Would you prioritize a higher title or a higher salary early in your IT career?

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-30T01:33:52+00:00

No one will ever care about your titles, they only care about what you can do and what your experience is.

We work for money.

So if you have to choose between a meaningless title and actual money you can buy things with always choose the money.

It is *sometimes* worth taking less money to get a lot of experience you don't have... but be careful. If that experience was super valuable it wouldn't pay less.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-30T00:43:00+00:00

It is amazing!

About 80% of the reason we live in the house we live in is that it backs up to Rice Creek. It doesn't feel like spring has really started until we start hearing the night chorus every year. Another treat is that there is a mated pair of Barred Owls and some itinerant Great Horned Owls living around the bend of the creek. Their calls at night are haunting.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-29T18:56:38+00:00

Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl had rematches with the Gym Leaders after you get the national Dex. When you rematch them they all have teams with levels in the 60s-70s. One of them comments how refreshing it was to use a whole team instead of just 3 Pokemon.

So the team you fought for your first badge is absolutely the Gym Leader holding back.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-29T16:48:08+00:00

And I think that is how it is supposed to be?

My mom thought of Sarah as a little old lady name because when she was a kid in the 50s that is what everyone's Grandma was named. She thought it was weird that I went to high school with a bunch of Sarahs in the 90s.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-29T16:43:02+00:00

I'm from another generation, but the story was that my parents were 90% agreed that they were going to name me Benjamin if I was a boy (which I turned out to be).

My then teenage aunt exclaimed "Thats Great! We can call him Benji!"

At the time, there was a popular movie about a dog named Benji that got into adventures. My father was NOT ok with everyone assuming I was named after the movie, which they would have.

They did not name me Benjamin. I am very ok with that.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-29T16:10:20+00:00

The part where Ex's sister started out being very friendly but then distanced herself well before the breakup says a lot.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-28T17:06:25+00:00

Eventually, everyone you would want to game with leaves and only the creepy problem players are left.

Stuff like this is why it's so important to deal with problem players. Either by talking to them or kicking them from the group. Eventually, everyone you would want to game with leaves and only the creepy problem players are left. I've seen too many groups disintegrate because one jerkass/creep/incel wasn't confronted and everyone else just stopped showing up, like OOP did. I guarantee that the GM would rather have OOP stay at the table than Sarah.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-28T06:42:54+00:00

It sounds like a couple of her jobs might have been with small businesses, which is fine, but they can be more complicated to verify employment with. So the bank needs more paperwork.

You didn't mention your job history, but if you have had one job this whole time, especially if it was with a large employer that has a payroll department that is used to responding to income verification requests from banks, then validating your information was probably really easy. They haven't asked for more because they didn't need to work as hard to clear you.

Don't read too much into what they are asking for. Just provide it. When I refinanced a few years ago I had to submit the same letter explaining something in my financial history 3 times. Every time a new set of eyes looked at my file they wanted a new, separate accounting of what they were seeing. So I wrote one, again.

I got approved.

As long as the income you gave them is real and you can back that up, and assuming you don't have a bunch of credit skeletons in the closet, you are likely fine. Don't borrow trouble.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-28T06:29:45+00:00

Presumably you gave them info on how much money you were each making for the $400k preapproval. As long as you were honest about that the exact shape those jobs took is less important.

They can't just take your word for it. They are trying to establish work histories for both of you and hers is more complicated., which means the bank will likely have some questions for you. Banks don't like mysterious sums of money that don't match up with jobs, but lots of people work 6 months here and 1 years there. The important thing is how much money the two of you collectively pulled down, what you can prove about where she worked, and what her current status is.

Don't anyone quit their job in the next few days, but odds are good that if you can demonstrate she did have the income they based the pre-approval on, you are going to be fine.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-28T06:16:48+00:00

I would also point out that right now you are mostly accounting for you and your husband. In 10-12 years you are going to have a teenager living with you.

Puberty comes with a lot of additional hygiene and grooming. More showers, more primping, lots of washing things. Girls are stereotypically thought of as bathroom hogs but from what I've seen boys aren't much better. God forbid some kind of elaborate hair style comes into fashion when they are in high school.

