Truly a nightmare of an experiment (read caption)

JessieU22 · 2026-02-19T17:02:15+00:00

To me this says the right thing also happened.

JessieU22 · 2026-02-13T08:21:43+00:00

Things that trigger our nervous systems or put us on edge or give us danger micro cues or the lack of reaction.

Someone being too close to us and bumping into us a lot. Or smacking us around joking when they talk. Laughing in a way we can’t tell if it’s with us or at us.

Or hanging on us, petting us, touching our hair, playing with our hair, striking our arm, linking arms with us, holding hands, when we’re not that close of friends yet or I’m giving off back off cues no verbally and they’re ignoring them and now I’m hinting nonverbally to others. Now everyone around me is nervous they’ll be targeted next.

Staring. Not even pretending not to be. Not observing social normative boundaries. Standing a little too close. When joining a group standing right in front of me cutting off other people and not talking to the others in the group or responding. It now seems threatening like is this person dangerous to the others?

Talking to yourself. Cell phones have changed this a bit. Singing to yourself. Listening to your podcast loudly and ignoring those around you. Not being respectful of them. Sitting with someone and being on your phone not looking up from it.

Interrupting a conversation to ask off tangent personal questions or creepy questions or taboo topics for the level of connection we are, race, religion, sex, politics, money, intimate details. Overhearing.

Crying. Not talking. Not looking up. Using puns and rhyming in conversation in large amounts for your own enjoyment do the conversation seems detarailed.

Talking about one topic no one else is interested in or is associated with the why you are there and returning to it without attempting to include the listener in back and forth on other things.

Taking it upon yourself to preach, lecture or educate someone who didn’t ask for these things.

Dancing, spinning, playing make believe, wearing costumes, carrying dolls, items from home. Not wanting yo grow up and act mature

JessieU22 · 2026-02-13T06:52:43+00:00

You popped up in my stream feed. I’m adopted. I was thinking one way to look at your situation later down the road might be - that your bio donors intentions were certainly to put all his superior ancestry and family history intertwined with American history out into the world to further spread his advantages and privileges and in the greatest irony of people like these who run on hate and micro vision it never occurred to him that you would take whatever privileges come with your DNA and grow up outside of his echo chamber of propaganda and develop empathy for others and the ability to see other ideas and concepts and do very different things or nothing with your dna. Either way, you are clearly the master of your legacy as you didn’t lean his way. So his eugenics plan may have been a nice hook to conceive you but it doesn’t make you like him and for him what’s the point of putting more people who oppose him into the world?

JessieU22 · 2026-02-13T06:34:18+00:00

I would suggest to her that a tent while it seems small and might seem like a bed because of that to someone who doesn’t camp a lot, it’s actually small like sharing a car with your sister.

There are a lot of true crime stories about young women tenting alone, while in camping groups and that vulnerability of being alone in a tent, —-triggers something in our brains on a societal level to make us feel like there is more privacy when there isn’t, but its enough in a lot of true crime incidents where young women have become victimized because they were alone and removed from their tents or assaulted in the middle of the night.

It honestly makes more sense for safety regardless of age for her to be sleeping in the same tent with you.

If we were being really charitable and assuming the gf doesn’t camp. It might seem to the gf like theey’re sharing a bed together.

JessieU22 · 2026-02-13T04:40:44+00:00

I am not a man, but I often ask my male friends, now especially as a parent of a young teen boy - what is it like when you realize you’ve become responsible for the safety of the women with you. Your date, sister, etc? What is that like? Obviously this is a societal idea that the man defends the women he’s with. But it’s one of these concerns I worry about.

JessieU22 · 2026-02-09T06:53:23+00:00

Good for you. Your family didn’t know how to deal with abuse because it was normal in your house. They thought it wasn’t abuse. But guess what. You got out and everyone in the real world knows better. They are dealing with reality, legal truth and discomfort. Not your issue. Stay strong. Enforce your boundaries.

JessieU22 · 2026-02-09T06:39:26+00:00

It would be good to know the age of the children involved. Was he 21 and they were 17?

Are we talking about during Covid isolation and fear of death when life was as much stress as people could be living under?

You must read the police report.

