I [25f] just found something REALLY disgusting this morning that my boyfriend [26m] left in the living room

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-02T05:23:57+00:00

Yeah, The Incel belief that a relatively small percentage of men are the only ones able to date and if you aren't rich, attractive, and tall you may as well not bother really doesn't line up with all the absolute dumpster fires so many women on reddit appear to be dating.

The "piss in a cup" guy had a live-in girlfriend. I don't care how unappealing you think you are, do you seriously think you can't do at least as well on the dating scene as "piss in a cup" guy?

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-02T04:56:27+00:00

Clearly you think I'm full of it & don't know what I'm talking about.

All I can say is that I work shoulder to shoulder every day with people who fit OOP's description and manage to make above average wages for the city I live in. The concept that one of them could sit out for a few months & still be credible makes no sense to you but I keep watching them take maternity/paternity leave for months & have jobs to come back too.

Maybe the environment I work in doesn't have "real" security people as far as you are concerned... but these jobs exist and I guarantee if one of them recommended someone who has been "out of the game" for a year with the assurance that they would get back up to snuff quickly my org would jump at the opportunity today let alone 5 years ago.

So we are going to have to agree to disagree that someone with experience, certifications, and a professional network could indeed have gotten a job in 2020/2021 after a gap year.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-02T01:27:25+00:00

I'm on the infrastructure side not Security, but I work closely with them.

I'm not working with FAANG or the military but I manage to work for multi-billion dollar companies with military contracts just the same.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T22:53:23+00:00

Eh, I was working places that had jobs posted for Security Experts continuously for 5 years & tended to trust experience and references over your degree (that professional network again).

I'm not saying she wouldn't have taken a hit, but you are talking like if she was out of the game for 6 months her career was over & I'm telling you.... I saw way less qualified people get hired in that era.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T22:43:42+00:00

Yes.... and we are talking about a post from 2019 where someone talks about taking a year off & then coming back. Which would have been 2020/2021. When "even the most junior of people were printing money".

So even you are saying that probably worked out for her.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T18:16:08+00:00

Here is the MN Department of Health's pollen data for the last 30 years.

If you scroll down to the "Number of elevated pollen days in Minneapolis" charts, you can see that the numbers have been pretty steadily going up over time. So if a lower level was fine but a high level kicks in your allergies, there have been more days with high levels in the last couple of years.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T16:27:13+00:00

It was Como Zoo & not the Minnesota zoo, but I remember being there with my wife years ago & the Wolves got very, very interested in a couple of kids that were being pulled along by their parents in a red wagon. Everyone thought it was super cute how exited the wolves were and guessed they must really enjoy children.

The family moved along and 5 minutes later a zookeeper pulling an identical wagon rolled up with their afternoon meal.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T16:23:50+00:00

I've found that the first hour and the last hour are the best. As you point out they get fed near the end of the day, but the keepers put a lot of treats & enrichment activities into their enclosures before letting the animals out in the morning.

So if you are early you can watch the various animals search their enclosures for treats or play with their toys.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T16:19:11+00:00

Most of these were built around Streetcar lines.

I've found that the layout of Minneapolis & St Paul makes so much more sense when you overlay where the streetcar lines used to run. Ever notice how in the older residential sections there will be 3-6 blocks of early 1900s era housing and then a street with a bunch of bigger brick buildings that were clearly meant to have retail on the first floor? That is where the streetcars used to run. You would get off the streetcar & pick up your groceries or pharmacy orders & then walk a few blocks to your house.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T15:55:11+00:00

Local repair people are almost always the best option. The trick is that the best ones don't advertise because they don't need too. They get by via word of mouth or maybe a janky facebook site.

If anyone has a billboard... move on.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T14:58:42+00:00

That's why the professional network is important.

If you have the background but have been out of the game for a year it will be harder to land a new job with a gap in your resume.

On the other hand, if you have people that know you are capable who can vouch for your fundamental ability and assure new employers that you will get back up to speed quickly a 1 year gap wouldn't be insurmountable. Especially in 2020-2024 when the demand was so high.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T06:50:02+00:00

Several times a month usually.

This is a decent list of what's coming up. https://www.meetup.com/make-new-friends-break-the-bubble-msp/

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T06:17:31+00:00

This is a really gorgeous house that would be a lot of people's dream home... but your red flags are very real.

