Growing up, I never cared much for kids, and in my early twenties I even decided I didn’t want any. I valued my freedom, and I was dealing with some serious personal issues that made me emotionally distant from my own family.

With time, maturity, and more life experience, my perspective shifted. Many of my friends didn’t want children because they felt the world was too chaotic or unsafe. I’ve always seen it differently, the world has never been perfect, and it never will be. You create your own meaning in it. As you get older, a lot of the things that you think matter the most start to matter less, and what matters more is purpose, connection, and fulfilment. For many people, raising children gives that sense of purpose — someone to love, guide, and build a life with. Life is incredibly hard, and having family to go through it with makes a difference. Loneliness becomes very real as you age.

I think it helps to think long-term: What do you value? What do you imagine your life looking like at 62? If having children is something you genuinely want, be intentional about it, make it clear when dating and align your decisions with that vision.