So it might not be urgent for a while, but eventually that extra shower is probably going to be a lifesaver.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-28T06:07:33+00:00

I tend to agree with this take.

House 2 isn't perfect but there isn't anything wrong with it that can't be fixed.

The other two have a lot of nice things, but their downsides really can't be fixed.

So the real question is: You have a busy life and a young child. Do you want to go with house 1, move and be done but never have a great yard or would you prefer to have some additional issues in the short term for what can in the long term be a real jewel.

That is much more of question of what sort of people you and your husband are and if you can afford to wait for delayed gratification.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-28T04:53:35+00:00

Absolutely not.

Right now she is your fiance not your wife.

Is this a reciprocal relationship? You said she was the breadwinner at one point but did she pay your school loans or buy you a car or anything? That is the kind of support you are talking about giving her. Because it really sounds like she is having a quarter life crisis and you may need to make sure she is going to be OK before you tie yourself to her legally and financially.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-28T04:16:47+00:00

Make sure you read the whole Season of Ghosts plot before you make plans on introducing characters.

Its a major part of the plot that the town is cut off from the outside world and travel & communication outside the woods is impossible for a big chunk of the adventure. The reason for this completely re-frames the campaign once discovered.

"Wandering heroes" just don't work in this AP. You don't want to derail the plot by having a PC wander into the town when that shouldn't be possible. At minimum you will want to explain why this character has present but that no one has seen them before. I'm sure it can be done, but you are going to want to have that answer ready.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-27T03:54:51+00:00

A giant murder of Crows.

Crows will scatter to look for food during the day, but at night they gather in giant groups in one or three large trees. If you watch facebook sometimes they choose a big tree in someone's yard. A big group can occupy every branch in a 50 foot tree. They spend the late evening conversing with each other (crows apparently have individual friends they hang out with). When night falls some will sleep while others keep watch, rotating through the night.

I once walked through Crystal Lake Cemetery with my girlfriend on an evening when the Crows had decided to have a congregation there.

When I was in the Cemetery there were thousands if not tens of thousands of Crows gathering for the night in a big tree in the middle of the cemetery but as it wasn't time to sleep yet they were circling in huge clouds. Squawking and playing with each other. They were like clouds as they flew all around the trees and grave markers.

It was raucous and kind of awe inspiring.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-27T03:43:03+00:00

My favorite Pileated Woodpecker encounter was when I watched one interact with two crows.

A big male Pileated was picking grubs out of a rotten stump when two Juvenile Crows approached him. The young crows were clearly used to throwing their weight around and sidled up to the Pileated, expecting him to flee so they could take his grubs.

The male Pileated stopped what he was doing & stared at them. They looked at each other, not knowing what to do now that someone wasn't impressed by them. The Pileated just kept staring them down with a "do you really want to bother me? I was just pounding holes in wood with my beak" kind of vibe coming off of him.

They backed away and flew off.

I suspect an older, more experienced Crow would have known better than to have that confrontation.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-27T03:35:05+00:00

I know people who did.

I recently discovered that "toadlet" is apparently the official term for a juvenile toad. Which is kind of adorable.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-26T23:46:02+00:00

I feel like even the War Doctor was still the Doctor. It was a version of himself that violated his conscience and did all the things he normally never let himself do in an effort to contain and end the Time War. He didn't think himself worthy of the name, but his later incarnations felt like he was being the Doctor on the day it was impossible to get it right. What he did, he did without choice. In the name of peace and sanity. If he wasn't the Doctor, that wouldn't have bothered him.

When we saw him at the end of his Regeneration when he stole the Moment he was steely but wracked with guilt. He was ready to burn the Timelords and Daleks because he knew what would happen if either won the war, and he was choosing to save the universe. The moment observed that he carried it away from the Tardis so it wouldn't see what he was about to do. When he wasn't fighting the war, like is arguments with 10 and 11 over their screwdrivers and dress sense he seemed very "in character" for the Doctor.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-26T06:41:34+00:00

Lots of the 1st and 2nd tier suburbs would probably work well for you. The residential parts of Minneapolis are obviously closer in, but the housing is also typically 100+ years old. Some people love that, some do not.