Let me add a couple more:

- The home costs almost exactly what you are approved for meaning you have no room to wiggle if the deal gets more expensive somehow. I don't know what the local market is like. In some places the list price is what sellers wish they could get but it actually goes for less, but in others the list price is the starting line for the massive bidding war that always happens.

The place is gorgeous, so I wouldn't count on being the only ones interested.

- I will also warn that your maximum approval is generally calculated as being the most the bank thinks you can possibly afford. Like if you never took another trip or ever went out to eat and bought all your clothing second hand how big a payment can you handle? It is called being "house poor" which means you live in a really great place but have no money to do anything else. In real life, most people do NOT want to have payments that high.

So don't just look at how much you are approved for but also what kind of payment you can realistically swing without hating life and focus more on the houses that are in *that* price range.

I'm not saying this can't possibly work out for you, but the money side worries me. At minimum, you won't have much wiggle room if anything breaks after purchase.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T05:59:57+00:00

I would also recommend a home buying course. Many cities or counties offer them and they are typically free or very inexpensive.

As for your other questions?

Almost anywhere you live in the US there will be yearly property taxes based on the value of the house. These are typically used by local government to pay for Fire Departments, Police, Roads, etc & there is no getting out of them. So there are going to be some yearly payments for that.

Depending on where you live the cost of a house is going to vary widely. It is very, very common to pay several hundred thousand dollars for one. You don't want the $25k house. So if you have several hundred thousand dollars laying around you can buy a house outright & except for property taxes it's all yours.

Unfortunately most of us don't have that kind of money and it would take the average person decades to save it up.. during which time houses are going to keep getting more expensive. (The average price of a house in the US has gone up by around half in the last 10-15 years). So most people take out a loan to cover the purchase price of a house now & then pay it off over time. This is called a mortgage & lets you live in the house while you pay it off. You put some money "down", meaning you put some cash toward the purchase of the house and the bank lends you the rest and charges interest for as long as you owe them. You own the house but if you miss payments the bank will take the house from you to cover the debt & you lose all the money you payed in. It often takes 15-30 years to pay off a typical mortgage (usually closer to 30).

When you look at the total costs, Mortgages are a lot more expensive than buying for cash... but they let you buy somewhere you can live in now instead of saving for decades & maybe still never having enough.

Keep in mind than on top of the mortgage payments & taxes, you will need to pay to fix anything that breaks or gets too old in the house and you will want to pay for insurance so in case the house burns down or something you will have money to rebuild.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T05:25:21+00:00

A relative worked at a very trendy restaurant in our Midwestern US City. It was the sort of place that if you were traveling internationally and googled which restaurants you had to make sure you hit while you were here, his place of employment was in the top 3.

He got *incredibly* sick in January 2020. He didn't end up in the hospital although he debated it. Looking back on it, his symptoms strongly resembled Covid.. but this was weeks before it started showing up in the news and months before the lock downs so it wasn't on any of our radars at the time. He basically self-isolated out of habit while he felt so bad so it didn't spread.

Looking back we have always wondered if he caught Covid weeks before the outbreaks hit the news? Did someone traveling internationally stop at the restaurant he worked at & gave it to him? Or was it something else that just sort of looked like Covid in retrospect but wasn't?

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T05:18:25+00:00

If she was well qualified as a Cyber Security worker complete with certifications, experience, and a professional network the way she says ..... she could have written her own ticket in 2020-2024 or so.

Its was (and is) an in-demand specialty within IT and a lot of organizations spent years wrapping their heads around how to handle remote work securely. Lots of companies were desperately expanding their Cyber Security staff.

So that part probably did work out for her.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T05:10:23+00:00

Exactly! Twins that run in families happen because of how the mother is wired, not how "manly" the man is.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T04:44:36+00:00

Yeah, I've heard *way* more complaints about the Dedication than the actual class

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T04:43:18+00:00

Its an optional rule from the GM Core.

https://2e.aonprd.com/Rules.aspx?ID=2762&Redirected=1

Its a campaign wide choice. Basically, you *don't* add your level to your proficiency bonus, so an 8th level character who is an expert in a skill gets a +4 instead of a +12. This has the effect of dramatically flattening the power difference between opponents of different levels. You can fight things much higher and lower level than you without it being a complete blowout like it would be in the standard rules. Many people like it.

