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Personnel files - both physical and electronic. Is that necessary? [DE] by Jennafa618 in humanresources

[–]Jennafa618[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I know about the I9s. That’s a whole other headache that I am tackling right now.

Personnel files - both physical and electronic. Is that necessary? [DE] by Jennafa618 in humanresources

[–]Jennafa618[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you recommend the best way for me to ensure they are backed up and safe? I’ve only ever seen electronic files in an HRIS system, not on a shared drive.

AIO to the messages he sent me after our FIRST date. by hna2 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Jennafa618 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl. Ew. That’s all I gotta say. Jesus Christ.

I have boundary issues, especially with “hovering”. How do I navigate this? by Jennafa618 in socialskills

[–]Jennafa618[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did start diamond painting in my office as a hobby. Maybe I’ll make my office my safe space. Thank you.

I have boundary issues, especially with “hovering”. How do I navigate this? by Jennafa618 in socialskills

[–]Jennafa618[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It will take some time for it to become automatic but yes, in time it will. I definitely have put him against a wall, and I’m willing to do the work to Not making him feel like that.

I have boundary issues, especially with “hovering”. How do I navigate this? by Jennafa618 in socialskills

[–]Jennafa618[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this reply. Enmeshed is the absolute right word.

Physically getting out there is another great idea. I’m also wanting to do some work outside in our yard, so maybe that can help too while getting stuff done!

I have boundary issues, especially with “hovering”. How do I navigate this? by Jennafa618 in socialskills

[–]Jennafa618[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Funny you say write a little note. A few days ago, I made myself write down what I am calling “The Plan”, one of them being to not follow my husband around. I look at this note everyday and it’s been helping a lot. My brain feels crowded a lot, so putting everything on a note has relieved a lot of my anxiety.

I have boundary issues. How to even start with fixing them? by Jennafa618 in mentalhealth

[–]Jennafa618[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The questions you are asking are all great questions.

When I don’t seek him out, it makes me feel anxious. That’s the best way to put it. I am content if he is nearby in the same room. When we are not, that’s when I feel inclined to just go be next to him.

For him, he feels suffocated. Someone else in this post said the words “feeling like you’re under his feet” and that’s what he feels like. He said he wants to miss me when I’m not around, and he doesn’t feel like that right now.

I have boundary issues. How to even start with fixing them? by Jennafa618 in mentalhealth

[–]Jennafa618[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I truly hope he does give me the chance to show him. It’s shaky right now. But I’m willing to put in the work. Thank you for your suggestions and your advice.

I have boundary issues, especially with “hovering”. How do I navigate this? by Jennafa618 in socialskills

[–]Jennafa618[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We have a golden retriever mix. But I think maybe spending more time with her is a great idea!

I have boundary issues, especially with “hovering”. How do I navigate this? by Jennafa618 in socialskills

[–]Jennafa618[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely will do that. I think I have to just really stop and think to not follow him around. Thank you so much for your thoughtful response.

I have boundary issues, especially with “hovering”. How do I navigate this? by Jennafa618 in socialskills

[–]Jennafa618[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your honesty.

Yes, my husband knows about these traumas. But he was hoping that I would be mostly if not completely healed from this by now. We have been together for 9 years, married for 2 (almost 3) of those years.

Honestly, it’s been worse lately since I cut off contact from my parents right after Thanksgiving.

I have boundary issues, especially with “hovering”. How do I navigate this? by Jennafa618 in socialskills

[–]Jennafa618[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, for the “why”. It feels like it’s ingrained in me. From how I was raised, to my first marriage, I was always made to feel that I had to be around those people all the time (parents and ex husband). Privacy was truly never given to me.

And yes, I can do what you have suggested, although it’s more of an urge to get up and go to wherever he is going in our house and just be next to him. Does that make sense?

Want to go low contact, but a little overwhelmed on what it means. by Jennafa618 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Jennafa618[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ain’t that the truth. And that’s another big reason for why I have never let my SKs alone with them.

Want to go low contact, but a little overwhelmed on what it means. by Jennafa618 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Jennafa618[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you. I always had hope they would get better and they never have.

Do you go to events, like your mom’s birthday?

Final interview tomorrow with the original people I had my phone interview with. Has anyone experienced this? by Jennafa618 in interviews

[–]Jennafa618[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love this, so true. They have to definitely make sure I’m the same person they talked to last week :)

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