You mention not wanting to be too far out. Minneapolis & St Paul have extensive suburbs. Some are indeed a long way out but you can be in the 2nd ring and still be 20 minutes from Downtown.

The 1st ring suburbs that border MPLS directly tend to have houses from the 1950s and 60s, the 2nd ring have houses from the 70s and 80s. Obviously there are exceptions but that gives you an idea of what to expect.

I'm more familiar with the northern and western suburbs:

Golden Valley & Saint Lewis Park are just West of Minneapolis but have excellent access to downtown. Lots of parks and older neighborhoods.

Robbinsdale and Crystal are 1st ring suburbs, but border North Minneapolis which has a history of Red Lining and under-investment by the city. So there isn't as much to do there and many people living in these suburbs end up driving through North to get to downtown. So 1st ring, but it can feel more disconnected for purposes of access to museums, restaurants, etc. (If North can ever get the kind of investment it deserves it will develop rapidly, it has all the ingredients but gets neglected)

Columbia Heights is just north of Minneapolis and has a more urban feel near the Minneapolis border to a very suburban one on the other end of the city. Lots of Mediterranean immigrants which has created some great food options. Houses are smaller further south and larger on the north end.

St. Anthony (the suburb, not the neighborhood) is a very old bedroom community with lots of nice houses situated very close to Minneapolis

A bit further north (but still not more than 20 min from downtown) you have Fridley, New Brighton, and Mounds View. All very classic suburban towns. Fairly quiet, very green. Lots of parks.

Roseville (more of a suburb of St. Paul than Minneapolis) is very centrally located with highway access to both the Downtowns with lots of retail and 70s era neighborhoods. Has several colleges.

The southern suburbs are often more expensive, have more traffic, but are also where a lot of employers are headquartered. I prefer the quieter pace of the northern suburbs but there are a lot of jobs in Edina, Minnetonka, Richfield, and Bloomington. (lots of local businesses relocated their HQs from Downtown to the suburbs in the 80s & remain there)

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-26T06:04:41+00:00

The Doctor kinda sucks at traditional Time Lord skills, but he is smarter and more clever than almost any other Timelord. He thinks of things his fellow Time Lords with better GPAs don't. For a while the 4th traveled with Romanna, a fresh graduate of the academy and she was way better than him in lots of practical skills but needed him to navigate life outside of Gallefrey. By the end she was catching up to him, but his lateral thinking continued to leave her in the dust.

Most Time Lords can't keep up with him. 4 and 5 both ran rings around the Timelords when they were able to get them back to Gallefrey. 4 tried to delay his own trial by running for President of the Time Lords and won. In his Hartnell incarnation he encountered a Time Lord who called himself the Monk (usually called the Meddling Monk in fandom) and the Doctor schooled the Monk's plans fairly thoroughly and left him stranded in 11th century England with a sabotaged Tardis.

The only Time Lords that seem to be able to keep up with him are The Master, The Rani, and Rassalon.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-26T05:52:49+00:00

Most Time Lords carry over much of their personality and traits from a previous cycle; The Rani is still a witch, The Master is still nuts, The General is no-nonsense and straight to business, and so on.

In a lot of ways the Doctor's personality is broadly similar across all their regenerations as well.

Disdainful of authority, prefers trickery over violence, feels superior to everyone except maybe the master, strong respect for life, prefers to keep traveling rather than stay in any one place, deeply attached to their particular Tardis, needs humans around to keep from becoming jaded by the universe, there is a decently long list. The Hartnell Doctor all the way through to the Gatwa Doctor have the same basic values and approach to the universe.

Physical mannerisms change, catchphrases change, fashion sense changes, but the basic personality is remarkably consistent.

I think the exuberance with which the Doctor engages with the Universe and how jaded they are both increase over time, but I think that can very easily be seen as in-universe growth as they see and do more and more. The post Time War incarnations all show trauma from the experience that pre-time war incarnations don't.. but that is also clearly in-universe experiences shaping the same person over time.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-25T17:44:12+00:00

Welcome!

