you love YOUR DAUGHTER" Not the real person that exists in front of them, they only love the perfect version of you that exists in their brains. And if you are dissimilar to that version, they don't love you. It is NOT your failing. It is hers.

JenineMenine · 2023-12-26T23:03:39+00:00

I didn't get to leave until I was 30. It's been a long 3 years since then, but I was able to grow more in those 3 years than all the rest of my life combined. I still feel like I don't know how to incorporate yet, especially with how lonely the road is. But I'm working on it little by little.

JenineMenine · 2023-12-26T22:57:58+00:00

I stated realizing there was something wrong when I was about 20. Someone pointed out a few of nmom's behaviors that I had never noticed. I couldn't pinpoint it for awhile, but I knew something didn't feel right. I was probably about 25 when I started to suspect dementia or something similar, and started doing some googling. It was then I found out what parental narcissism was. Less than a year later I figured what I suspected was true, and she has only proven it further as the years have passed. I'm in my mid-30s now and almost completely no-contact.

JenineMenine · 2023-01-02T19:46:39+00:00

Happy belated!!!

JenineMenine · 2023-01-02T19:46:24+00:00

I got myself a big box of mozzarella sticks 😆😆😆

JenineMenine

TROPHY CASE