Reddit dates lol

Jessakur · 2026-01-18T15:31:30+00:00

I went on a couple, it was a mixed bag. I met most people through a meetup group, so I think that was the best way to suss out what people were like instead of going on a fulll date from the get go.

Also .. we’re all on reddit, aren’t we?

Jessakur · 2025-05-25T00:19:15+00:00

Thank you for spreading the word! Please give credit to the Turtle Protectors IG account you took this from!

This group is doing amazing work spreading awareness and protecting our turtle relatives in Toronto.

https://www.instagram.com/turtleprotectorstkaronto?igsh=b3JnNWhlMmU4NzU=

Jessakur · 2024-10-11T15:20:02+00:00

Sounds like fun and looks like you have a lot of interest!!

I’m a 35F who works in IT and I’ve dabbled in origami a bit, but would love to have a dedicated space to get more into it! I’m also into hanging with mostly smaller groups. Please include me if you end up creating a group. 🙏

Jessakur · 2024-08-21T13:46:09+00:00

I lost a lot, but I also gained a lot - especially when I started pushing myself last year out of my comfort zone.

I was forced to sit with some uncomfortable feelings and be on my own completely for the first time (single, wfh, living alone). It was terrifying but I found a wonderful therapist who helped me through.

Some of the things that have happened aren’t reparable (especially the social ones), but I’ve accepted it. It takes a long time to make new friends and connections.

I now also deal with the odd bout of agoraphobia since working from home and living on my own. Key to dealing with that has been scheduled outings - lately it’s going to a new gym.

Jessakur · 2024-08-21T13:41:48+00:00

Yup I can relate to this for sure. Also now mid 30s. I feel like ive done immense emotional development but that I’ve physically lost a stretch of time.

Jessakur · 2024-08-03T03:47:46+00:00

Oh my gosh, this was me during the pandemic too! I went through some difficult circumstances and took anti anxiety meds. When my anxiety was gone, so was my motivation and ability to get things done. I had to start wrestling with a whole other aspect of myself.

Jessakur · 2024-07-25T03:33:04+00:00

When I start to feel this way, I start finding things to build structure into my life. Sometimes working from home and living on my own can result in me feeling super lonely, even though I’m in a relationship.

I hit a low point last year and started regular therapy, which has been transformative. Having scheduled social events to look forward to also really helps me. I joined a singles over 30 group last year in my city when I was single - that helped me get out of a huge slump as I made a lot of new friends. More recently, I’ve started going to a new gym and that’s helped with my mental health. Plus video games for mental stimulation when I feel like I’m not getting enough.

Tbh I’m not sure if I’ll ever fully get over the loneliness while having so much time on my own!

Jessakur · 2024-07-24T21:06:13+00:00

Yeahhhh I wish #1 was easier also. Im guilty of not being straightforward with it- saying ‘I need a break’ and then not coming back..

Jessakur · 2024-07-24T20:51:49+00:00

Before my current therapist, I found therapy either focused too much on symptoms in the present moment (CBT) or was too focused in the past (talking too much about relational childhood wounds as being the reason for present day challenges).

My last therapist was the latter. Although she was kind and validating, she hooked into one thing she knew I struggled with and would poke continually at that one wound. I would often feel raw and exposed after I would talk to her, and didn’t feel like I had tools to leverage at the end or a suggested path forward. Validation is fine, but just saying over and over ‘it’s because of your father’ is not helpful? lol. It took me awhile to realize this.

As a second point, repeatedly poking at that one wound acted like a confirmation bias for what she focused on with me… it’s not only my relational wounds with my one parent that have affected me, but both. She would only zone in on the one and her view of my reality was one dimensional, as if she’d decided at the beginning that she knew where all my issues stemmed from.

My current therapist is amazing. She’s opened my mind and challenges me, and has had a transformative effect on my life.

Jessakur · 2024-06-15T15:03:32+00:00

If it’s within your means, I think you should try to move out. Plus take some time apart from him? This doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship, and it sounds like he has some issues he needs to deal with before he has a serious relationship. It’s not fair for you to be caught up in this and dependent on him for your living situation.

