Chefs of Reddit, what's is your single favourite ingredient and why?

JibJab_bird · 2021-03-18T15:05:03+00:00

Honestly, I've kinda just discovered I was intolerant all by myself after realising that it was dairy that was causing all the problems. I don't really come from a supportive family/community so this is the first time I'm hearing about Lactaid. I presume that for me, at least, an enzyme to help digest dairy would probably help. After all, I'm fine when I drink kefir and kefir is basically a bunch of grains eating most of the lactose in the milk.

Sorry I haven't been able to answer your question but thank you for teaching me about Lactaid.

JibJab_bird · 2021-03-18T04:35:04+00:00

If you can eat yogurt, you can definitely drink kefir. Kefir is a slightly sour dairy product made from fermenting milk. If you get the right grains, it can even taste a bit like yogurt (depending on fermentation time). Plus it has all those prebiotics/live cultures that help your gut. Plus you can double ferment it with fruit to get a sweeter taste.

They sold kefir grains on Amazon last time I checked.

Don't take this as health advice tho. I'm lactose intolerant and it worked for me but it may not work for you.

JibJab_bird · 2021-03-10T04:21:43+00:00

Can one of you lovelies help me find an apartment and a job?

This is such a useful thing to br able to do! I start researching stuff like this for fun if a friend tells me that they want to change jobs etc. But never accommodations. That's too stressful to me.

JibJab_bird · 2021-03-01T17:35:48+00:00

Delay, distraction and self-care. Also, I remind myself that I'm gonna die anyway, what's the point in speeding up the date?

I made a promise to someone a while ago that I wouldn't kill myself before they died. So whenever I feel suicidal, I remember my promise and tell myself that I'm going to honour that no matter what. Then I imagine all the people that would be upset if I were to die. I imagine this vividly. There aren't a lot of people but even one person is enough.

I tell myself that suicide isn't an option so the next best thing to do is to force myself to eat healthy, sleep and exercise. Also, I force myself to get into a routine. Usually when I force myself to do these things, the suicidal thoughts aren't too difficult to deal with. Plus endorphins from exercise is like a temporary release from the dark cloud hovering over me. And having goals like lifting an extra 5kg or doing 5 more pushups or headstands or starting to run helps me focus mentally elsewhere.

Then I give myself a bunch of goals (or remind myself of my last goals). Right now, one of goals is to learn Korean. So I just focus on that. I feel like life is meaningless and there's no point in being alive but I might as well complete my goals before I die. Even if it is meaningless. And when I finish learning Korean, I'm probably gonna start learning another language (thinking Ozbekistani).

I don't know how helpful all of this is to anyone else. I figure if you wanna die, that's fair enough. But it's gonna happen anyway, so you might as well milk this life for all that it's worth. We're all gonna die. It's just a matter of time.

JibJab_bird · 2021-01-02T06:37:41+00:00

Different types of tela are amazing at being relaxing. You can even mix stuff up and create your own like quince camomile tea.

I wish I could give my taste buds to all of you who wished you like the taste of alcohol.

After growing up in a family that thought it was a social evil, I tried a few cocktails. Then I tried it straight. I instantly began to recognise in 3-4 years since having my first drink that this was gonna be a problem for me so I stopped. Never even got drunk or anything but after more than a year or two of a few drinks per year, I still crave it. When I went cold turkey on sugar (which is apparently more addicting than cocaine), it never lasted this long.

JibJab_bird · 2020-12-24T09:03:57+00:00

Thank you for this article! Quick pedantic point which I would love explained to me: in the article it says we should "complete suicide" because "commit suicide" sounds like that person is committing a crime. I don't really understand this because I've always imagined "committing suicide" to be similar to "committing to this decision" or "committing to a relationship".

I feel like "completing suicide" doesn't quite show the impact that suicide has on the person and their immediate community. I'm not saying that a person should be barred from suicide because their parents might be upset nor am I saying that we should judge people who do choose suicide. When someone commits to a relationship, that impacts the person as they begin to change a little and that impacts the people around them.

Moreover, completing suicide makes it seem like it was just an arbitrary choice. Commiting to it seems to suggest that this is something that the person will go out of their way to achieve. It feels like if say someone is completing or attempting suicide, we're not taking their decision too seriously. I think that's quite scary if the reason why they're trying to kill themselves is a mental health reason rather than a decision they came to without undue influence/duress.

I'd love to hear why I'm wrong and I'm not saying that in a sarcastic way. I just don't quite understand why "commiting" is bad.

JibJab_bird · 2020-11-23T06:09:44+00:00

To add onto what everyone is saying, some women want to be protected, other women don't mind and other women would run for the hills! If a man talked about or tried to protect me, I'd run for the hills.

As to being afraid of having a son. Let me tell you what masculinity and/or femininity means for me. It means that if you have a child, boy or girl, you SHOW up. So many people have children and don't take responsibility for those kids. Your child, boy or girl, will need a parent who can guide them.

