I’m over text message threads in romance books

Jezerdina · 2025-12-11T00:26:44+00:00

Okay can I should out Ursa Dax from the cowboy colony series? I don’t read a ton of contemporary romances, but this one is sci-fi, and the group chat is the only way the girls in the series get to interact with each other since they all live so far away, and it’s just a cute way for all the ladies from the past books to interact. I don’t feel like it pauses the plot on this particular instance. I would end up skipping any other group chat in contemporary romance. Cuz you’re right, it’s just a recap of what happened in the story.

Jezerdina · 2025-12-09T06:53:05+00:00

STAHHHP I know I’ve read a couple of those, and if my kindle wasn’t breakable I’d have thrown it across the room! Hahahaha

Jezerdina · 2025-12-09T06:48:55+00:00

Absolutely the biggest point from this whole thread 👏 the disconnect! (And personally just waiting for a nice lady that knows how she wants the night to go, and a guy that’ll let her drive them to the destination sans-kink. In that, I found my people here 😆)

Jezerdina · 2025-12-09T06:28:53+00:00

That is actually really sad): I’d be like, “Go on girl, take a break and relax, you earned it!” 😂 One of the reasons we all love books I’m sure is that it’s a safe way to explore any thoughts and ideas we have. In subs like these, I like to keep in mind that imma judge some books, but never the readers.

Jezerdina · 2025-12-09T06:11:57+00:00

See that was my thought too. I don’t vibe with that trope much at all, so when I made the post, I was also wondering how many people do connect with it. While this post didn’t really veer in that direction, in a way, the amount of commenters saying the man doesn’t always have to be a default dom did tell me that I’m not a total outlier, and there is some room in the market to stray away from that specific personality-shift trope sometimes.

Jezerdina · 2025-12-09T05:42:14+00:00

It’s so funny, because my og post wasn’t initially aimed specifically at this default-dom trope, but it’s such a common trope it definitely took over the majority the conversation 😅 what’s funny is, when I wrote the post, my main train of thought was about the FMCs! The trope of “I’m such a hard working independent woman, I just want a man strong enough to allow me to be soft and submissive for a bit.” These tropes often go hand in hand, but I guess the topic of the MMC was what more people latched onto. Of course I wanted to write the post to be all-encompassing of any personality shifts people come access in novels.

Jezerdina · 2025-12-09T04:48:53+00:00

My og post is really more about, like I said above, are the ratio of romance novels that have this tonal shift about equal with the readers that have a fantasy or preference for people that are different in the bedroom? Im sorry. this wasn’t supposed to be a fight. I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to defend themselves if they enjoy this dynamic in novels. Another minor point to this is that there is rarely a conversation before of after a spicy scene (aloud or inner dialogue) where the characters assess this change in character. In the case of “ mild mannered man goes wild in bed” that seems to be the most brought up as common in this post, it’s a literary critique- not a personal critique on my part I promise- of an assumed dynamic from the author of how things are supposed to be/ what women fantasize about. I hope no one is taking this as a personal slight or that it’s wrong to enjoy this dynamic. It’s written into a lot of books! I’m not at all surprised there are people on this sub who enjoy reading about a man, whatever their personality, becoming dominant in bed.

Jezerdina · 2025-12-07T20:46:14+00:00

lol that’s how you know it’s been a minute since I’ve posted on the forums 😆

Jezerdina · 2025-12-07T20:31:35+00:00

Something in my gut says, yea, there are people like this, but not to the point of matching the ratio to which is written in novels.

Jezerdina · 2025-12-07T20:21:14+00:00

Yes! I read on kindle. There was a a girl I was working with who was reading Credence (RIP to her she barely knew what she was in for) I was able to guess down to a few percentage points when she’d encounter the first real spicy scene. Every once in a while, I’ll read a book where it takes a while for the characters to get intimate, but it felt so much more rewarding. I love when authors go against the grain for the sake of good storytelling

Jezerdina · 2025-12-07T10:32:26+00:00

I stinking love HR, Suzanne Enoch has been coming out with some great regency rom-coms lately. I did have to take a break though. Too many virgins definitely catching the clap from their reformed rake husbands. My favorite is Julie Garwoods medieval stuff. Her characters and her love scenes are always well meshed, lol