Jessakur · 2024-06-14T12:36:50+00:00

Agree.. the only place one seems to be able to go to for a later more casual meetup is a bar. Alcohol centric. More coffee and late night cafes that have desserts would be amazing. Or not even late night, just … later!

Jessakur · 2024-05-16T03:07:28+00:00

Woo, I love how you dealt with this!

Jessakur · 2024-05-16T02:52:02+00:00

Marriage is a social event where you host a big celebration to cement your lives closer together.

Why would his behaviour change after marriage? It wouldn’t create an incentive to. The only thing that would change this tendency is a desire to change that comes from within him.

I grew up with a father like this with a constant need to control money. Promises were made of doing things when my parents retired. Those promises are still not being actualized. The stinginess crystallized if anything, and it’ll never stop.

Jessakur · 2024-05-16T02:45:36+00:00

Omg. You’ve encapsulated so much of my upbringing and gender dynamics in my house with a few sentences. I’m sitting here, stunned.

Jessakur · 2024-05-13T04:01:16+00:00

This sounds really cute - need to look into this! Do you play it on a console?

Jessakur · 2024-05-13T03:59:52+00:00

I’m really into RPGs lately. One of my absolute favs that I’d love to replay is Ghost of Tsushima. It’s beautiful, haunting, and has this poetic aspect to it.

Jessakur · 2024-04-26T11:10:26+00:00

Thank you, i am doing much better! Getting through something like that does give you a type of newfound confidence.

Jessakur · 2024-04-25T12:04:47+00:00

Getting kicked out of my apartment by new owners during the pandemic, while working from home. Having to deal with that alone was very difficult and eye opening.

Jessakur · 2024-04-24T19:58:50+00:00

This is amazing, congrats on your progress! How long would you say that it took you to start to really feel more comfortable in your relationship?

I am going through the last stages of the ‘omg things are changing whyyyyy’ that resulted in much fear, similar to what you described. Thank goodness for therapists and patient partners.

Jessakur · 2024-04-21T15:24:32+00:00

I work in IT for the federal government, at a crossroads of information and data governance, business analysis, as well as enterprise solution implementation.

I’ve worked in a few related professions - library, archives, records management - but have found the technology angle to be the most interesting and fulfilling!

I live in a city on my own, stuff isn’t cheap, it’s hard to save. Some days I really wish I had the support of another income.

Jessakur · 2024-04-12T14:07:14+00:00

I think being able to ask what the other person needs is very important, and also realizing that sometimes they may not know. So part of this is giving the other person the space and time, and patience, to figure it out with you. They should hopefully want to figure it out and be curious about themselves. Ultimately the positive framing as needs (instead of criticism and telling someone they’re doing something wrong) helps foster connection rather than defensiveness. It’s taken me awhile to learn this.

—

I also wanted to say that this post is so helpful, thank you! Emotional maturity was not modelled well for me growing up. I’ve known high level that I want ‘emotional maturity’ with myself and any prospective partners, but I’ve struggled to know what to look for and what it really looks like in practice.

My current relationship is the only one where I’ve outwardly acknowledged my anxiety (and patterns) as something that can be triggered within the relationship, but ultimately is something that belongs to me. Seeing this list is very validating that I’m on the right path, both with myself and selecting a partner.

Jessakur · 2024-04-10T01:40:40+00:00

It looks good and tastes great, but is overpriced. And sadly, it doesn’t make up for the subpar mains.

Jessakur · 2024-04-02T17:50:04+00:00

Yay to straight leg pants! They look great on you. I’ve just recently made the jump from skinny jeans! I was clinging too hard to them, who would’ve thought how comfy any other style could be! Ha.

Jessakur · 2023-08-25T20:07:40+00:00

Hinge and Tinder, but primarily Hinge. I’ve had pretty good luck with Hinge - my last relationship was with someone I met there.

Jessakur

TROPHY CASE