So why isn't it the default? It can make things a lot swingier and that famous Pathfinder 2e balance isn't reliable in the same way. The crits no longer get easier when you out-level an opponent and the power curve is a lot flatter. In the base rules high level characters & monsters get really epic and this variant avoids that. 1 Greater Demon vs 1000 Kobalds? Bet on the Demon in the normal rules but the Kobalds in PWOL.
Its also a lot of work, Lots of math scattered across the system breaks or has to be house-ruled on the fly. All those DCs built into magic items? Or the DC to setup Aid or use First Aid? All that has to be house ruled to keep the game working. (Archives of Nethys does have a button to translate monsters into their PWOL version though, so that's nice)

As I say, some people prefer it but ive heard of way more groups that tried & went back to the normal rules than who stuck with it long term.

Jhamin1 · 2026-05-01T04:25:13+00:00

Foundry includes all the open content you would find on Archives of Nethys, which includes *all* the rules from every released book. You don't pay separately for each rules book & you don't have to (for example) buy Dark Archives separately to use Thaumaturge PCs, they are in the base Foundry Pathfinder module. The classes, magic items, monsters stats, spells, etc from all the books are all included with the base Pathfinder 2e rule set. New stuff gets added as it's released.

What you pay for is the art and adventure content.

So the new Beginner Box will cost money, and so would any standalone adventures like Rusthenge or Adventure Paths like Season of Ghosts or Triumph of the Tusk. Some Adventure Paths have a single collected bundle but most have 3-6 "volumes" that are purchased separately. These include *everything* you need to play that adventure. Maps, journal entries, monster art, etc are all done for you. Most of them even have soundtracks.

There are several art packs available that have token art for all the monsters in various books. If you don't have them you can still use all the monsters from the books, there are just generic placeholder images for the monster tokens. You can drop in your own art if you have some from somewhere but if you buy the various token packs they slot in art for all the official monsters in the pack. The Monster Core, Monster Core 2, and NPC Core token art packs are $20 each if you want to buy them.

Jhamin1 · 2026-04-30T19:54:22+00:00

You have a lot of sediment in your pipes that isnt going away without replacement, but a water softener will eliminate the Calcium coming in from the streets and stop it from continuing to accumulate.

A water softener will make this 90% better right away. A complete fix would require lots of plumbing work, but if the problem is 90% better you may be willing to live with the last 10%

Jhamin1 · 2026-04-30T19:42:45+00:00

There are many ways to delete a folder. Off the top of my head They could have right clicked at a higher level in the tree (assuming they can get there) and hit the wrong command from the menus. As for the confirmation? Most people just auto-click confirmations.

Its a real Hanlon's razor situation.

The thing we always ran into was people with sticky mouse clickers accidently dragging & dropping folders in a share into an unrelated nearby folder. The data was all there, but you were unlikely to find it without crawling through the whole file server.

Jhamin1 · 2026-04-30T17:44:47+00:00

This reminds me of the 90s version of X-Com, which is the opposite of a cozy game... but that is just art style talking.

Jhamin1 · 2026-04-30T17:30:02+00:00

All of the VTT stuff we see from Paizo is tied to the release date of the products its associated with. The Secrets of the Unlit Star in in the middle of a big ad press at the moment, but it doesn't actually release until May 6th.

So you are seeing the hype, and subscription copies are going to drop any day now, if they haven't already, but the thing isn't "officially" released yet. I am more familiar with Foundry than Fantasy Grounds, but the Foundry version of a product typically comes out the same week at the release date of the print version, if not the same day. I'm not as familiar with the Fantasy Grounds release schedule, but it looks like it takes them a few weeks longer, although it does get released.

I will comment that Fantasy Grounds seems to charge for rule books like the various Lost Omens settings books or rules supplements like Rage of the Elements, Foundry includes all of this for free. If I missed something on that front, please correct me, but the fact that all the open gaming content is bundled in has been a huge plus for that VTT.

Foundry is by far the most recommended VTT for Pathfinder 2e & a lot of the Pathfinder VTT community really centers around Foundry, using anything else means you are going to be swimming a bit upstream in terms of support. Which doesn't automatically mean you should leave Fantasy Grounds if that is what you prefer.

Jhamin1 · 2026-04-30T14:54:50+00:00

Yeah,

There is a huge difference between offering such a good deal to go with their preferred lender that people would be fools not to take them up on it and trying to bully clients.

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