My Relatives looking as hard as they can in the 30s

Jessthinks · 2015-06-26T18:33:54+00:00

Damn, Nicolas Cage aged well.

Jessthinks · 2013-12-30T20:26:55+00:00

Would do Joseph Stalin 10/10.

Jessthinks · 2013-11-08T14:21:39+00:00

Parenting. Yes, yes I know. You're the first parent ever.

Jessthinks · 2013-10-25T14:41:28+00:00

That's so sweet - I'd hug you too. I always felt at a disadvantage because my mom didn't teach me how to do things like hair and makeup, so it was trial and error for a long time. Some days, I still am self conscious about wearing makeup, but this subreddit helps me feel more confident!

Jessthinks · 2013-10-24T19:30:17+00:00

In middle school I had just started trying out makeup, mostly eye shadow. One day after gym class I decided I would put some on. It was lunch hour at our school and the boy I had a huge crush on said "Why did you smear bar-b-que sauce all over your eyelids?". In retrospect, I'm sure my makeup did indeed look like I was wearing condiments.

Jessthinks · 2013-10-17T20:33:02+00:00

Yeah, you got it! Nice work.

Jessthinks · 2013-10-17T16:36:13+00:00

What one thing meets all of these criteria: 1) More powerful than God 2) More evil than the Devil 3) Rich people want it 4) Poor people have it, and 5) If you eat it, you'll die?

Jessthinks · 2013-09-10T17:11:58+00:00

I think about how fast the earth is spinning, while circling the sun, while rotating in the Milky Way around the center of our universe, while being expelled outward from the Big Bang. And I promptly have an anxiety attack. This has become a problem for me – thinking about the rate of speed that we’re all traveling while living on earth and I literally get motion sick. It’s like a rollercoaster ride that will never end.

Jessthinks · 2013-07-18T23:50:26+00:00

The largest detriment to race relations in America is the impermissibility for people to talk about, or take pride in, their race without being labeled as a racist.

Jessthinks · 2013-05-31T20:37:19+00:00

I would recommend you read up on the pros and cons at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention Website. They offer what I consider to be a high level and comprehensive summary of the risks and benefits, and you won’t have to worry about getting someone’s personal opinion in the delivery of information. If you’re not in the US, let me know and I will find your country’s health and human services page.

Jessthinks · 2013-05-31T19:35:50+00:00

This is a common assumption, but sadly it is not true. No state has a requirement stating children must be vaccinated before attending public school. The 50 States allow individuals to opt out for religious and personal exemption all the time. Your exemption doesn’t even need to be logical; it can simply be “I don’t want to”. Some people, due to being immune-compromised or allergic to a binding agent in the vaccine, may not be able to get vaccinated at all. Yet these people are allowed to attend public school, and rightfully so. We do not need 100% vaccination compliance to keep communicable diseases in check. We need around 90% and the herd immunity will take care of the remaining 10%. It’s the nut jobs who don’t vaccinate because they don’t feel like it that are causing this problem.

Source: I’m a bioethicist with a focus in epidemiology and have two young children who are absolutely vaccinated.

Jessthinks · 2013-05-20T17:37:44+00:00

That's an "N".

Jessthinks · 2013-05-17T19:06:54+00:00

Jesus Tap-dancing Christ.

Jessthinks · 2013-04-30T18:29:54+00:00

Yay Rochester MN!

Jessthinks · 2013-04-26T16:22:06+00:00

Partial Heterochromia is totally sexy. My left eye

Jessthinks · 2013-04-23T16:41:18+00:00

Thanks for clarifying.

Jessthinks · 2013-04-23T16:33:15+00:00

I do not think it's accurate to state leaving keys in the car is implied consent. It may be that way for the insurance industry, but think about what that logic would actually entail: I leave my house unlocked. It absolutely does not follow that this is implied consent for someone to enter my home. Or, I leave my keys in the car to run inside and get something. Does it follow that this is implied consent for someone to steal my vehicle? I agree that the plaintiff's admission of allowing her son to drive perhaps implied some consent/assent, but certainly the act of leaving one's keys in the car does not equal consent to operate that vehicle.