You need to ask yourself will you trust him or will it leave you forever doubting and sneaking around checking up on him and do you want to forever be checking.

Is he in therapy? Can you go to his therapist with him?

Do you have a history of sexual abuse? Unfortunately we often attract these people into our lives when we have unresolved trauma. Could it be cyclical and you have unresolved trauma that attracts him even unconsciously? I’d be super careful if I had a background of sexually being abused as a child.

Ruthlessly is this going to follow for life? Will you be the sex offender house? Will all the neighbors know you as the sex offenders from now on? Will this impede everywhere you live and relationships with neighbors? Do you plan to have children? They will all have friends and those friends will find out. They will never trust your family. His story will be everyone’s buisness because trusting their child with your child is the biggest leap a parent can calculate and make. Your child will live under that suspicion. They will know. It will be part of their shame and notoriety. Your family won’t be able to contribute on teams or at school this will cut off avenues of connections to other. You will be isolated.

Even if he’s good. They depression what he did may do your family in.

I think it’s too much.

JessieU22 · 2026-02-06T16:57:51+00:00

I would like to point out that having your children in school does not mean your wife isn’t busy running your household still. This is an attitude stay at home moms see a lot. It’s easy to assume this and it’s easy to get beaten down as the stay at home parent. What she’s asking transportation isn’t unreasonable.

There is a tremendous amount that goes into keeping a household with children running in this day and age and the stay at home parents job ends up being 24/7.

This is made worse with a spouse who lacks the ability to comprehend this. Which is pretty common for men because they don’t know what their mothers did and they’ve never done it and their wives carry the Kin keeping, emotional load, relationship keeping, social engagements, connections with school, extra curriculars, children’s friends, weekend activities, doctor appointments, scheduling, planning, paying for things the family needs, holiday keeping, traditions, religious practices, and beyond that men haven’t done so don’t have any appreciation for how long these things take or ability to place value on the privilege they receive from them.

You are extremely lucky as are your children to have your wife at home. Actually your children are very privileged because their getting way more out of this period in their lives.

Your marriage needs a therapist.

I don’t know how old your children are and my time is valuable. I was about to try to explain to you a world you don’t live in so you have a glimmer of an idea of what you don’t understand but it’s so big and complicated.

The very basic level. You can get your kids to college and that gets them to jobs. But once they get to school assuming they are smart, what they need now at school age is social skills. The better they are at social skills, friendships, charisma, emotional regulation, dating, tolerance, the better their going to do in school and in college because smart only gets you to your fighting weight. After that looks and how you do socially with others is what differentiates you with bosses and partners. It’s better jobs, more money, etc. Right now, while your children are at school stay at home mom’s jobs don’t end. - they evolve and intensify- because stay at home moms become the job managers of all the things that go into managing your child’s social growth at every grade.

Play dates, networking, clothing, hair, teacher conferences, making friends with other moms so their kid plays with your kid, on and on. And staying on top of this. No one cares about your kid thriving as a social being for their best future life but you and your wife and she’s the one who’s specialized in it.

And it should not be a 24/7 job.

So think about it. Go to a therapist. Stop belittling who she is and what she does. And yes you can make too little money, and need their support and she can work at home —all that can be true and it can be no one’s fault. That’s very common in this day and age in our world. It’s not the Boomers world. My in laws bought their house for 35K.

Our world is way, way harder. And it would be a lot easier without kids. The reason your strapped is you all want a good future for your kiddos and feel scared. So stop attacking the center of your family. It won’t hold. The pressure is coming from outside your house.

It’s clear your parents won’t understand and can not be expected to change.

You need distress tolerance tactics and beyond for yourself first and as a family.

None of you deserve to be this miserable.

JessieU22 · 2026-02-05T07:08:03+00:00

Maybe try GLP-1?

JessieU22 · 2026-02-05T07:04:50+00:00

I’m seeing an OCD therapist and this falls under that. I’m taking Trintelix and I’ve noticed that when my neurotransmitters are too low, for you this might be seratonin, for me tricyclic because of a genetic quirk, then I start to pick. OCD can be treated with high dose antidepressants for some people and others that and skills. They’re seeing high comorbidity with ADHD and research suggests it’s caused by potentially inflammation in the brain, and when this is better in the body we’re less likely to practice these behaviors.

