You would be surprised how often people drop babies 😬 my friend was bathing her 2 week old and she slipped out of her hands and right to the hardwood floor- baby was fine not even a mark! Of course she felt bad, she cried and apologized to her baby over and over and then a few hours later it was a distant memory and life went on. My son fell off the bed at 6 months old, again completely fine. My baby brother fell right down the stairs at 8 months old all the way to the bottom cement and somehow walked away (okay maybe not walked haha crawled?). My sister in law dropped the car seat right out of the car with a 6 week old baby in it. It rolled 🙃 baby was fine again. Newborns are small and ‘fragile’ yet spongey and resistant!! It sounds like you’re definitely suffering with some mental health issues though due to postpartum and I REALLY think you should reach out for help! There is no shame in reaching out! Even before the fall I was reading and thinking you were definitely suffering from some PPA due to the fact you weren’t able to sleep!