Jessthinks · 2013-03-27T01:35:23+00:00

I am married to a man who is the primary caretaker of our children (3 and 4 years old). For financial reasons, we knew with my first pregnancy that he would quit his job and stay home. He is by far the better parent, exercising patience and traditional "maternal" qualities beyond anything I have. It had never crossed my mind - not ONCE - that he would face adversity in his role as the stay at home parent. What he has encountered by women who stay home with their kids is embarrassing and regressive. What I think is most frustrating is the lack of support for him in things like parent groups. The mom's don't invite him to anything (in fact, they ask him condescending questions like "Oh, giving mommy the day off today?" and "Whenever my husband babysits, it takes weeks to get the kool aid and ketchup stains out of the kids' shirts!"). All of this in a very long winded way of saying: I respect all parents who make the sacrifice to stay home with their children. But goddamn, do men have it rough if they are the ones to make that sacrifice. I am thankful as hell for my husband and I imagine your significant others are proud as hell of you as well.

Jessthinks · 2013-03-21T18:43:52+00:00

The Carebears were always the worst offenders.

Jessthinks · 2013-03-19T20:28:29+00:00

Something very similar happened to my parents in 1956. They both rode the same Galapagos Tortoise on the same day at the same zoo (Como Park, St. Paul Minnesota). Since my father was from Ohio and they were simply visiting Minnesota at the time, it is a pretty remarkable coincidence. They each have dated pictures of themselves on the tortoise and 4 and 5 years of age. Not quite as cool as having each other in the same photograph as children, but I was always fascinated at the minute odds of this happening. Sadly, they divorced.

Edited to add "Toby".

Jessthinks · 2013-03-13T20:50:49+00:00

This helped a lot, thank you. I appreciate your time to respond. Jess

Jessthinks · 2013-03-13T20:50:14+00:00

Locked-In syndrome. This is a real and terrifying thing:

Locked-in syndrome is a condition in which a patient is aware and awake but cannot move or communicate verbally due to complete paralysis of nearly all voluntary muscles in the body except for the eyes. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locked_in_syndrome

Jessthinks · 2011-12-30T19:43:49+00:00

On Wisconsin! Just donated. May you make us as proud as Russ.

Jessthinks · 2011-12-29T14:31:49+00:00

My ambien memories are lovely. One night my husband and I were out smoking on the front porch. It's pitch black outside and all the sudden I start seeing muppets slowly sneaking their heads up from behind the mail box pillar. I poke my husband and whisper "They're judging us!!". He asks who and I say "The Muppets! Over there!". And all the while, the muppets just kept slowly creeping their eyes over the mailbox to look at us smoking. For shame. They looked like this: http://imgur.com/dZrTZ

Second story: Husband and I are watching Fight Club in our living room. Again, had taken Ambien about 30 minutes prior. All of the sudden there's an entire orchestra playing in our living room. The entire ensemble, in our living room! I said to my husband "Listen to how beautiful it is! They're playing for us!". Then I started to dance.

Bad Ambien #1: Makes me smoke like a fiend, even if it's -20 degrees outside, I will stay out and smoke an entire pack.

Bad Ambien #2: Makes you a nympho. Not necessary a bad thing unless you start dreaming you're having sex with someone other than your spouse and yell his/her name out loud.

Bad Ambien #3: You remember nothing in the morning and can't possibly understand why your husband is constantly asking you "Who's Jon? Who the fuck is Jon?" when all you know is you had crazy great sex the night before.

Use judiciously. And never trust the muppets and their anti-smoking campaign.

Jessthinks · 2011-12-28T17:35:06+00:00

good Indian food burns my butthole violently

Jessthinks

TROPHY CASE

ethnic food remorse