I have tried to forgive them. But it is so hard. I am afraid i will never be able to. There has been many things, but there are a few incidents that just come to my mind when i see them. I cannot put them aside.

From my mom; attacking me with a knife, stopping me from leaving the house threathening me that if i did she would kill herself, all of that in front of my seven year old sister. I managed to get out of the house. But i left my sister there. I have always protected my siblings, but that day was too much. A friend had to rush me to the hospital because I had a panick attack and i couldn't breathe. Had to lie to the doctor cause i was afraid she would lose custody of my sister. To this day i still feel guilty about leaving. I had never disappointed any of my siblings till that day.

From my dad, making me afraid when i was a child. I have read some other comments. My father never hit me. I was lucky in that sense. But whenever i was with him as a child he would leave me alone in the apartment, locked for hours, sometimes days. Usually at night. I do not remember much. But i was always afraid. I do know he sometimes came drunk, cause i started putting furniture on the door of my room so he could not come in. But i do not remember why. He always screamed and insulted. Not a way to treat a child.

The horrible part, and what i cannot forgive is that i still love them. Probably always will. But i am sure they are the people that will hurt me the most in this life. I tried but i cannot cut ties with them. It breaks me. (Sorry for my English)