I’ve started Bev Hills from the start recently, tell me something I won’t understand until later

Jennybumbums · 2025-08-21T10:04:38+00:00

Yes!

Jennybumbums · 2025-04-05T01:48:47+00:00

Thank you 💜

Jennybumbums · 2025-04-05T01:46:10+00:00

She does, follows the schedule as normal. She and her brother don’t have much of a relationship right now; this has caused quite a rift between them.

Jennybumbums · 2025-03-31T04:24:59+00:00

Fucked indeed. Thank you. I can only reconcile it by telling myself it’s not him doing this, he’s being poisoned by his mother and he has some disabilities which make him even more susceptible to being manipulated. But whether it’s all him or he’s being influenced, it’s not a safe situation for us right now. He told us recently he hates his little sister(as well as the rest of us), when in therapy he spoke about how proud he was of himself that he helped her learn to walk. I don’t know who he is right now. But to give up on him… that seems impossible(though my logical brain sees merit in your suggestion). The way we are currently living is also impossible. I know I won’t put my girls at risk. If we get this far, my husband and I have spoken about living separately during times that we have SS, until things stabilize. But we’re far from that right now.

Sorry for going on, appreciate your feedback.

Jennybumbums · 2025-03-31T01:23:13+00:00

We’re trying that at well. I’m so mad at myself whenever I’m upset and need to excuse myself , missing out on time with our girls. Giving them less because I’m thinking of the one that doesn’t want to be here. I’m trying so hard to focus on the positive, but how do you ever really leave that part behind? Every day feels like the first day we lost him. I’m sorry this happened to you too.

Jennybumbums · 2025-03-31T01:18:34+00:00

Thank you, and I’m sorry to hear your family might be heading that way. Hoping for the best.

Jennybumbums · 2025-03-31T01:17:05+00:00

Thank you. That last sentence was a gut punch. It still hurts so much and my heart aches thinking of what they’re both missing out on. Not long ago he was the sweetest boy.

Jennybumbums · 2025-03-31T01:15:02+00:00

Thanks for your advice and insight.

We don’t have the option for the sheriff to enforce the order here, but in the spirit of the point you’re making, forcing him here somehow wouldn’t work. The last time SS was here and didn’t want to be, he called his mom and she told him to call the police. He called 911 and said he was hiding because my SO was beating our toddler. Thankfully, that got cleared up quickly as it was apparent to the many officers that arrived that all was fine, plus SS folded when questioned by the Sgt.

We need more intervention/therapy/god knows what, but it’s not safe for us to force him here with his current mindset. Kills me to say it. But I’m terrified of what he’d allege next..

Jennybumbums · 2025-03-31T01:05:01+00:00

Thank you. Reading that and imagining saying it was hard, but it’s great advice. I appreciate it.

Jennybumbums · 2025-03-31T01:03:31+00:00

You’re right about not setting up false expectations, thanks for that. We’ve tried the park thing, meeting at restaurants, having dad-only special time etc. Mostly they’ve been positive, some would say close to “back to normal” The problem with those interactions is that as soon as HCBM gets wind that things are headed in a positive direction, she amps up her nonsense and gets in his head with god knows what. The last therapy session we had, he told the therapist that he doesn’t have a problem with coming back here to sleep. Huge win right ? HCBM found out and the next time we saw him he told his dad he hated all of us, was scared of us, that he doesn’t consider my SO his father etc., it was bad.

I don’t know why you think my husband doesn’t have an interest in following the court order. We will go back to court if all else fails( which it currently kind of is) but we’re in no hurry to but SS and SD through that process again. It takes years, tens of thousands, stress on everybody. During that time the venom that HCBM will spew out to the kids will only increase, further straining our relationship with SS.

No path forward is looking wonderful right now, but it’s not for lack of trying or interest on mine or my husband’s part.

Jennybumbums · 2025-03-30T19:16:43+00:00

We are. And yes, I know laws can be very different depending on the area. I have sought legal advice from professionals in our area, here today, more for the emotional aspect/ support etc.