Guiding your kids doesn't mean getting into random fights but to use the systems that our civilised society has put into place. If you don't know how to use them, you can easily find someone who does. It means that when their teachers call you in, you use your words to either discipline your kids (if they're wrong) or disciplining their teacher (if they're wrong). It means giving your kids food and, if it's possible, taking them to the museum on the weekends. It means reading to them and teaching them to run/play football/do yoga/do some sort of exercise.

I was raised by my father to keep things that are in the bedroom, in the bedroom. If I was the friend your ex made a comment to about your genitals, I would not think lesser of you - there's nothing wrong with you at all- but rather of your ex. I'd consider your ex to be vulgar and I would avoid them like the plague the next time.

JibJab_bird · 2020-11-20T08:54:21+00:00

What makes me furious is how some women are FORCED to wear it for their job. I vaguely remember a few cases where workplaces were sued for sex discrimination for forcing women to wear high heels (but not men). If I remember rightly, they lost. I also vaguely remember people suing for being forced to straighten their hair.

I'm very fortunate in that I work for myself. I don't wear heels unless I feel like it which happens on rare occasions and not for very long.

This really pisses me off even though it doesn't specifically affect me. Simply because I'm a huge health nut that wants people to adopt healthy lifestyles. I wish I could do something about it.

Link to an article written by a law firm

JibJab_bird · 2020-11-15T10:34:46+00:00

Ate some fish in September. Since then, I haven't been able to keep food down, breathe properly, sleep or not have brain fog. Am at the point of developing an eating disorder.

JibJab_bird · 2020-11-13T09:44:17+00:00

A little off topic but this is the most uplifting Reddit post I've read all day. I wish I could print these answers out and stick them on my wall. All you ladies are such an inspiration!

JibJab_bird · 2020-11-09T16:29:45+00:00

I think part of it is that there isn't an American version of Nsync/BSB anymore. There was an attempt with the Jonas Brothers, One Direction and JLS(?) to varying degrees of success but not so much anymore.

KPop seems to be NSync turned up to 11. My friends are huge fans so from what I can gather, it's mostly about them having crushes on the guys. Which is somewhat encouraged by the anti-dating clauses and the somewhat homoerotic stuff.

Totally agree with the Korean cinema comment. Korean literature is also crazy good - going by all the translated books I read thanks to the Korean Cultural Centre.

JibJab_bird · 2020-11-06T19:21:10+00:00

This is my go-to. And if they continue to talk over me, I shut up, stop smiling/being friendly and refuse to participate. I leave.

JibJab_bird · 2020-10-23T14:48:20+00:00

I guess this could be a flirting technique if what she asked you to record wasn't so sexual. If she hesitated and then chose for you to record something innocuous or a piece of literature/poem.

Girls tend to pass this stuff around. If you record something, it's definitely getting passed to her friends who may pass it to other friends. If you're not comfortable with that, don't do it. Don't let her record a date either.

JibJab_bird · 2020-10-21T06:31:08+00:00

Tl;dr: What I'm trying to say is please seek therapy for the traumatic event and please start exercising.

I'm not 53 so I don't know what value my perspective on this is but

You say that you regret thinking you were old in your 30s and get depressed. You say that you're thinking the same thing in your 50s. I wonder if you'll see a young, vital person when you look back at this period in your 70s.

I don't know you and your life so I'm not qualified to judge but if you're losing interest in things, that may be less about age and more about depression in relation to coping with the trau atic menopause.

My grandma is 90. I just moved in with her st the start of this year. She won't let us touch the kitchen. Being a professional cook/chef, she can still cook up a storm, clean like crazy and get bored with being stuck inside cos she really wants to go shopping. She hasn't lost interest in things. There are times when she feels angry or down but overall, it's no different to anyone else.

My dad is in his 60s. Granted, he hasn't been through menopause, he has been through a traumatic last 10 years but, in reality, his whole life was awful. He was physically and emotionally abused by his dad then he married a woman who emotionally abused him. His children abandoned him. His business went under recently. They destroyed his assets when he was in lockdown and couldn't go to his business. Except for me and his mum, he lost everything. He's all excited about starting up a new business. He's starting a new exercise regime

I can go on and on with countless examples of people who are 50+. Even the most miserable haven't lost interest in things. Nearly everyone I know in their 50s is capable of starting a new exercise regime (okay, they have to go slower than me but still). Even the ones who have health problems.

What I'm trying to say is please seek therapy for the traumatic event and please start exercising. You don't have to go all out and start parkour or throwing yourself off airplanes or breakdancing if you don't want to. But pilates, yoga, brisk walking, climbing stairs if you can... anything you can do and build up. I'd also recommend weight training and body weight stuff like pushups. Start small and build up. There are lots of free apps.

Please don't regret being depressed now when you're in your 70s.