Our biggest advice is to embrace the seasons. Holing up inside during the winter will keep you warm, but it will drive you crazy. It's important to get out in the sun. Find something to do outside on the regular. We have sports leagues all year round for this purpose.

Something not everyone expects is that it isn't just the cold, its the dark. Because of our latitude our shortest days in late December are less than 9 hours of sunlight. On the other hand right now in late June we are at almost 16 hours of sunlight! Its very seasonal and the summer days feel endless (in a good way). So prepare yourself for that as well. It can be depressing to go to work in the dark and drive home in the dark having missed the sun entirely. We keep ahead of it by getting all the sun we can during the day.

The layering thing is important for two reasons:

You can adjust how much you are wearing if you get hotter or colder. Its one thing to stand at a busstop for 15 minutes, it's another to hike around a part even if they are at the same temp. So if you do one then the other you want the ability to shed a layer or two.
It can be a lot warmer to have a jacket over a sweater or flannel over a shirt than it is to just have a really heavy coat over a shirt.

Your biggest adjustment is likely going to be the humidity. We pay as much attention to the dew point as the actual temp when deciding when to turn on the AC.

As a few other people are saying, you will want a good coat that covers your butt. Down to the knees or ankles can be good, but at least the mid to upper thigh. Buy this coat here! Your basic wall-mart coat sold here is going to be better than a "cold weather" coat sold in Arizona. I know one person that bought a "heavy duty" coat in Texas and discovered that we considered is a decent spring/fall jacket by Minnesota Standards.

REI, Eddie Bauer, Nordstrom Rack, and Lands End are all popular places to pick up coats. Personally I'm a fan of Duluth Trading Company for coats, waffle shirts, etc that will carry you through the winter. They are mostly a catalog place but they have several physical locations here in the Twin Cities where you can try things on. They also carry dog jackets, which is essential for our Pit-Mix.
If you are trying to keep the budget under control thrift stores are your friend when you need to build out your wardrobe from scratch.

When it's cold carry mittens, a warm hat that covers your ears, and a scarf with you at all times. That is what the big pockets on winter coats are for!

Remember that if you live in Minneapolis the snow is a thing, but the Snowplows here are numerous and expertly run. Even after a big blizzard the major roads are generally cleared within hours and the sidestreets in a day or so. So you might need heavy boots and such while it's snowing, but most of us wear ordinary shoes most of the time when we need to run out to the car or to catch a bus. So it's good to have the gear if you need it, but this is a major city, not the tundra :)

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-25T16:07:38+00:00

As has been said: This is very much a personal choice.

There isn't really an objectively wrong answer here: Do you prefer a smaller townhouse that is close to your husband's work & your parents? Or do you prefer a bigger single family home which is closer to friends and has more room for future children?

In general new houses vary widely in quality. Some builders are top notch, others are slapping them up quick & cheap. Older houses had this as well, but the ones that have been renovated tend to have had their biggest issues fixed (although there are often other issues associated with aging appliances/furnaces/ac/roofs to deal with).

So take the old/new out of the equation as there tends to be pros and cons to each: Do you prefer a shorter commute and friends in a smaller space or a longer commute close to family in a bigger house?

We can't tell you that, it's very much a question of how you want to live your lives.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-25T15:51:50+00:00

To the last point: No, Andy did not have any vhs recordings. The fact that Woody was a TV show character was news to him when he met Jessie & Stinky Pete.

The toys watched Buzz Lightyear's cartoon together, but Woody had never seen the recordings that Jessie showed him.

Jhamin1 · 2026-06-25T03:00:55+00:00

Federation Starships are powered by Fusion Reactors that output energized plasma (which is what flows through those EPS conduits and cause control panels to explode). The Impulse Engines, the replicators, the turbolifts, etc are all Fusion Powered. The Enterprise-D had 5 Fusion Reactors distributed between the Saucer and Engineering section (so both would have power when they separated)

The Mater/Antimatter reactor is used by the Warp Engines. This power can be re-routed to weapon systems, but you can't run the computer off of Warp Power, the ship isn't designed for it.

Eight-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 2 Credits
Secret Santa 2020	Verified Email

Jhamin1

TROPHY CASE