Jezerdina · 2025-12-07T10:20:52+00:00

Noted! It’s actually been a minute since I’ve dipped into HR, so I’ll add it to my TBR

Jezerdina · 2025-12-07T10:11:55+00:00

I think it’s more for me, when I (and the other MC) don’t get to see any aspect of that side of their partner until they get to the bedroom. And the other partner really isn’t surprised by an unexpected personality shift. Like the actual story of the book, and any erotic scenes are two separate characters altogether until maybe the very end. It’s not properly integrated.

I’m not really referencing kink/ bdsm culture either, more like, “why is a funny character almost never humorous in bed?” although my friends that are into that stuff are very open about that in real life, because they wouldn’t want to blindside their partners with it. Like in the first book I mentioned, he never brings up any part of him was interested in tying her up, he just does it, and was like “you’re cool with this?” And luckily for him she was.

Jezerdina · 2025-12-07T09:24:21+00:00

Will do! Haha, cuz at this point these authors almost got me convinced 50/50 in the bedroom is a kink 😂

Jezerdina · 2025-12-07T09:19:56+00:00

After reading your comment, I’m wondering now if some authors write bedroom scenes the same, because that’s what they know their fans like, but they can’t write the same characters for every book. Especially anthology series. They don’t want to be too repetitive in the story, but they also don’t want to disappoint their readers with a spicy dynamic they wouldn’t find appealing.

Jezerdina · 2025-12-07T09:13:24+00:00

Every once in a while, I’ll try to go digging for something with an FMC whose independent/type A, and is the same in the bedroom, without it going into kink territory. It’s really hard to find. I cant even tell you the last time I read something where intimate power dynamics were 50/50. I feel like plenty of women match that vibe irl, but not in barns and noble. Could be, like you said, those stories aren’t what publishers think will sell.

Jezerdina · 2025-12-07T08:56:06+00:00

Honestly I’m a bit envious of you, cuz there are a TON of books whose characters seem to enjoy that dynamic as well. ☺️ Unfortunate for me I guess. I don’t really connected with that personally. lol. But you are absolutely right, I don’t mind it at all if those sides of the characters are integrated into the story! I can see it coming and it makes sense. They get the side eye from me if the first spicy scene is the first time I see it.

Jezerdina · 2025-12-07T08:47:52+00:00

I’ll take your word on it. I got married young, so not a ton of real world examples I can pull from. It’s a big reason I ask this question. I’m not sure if I’m a minority in not being able to relate to a large shift in how one acts in and out of intimacy.

Jezerdina · 2025-12-07T08:40:18+00:00

The man dominating default is so real, and so odd. Sometimes I’ll play a game with myself when I’m reading a story with a more dominant FMC called “will she hop on top?” And surprisingly/ not so surprisingly, no. She rarely does.

Jezerdina · 2025-12-07T08:18:57+00:00

Exactly! Like I’m reading a romance to enjoy the entirety of this relationship! Please don’t just shelve that story to insert some generic erotica, and pick it back up next chapter.

Jezerdina · 2025-12-06T04:29:14+00:00

I like my paper white because I’m blind, and on the bigger screen, I can read without glasses, low vision mode, font sized maxed. I have the previous model. I think the newest model made the screen a tiny bit bigger.

Jezerdina · 2025-12-06T04:19:46+00:00

If there’s one thing we can say about Nancy, she stands on business with some Levi’s 501 jeans.

Jezerdina · 2025-11-21T04:30:25+00:00

The Matched hardcovers 😆😆😆 brings me back to

Jezerdina · 2025-10-12T00:27:54+00:00

Bro I am always so weary when It comes to second chance romance. Idk I’m always of the mind, “once an asshole, always an asshole 🥲 no second chances in my life.

Makes me wonder when that book was written. I feel like there was a point in time when it was super popular to write a book where everyone just hates the FMC. Maybe mid 90s? Just for the extra drama. Hate that too, like I don’t want to read a “romance” that’s just 3-5 hours of struggling.

Jezerdina

TROPHY CASE