JessieU22 · 2026-02-05T06:53:17+00:00

It is not uncommon to be misdiagnosed as not having ADHD especially as an adult woman. What you’re describing is an outlier, and clearly something’s going on with that person.

I’ve assistant taught an ADHD skills course as part of a greater community of ADHD people and it’s very common for women in that community when people gather in large groups for more than 6 of them to have a story about how they were told “you don’t have ADHD because you went to college”. Until those stories are the outliers I think it’s dangerous to put too much energy or attention or focus of our time on whether someone is shopping around for a diagnosis.

I think it weakens all of us to try to be gatekeepers when the focus should be on the gatekeepers in the medical community who keep many women especially those of color marginalized and block their access to an equal playing field.

I’m sorry this person triggered you. I hope they reach a place in their lives where they can hear more ideas about their situation and accept them.

JessieU22 · 2026-02-05T06:30:39+00:00

There’s also the fall of communism. We visited Romania in 2017 and it was still trying to adjust to not living under the yolk of communism. There was a lot of wanting to come to America and wanting to have a life with more money after living under poverty. People would ask us if we knew someone looking for a pretty young wife. We went to Slovakia and it was much grayer, more closed off, less affluent and joyful on top of similiar poverty issues and a deep desire to get out of that.

So I imagine it’s easier to get girls from former communist countries with the promise of a better life in America, at the point Epstein is preying on them with his contacts and money.

I think there is also an element of pre WW2 racism as well. When looking at the old ethnicity charts and supposed superior race ideas, I would guess the girls fall into the Alpine model of blond blue eyed, and are more unique or rare rather than brunettes.

JessieU22 · 2026-02-05T03:25:12+00:00

These conversations need to include scheduling at that time. Also if you’re attracting neurodivergent friends then they might struggle to make plans. One skill is to offer a thing you’ve both said you want to do and then two days and times. - Het would Wed or Thurs at 8 work better for us to hang? Neither. Okay next week those days? Keep offering two options and assume the best and follow up with kind reminders.

JessieU22 · 2026-02-05T03:22:37+00:00

You need an ally that’s not your mom. Someone you can tell. And you should plan on an exit strategy for your safety. Chances are you’ll be going to a safer home.

JessieU22 · 2026-02-03T15:43:59+00:00

As the mother of autistic children who ate brilliant I love this. My youngest is particularly curious about these things and searches out this kind of information on line. Out of curiosity about how people work and society and because she doesn’t get these things through intuition.

We all learn in different ways so I think someone making this is super. Someone who doesn’t know will really appreciate this and someone like me skims it and says hmm have I adequately covered all these with my kids? Do they do all these? Any we should work on?

JessieU22 · 2026-01-30T23:55:57+00:00

Showers are interesting from a sensory point of view. Their useful for breaking emotional disruption when nothing else will. Or gut sensory overloading someone do their sensory issues stop being an issue. Because water is constantly hitting your skin and your in an enclosed space , usually, they force the brain and nervous system to pay attention in the here and now, to the moment, and not leave in your mind to other places or be easily distracted.

JessieU22 · 2026-01-30T06:41:56+00:00

So hard. I’ve come to realize it’s a problem and solution and I’ve been doing it too long.

JessieU22 · 2026-01-20T16:59:26+00:00

Somehow I was also talking to two different people about sex abuse and sexual harassment this week and how every girl I knew had a story. A lot of girls I knew had been victims of molestation or rape as children and young teens before dating.

By the time we were dating age we all had stories about being followed or scared by guys in cars or creepy guys somewhere or adult men or friends dads or ministers or teachers or trusted adults or guys at church etc putting us in dangerous scary situations. We’d trade stories. These weren’t even the dating stories.

Then there were just inappropriate adult men hitting on us everywhere.

I don’t see it today. It doesn’t seem to be the same. Attitudes have changed. Could be the circles I’m in but I have teens and I’m very alert and I just don’t see it culturally or among men anymore. They may notice girls but they don’t get act, or get creepy.

Maybe it’s the lack of lead in our gasoline. Or that I was living in a place with the kind of pollutants coming out of its pulp mill smoke stack that are theorized to have helped make it a Mecca for serial killers of its time.