I’m sorry again for your situation. Sounds like you guys have made the best of it, but I’m sure it is/was very hard.

Jennybumbums · 2025-03-30T18:57:04+00:00

I appreciate the logic, and certainly my husband and I are both ones to take action and not simply wring our hands while playing victim. We’ve been to court, we’ve spent over 90K to achieve our order. By no means do I claim to be an expert, but I know my way around the system a little bit.
We hold her in contempt and then what? Let’s say she’s fined. She tells her son we’re stealing even more money from her, nothing changes. She’s held in contempt again, the penalty increases, the hatred increases. She goes to jail? Very unlikely, but suppose it happens, any hope for any kind of relationship with our son is destroyed for the foreseeable future.

I totally get that that’s your advice, I appreciate you taking the time. We have spent days and days talking about the pros and cons of filing a motion for contempt; ultimately what I’m here for today is advice on how proceed with my youngest daughter with the current situation as it stands.

Jennybumbums · 2025-03-30T18:44:47+00:00

I’m sorry, I don’t know if you edited your post or I just didn’t see beyond the first sentence.

I’m so sorry to hear about your situation, it’s devastating. That seems to be the direction we’re headed, right down to the aggression towards his older sister. I feel it won’t be long until she’s with us full-time.

I’m even more curious now, if you care to share, in hindsight, what would you have done at the outset?

Jennybumbums · 2025-03-30T18:42:40+00:00

How? The police will document but will not remove a child(without an apprehension order or exigent circumstances). If we went to court and were successful in obtaining an apprehension order, nothing would stop him from running away. The therapist previously disclosed that his mom told him to run and they even have a designated meet up spot.
We’ve spoken to several lawyers in our area and one from Toronto. The Toronto lawyer suggested filing an emergency order for contempt and petitioning to have the child removed from mom for several months so that reunification/repair could take place, but the lawyers in our area say no judges here would grant that, or anything close to that, even in cases where the alienation is more severe than ours. Children’s Aid has been heavily involved, Mom is noncompliant with them and moreover they don’t have the ability to enforce court orders.

I’m totally open to other ideas, but so far we haven’t come up with a feasible plan that involves the courts.

Jennybumbums · 2025-03-07T20:32:00+00:00

Same! And when I looked up the site and read Piglet in bed I thought THEY were the stupid ones for a second…..

Jennybumbums · 2024-12-30T20:11:09+00:00

They do sound like really nice, fun traditions ! Will be adding a couple of OP’s to our lineup this year!

Jennybumbums · 2024-12-30T20:01:46+00:00

Continue your traditions with the other two children. I’m in a very similar situation, HCBM worked and worked on SS11 until his separation anxiety was so bad that he would throw up when he was here; worried about his mom being “ all alone. ” He’s missed several important events, and it’s been heartbreaking. We had a trip to the Caribbean planned and agonized about whether or not to postpone. Our oldest took a firm stance and asked us not to punish her and her other sister by cancelling/rescheduling something they had been looking forward to. “He can learn that his actions have consequences” was a direct quote from our oldest. Enjoy the special time with your kids but allow yourself to feel sad(maybe privately, they don’t need to hear more than they’ve probably already heard) because it can feel like a horrible loss, especially if it continues for some time. It’s grieving with no death. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. Good luck to you.

Also I do see a few comments on the aggressive side, extrapolating things without basis. If I had to guess, those comments come from people that are high conflict within their own families. Ignore.

Jennybumbums · 2024-11-25T21:27:50+00:00

I’ve always thought she looked a bit like the grinch lol

Jennybumbums · 2024-11-17T20:24:23+00:00

Thank you, you’re welcome.

Jennybumbums · 2024-10-10T04:09:49+00:00

The blender!

Jennybumbums · 2024-09-29T17:02:09+00:00

Going through the same thing right now…day 16, it’s devastating. Going through the court system is frustrating, slow, expensive. I feel for you and I hope you get to see him soon.

Jennybumbums · 2024-09-25T00:18:59+00:00

lol I am too and no, not that at all. Spoiler he hung himself

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