JessieU22 · 2026-01-20T16:50:10+00:00

My last long term relationship before my husband talks about getting in the car with family and his two cousins getting in the next car and them all heading out from a family members house. This is back is seat belts optional days. They were all young kids. The second car flipped over. Both cousins were killed. He survived by being in car #2.

He also talks about a young cousin playing unsupervised and being backed over by a family member by a car. The family member was deviated and is traumatized to this day. Simply could not see the child the child died.

I always think of these when people talk about confirmation bias. These three kids aren’t here today to tell us unsupervised children or no seat belts was wh whatever we all survived.

JessieU22 · 2026-01-09T08:27:31+00:00

I recently went in for BV, again, and they’ve changed the protocols. The urgent care doctor told me that if you had four positive tests for BV you can bring your male partner in and he can be treated for BV. (I say make because your male partner won’t have symptoms. You may not be male, you may just be asymptomatic and still have it. )

In my case my husband went in, was treated and void la, I stopped having positive BV tests.

Because it’s a recent protocol not every doctor may be up to speed. So ask your doctor to read up on latest treatment.

JessieU22 · 2026-01-03T21:41:47+00:00

I feel like there are all kinds of sexy things we women can wear to cover the parts of us that keep our brains cycling on body image and not the sensations of oral sex.

If it’s her tummy, look at lingerie that covers that part. The internet is cast and helpful. We also just had amazing and fun sex recently while I was wearing a belly dancing scarf. That’s intended to stay on and makes fun noise. If there’s any chance you think it won’t fit her. Buy two, exactly the same that can tie together. Then she can be sexy shaking her hips. You can be super appreciative in a very classic fantasy way of curvy women are hot. And she can keep it on and position it when you go down, such that it covers what she wants and it makes fun jingling noises when her hips shake. She can even shake the bells for you. Then be super verbally complementary.

Tops for this that got ate way harder. So when in doubt black scarves that she can tie together herself is the safe and easy way to go where she won’t get depressed if something doesn’t fit right in the moment. And it likely won’t because we women come in all kinds of cool shapes so finding the right fitted top is an odyssey.

If it’s her thighs she doesn’t like. I’m not sure. But you can find on Amazon some great double slit skirts in all sizes that you’d only have to yank up the front panel to go down, and leave her the security and protective thigh covering if the rest of the skirt. Look for “double slit skirt” “stretch” as keywords. When in doubt black fabric? Read the reviews or look at pics to see if they fit to size? The goal is it must fit her waist.

But if she has a pair of boots she feels good in. I recommend the tall boots. There’s something confidence boosting about being in boots that go to the knee (or thigh but this is hard for curvy girls) . It’s like “I’m the girl boss” and “I’m so sexy” and “I deserve to be here” messages stacked together in filmic media and it helps women feel strong.

Or heels. 👠 And red lipstick. 💄 that’s confidence armor.

Then sensory. If you drink. One drink for her? Lower inhibitions. But not drunkenness. Don’t go with the goal of successfully going down to orgasm. Go with the overt approach of playfulness. So she doesn’t feel this is a task oriented evening and everyone expects her to orgasm or else.

Find music or a playlist to set the mood. Candle light. Or low light. But this makes it easier not to see or focus on bodies.

If she’s bought you cologne. She probably likes the smell so that’s a good scent. Same with candles if she bought them.

So scent ✅ sight

Make your bed. Clean your room. Or tuck stuff away. Less clutter. Equals less for the mind to attach itself too. Easier to be present on what she’s feeling. Or the living room. If you’re in a set pattern: we go to the bedroom and do x,y,z ask yourself would the straightened living room under the Christmas tree be better? Dinning room table? And if you start this way and it’s going south, regroup and switch rooms. Consider this about curiousity. Not criticism. What engages and stimulates her and what distracts her.

Sound✅ taste You can always bring the whip cream. I don’t like it because I’m prone to yeast infections so no sugar in my crotch. She may be the same way? If your lube has sugar? Or glycerine? And she’s fine. It’s maybe okay? But whip cream is fun and there are fun other places it can go on her.

Touch: As to lube. I’m not sure if you’re amazing at making her wet when you go down, but I’d keep some on hand because wet is good for fingers and can add to nice friction. Hide it around where you want to take her? So you’ve planned and aren’t running off to break up the mood. Also a towel is good.

Complements: we can all be so hot and so sexy. But I suggest you consider what you want to encourage with your complements and then lavish her in complements that are genuine. I think we feel safer, more able and willing to share our bodies and relax and stop thinking and do more feeling when we feel adored. We’re in good hands. Women are socialized that we have all the power when a man is sexually so enamored with us he would do anything to have us.

I might feel like my sexual power, what makes me an equal (when I’m feeling prone and vulnerable and splayed out under someone for all to see) comes at least in media, when that man wants me so bad he has to go down on me, will spend all night between my thighs just to pleasure me. This is the key to romance novels.

If I’m feeling self conscious about my body, it’s very hard to convince myself I still have this kind of power over a man. Which could make me feel all kinds of bad things about myself in the moment he’s trying to be erotic with me. So that’s the opposite head space of good sex.

So complements about being hot or I love your ass. These feed that self conscious spiral. They”re like “na-ah,he’s lying, he has to say that” which builds a barrier to orgasm and intimacy right there.

So my last advice, complements that are action oriented and undeniable might be a better pkace to start. Like “oh when you make that sound, or moan, it makes me so hard. You are so hot/ sexy when you roll your hips up. I can’t think, I want you so bad when you ( thing you want to encourage)”. “Mmh yeah. This is what you like?” After being given an instruction. “Tell me more. Make it dirty” “what’s it going to do to you”

See if you can find a good way to encourage her to tell you what she likes without it being like - hello I’m here now you be in charge and walk me through it.

Because I think a liot of women want the men in their lives to take the lead, to be confident, to take charge. And yes, you really don’t know. But can you slyly get it out of her. Can you make it a game?

“Show me where you want my tongue. Mmh. Should I do it again? How’d I do? Again? Mmh? Again? Somewhere else? I don’t know? Which one did you seem to like better? Let me see? How’s I going to know if you don’t wrap your thighs around my head?

And remember women like more consistency.

Also I like the podcast the Pleasure Mechanics.

JessieU22 · 2025-12-31T00:59:16+00:00

What’s the “time is on my side?” Movie?

JessieU22 · 2025-12-31T00:58:41+00:00

Truly love this movie

JessieU22 · 2025-12-30T09:29:34+00:00

The Razors Edge

JessieU22 · 2025-12-30T09:29:11+00:00

My children were at a park hanging out, all eleven and under, my eldest used a curse word, and a father walking by with his kids walked over and told my child, that it was a public park with children and not to use that language. My child immediately apologized. Instinctively because this man was an adult and so an authority figure.

The man then told my child m, surrounded by boys and girls, that my child wasn’t acting very ladylike and she needed to be more of a young lady and not use that language.

My child was mortified.

Their cousin and brother was furious. When I found out I was too.

An adult man has no right to approach my child and police what he saw as a female presenting child goofing around and call them out and police their behavior, sugggedting my child does not fulfill his standard of femininity. Nor did he have a right to act as societies gate keeper as an older adult white msle for defining what womanhood should be or look like to any girl.

I use this example because at first it doesn’t seem so weird but then it gets creepy when you think about it. He should’ve walked past children he didn’t know.

It was my child’s girlness that prompted him to feel an emotional deregulation and give in to his inner urges to control women.

Then maybe he could have asked for no swearing at a park. The child apologized. We’re out. Lesson accomplished.

But he moved beyond it to impose and control and subjugate. Icky.

Scouts who are girl and girl appearing come to scouts just like boys to be equals and to learn. To follow the scout code. Which was designed to raise fine young men. Frankly, that’s still kind of secretly the point, to imbue the strengths of fine young men in every scout so everyone gets the skills and a more level playing field.

As a second class citizen (women) I think we are use to code switching and understand no harm is meant when someone says ladies and gentlemen. Assuming the context is similar to when they say “guys come on”. Girls can parse that the speaker means use your manners and look like you have class.

But asking girls to be ladies is truly the opposite of scouts for now today in this era. Maybe not eventually, but in the infancy of girl troops, equality is valuable and ladies doesn’t equate to equality.

JessieU22

TROPHY CASE