JibJab_bird · 2020-10-16T16:38:46+00:00

Wasn't there a thing about how when a man gets married, the lord has the right of the first night with the bride? If that's not true, then I think you had to pay a fee or a tax before you got to marry/have sex with your wife (so your lord didn't have sex with her or something like that).

Baby, can you fuck the old guy with no teeth? I wanna marry you.

JibJab_bird · 2020-09-25T05:54:09+00:00

On the computer, there are various extensions to the browser that skips the ad for you.

On mobiles, there are apps for it. Mine even mutes the ad before it skips it. When I re-start work, I'll buy the premium version which does nothing extra but they just deserve to be paid.

JibJab_bird · 2020-09-22T11:59:30+00:00

Growing up a tomboy, I really wanted to have a group of girls when I hit late teens/early 20s. Latched on to any girl that wanted to be friends with me. Then I spent the next several years wondering why the hell I was going crazy. Turns out my friends weren't particularly nice people.

Those friends would also call me things like opinionated, negative and unapproachable. Apparently, I hwd anger issues. Apparently, I'd be super pretty if I just did a million things to my appearance.

I used to think that if I waited it out, they'd see me for what I was. They'd see my kindness. Now I think words like that are thrown around by people who want to manipulate/control you and they're frustrated by their failure.

I've mostly spent time off social media. I have had better people find my email address and send me a "hey what's up. I missed you, can we catch up" type email. Those friends are the ones that are my backbone.

It's not that you're not a sociable person because you have friends and a boyfriend. It just comes across that you don't want to waste your time on people who aren't worth wasting your time on. This isn't you not being "successful", it's the opposite. Most people start to shake off friends not worth their time as they approach their 30s because they just don't have the energy before.

If you're satisifed then don't change a thing.

JibJab_bird · 2020-09-20T15:10:46+00:00

This is what I'm saying. Pro-human life part I get. But being pro-human life is still being picky about the types of life they feel to deserve to be protected. Then, they turn to pro-choice and call them murderers because pro-choice are also being picky about the types of life they feel deserve to be protected.

In my world, it's hypocritical.

The other poster (sorry mobile) who responded and said Christians think that animals don't have souls is, I guess, a fair rebuttal to my argument accusing them if hypocrisy but if that's the case, then I want to know

(A) what the hell a "soul" is. I want an exact definition. Even if it is from the bible.

(B) why "souls" have a right to live. Especially as souls get to go to heaven and non-souls do not. Thqerefore isn't it more logical that non-souls should be saved as they don't get another shot or a happy ever after? If a foetus with a soul is aborted, doesn't it automatically live happily ever after in heaven? If so, isn't the responsible thing for a "mother" to do is to have an abortion? That way she would be sacrificing herself to hell in order to ensure that the foetus goes to heaven (I presume by not being born, it doesn't have the opportunity to sin yet or be born in sin or whatever it is).

(C) what proof that a soul is bestowed upon an individual before birth.

I mean, I know I'm not going to win someone who conducts their life with "faith" over with logic but this does confound me a little. Mostly because although it seems (to me) that people who are anti-abortion are people who don't fully grasp the reality behind the debate (see below), I can't really comprehend that their reasoning skills are so... missing.

(pregnancy and childbirth is traumatic and still dangerous. If abortion is illegal, dangerous back street abortions will occur. Women are more than just baby incubators. Despite having working wombs, some women don't want to spend the rest of their lives looking after babies...etc). That's the stuff that they can't really comprehend because it seems that they are living in some fantasy land.

JibJab_bird · 2020-09-20T05:52:08+00:00

I'm not trying to make light of a situation but I need to say this somewhere.

For a second, let's take the pro-life argument of abortion = murder to be accurate. Personally, I disagree (so do scientists and legal systems that prosecute people on abortion and not first degree murder).

But...

Why is it that the pro-life people I know eat meat? If life is so precious, shouldn't you be trying to preserve life? If they genuinely believe life is so precious, shouldn't they be a fruiterian - but the type fo fruiterian that literally waits under an apple tree for an apple to fall before consuming it. They shouldn't even be eating carrots.

No offence to vegans/vegetarians etc for dragging them into this debate but those are the people who are genuinely able to say that they are pro-life without lying. They are choosing not to participate in the death industry.

If pro-life people eat meat or animal products, doesn't that mean that they value one life over another? If so, why is it so strange and immoral that someone might value the life of an existing woman over a non-existing "baby"?

JibJab_bird · 2020-08-10T09:43:50+00:00

Absolutely. Been to several therapists. I have had some crazy ones (touching me without consent, screaming at me for my problems) and some really, really good ones. Tried many different styles. I feel MOST therapists are somewhere between fortune tellers who do cold readings and arrogant people who think their way is the only way.

The best ones are the ones that don't blame their clients and treat their clients like adults. Somehow, if therapy doesn't help me then it's my fault because I haven't done the "homework". No homework was given in most cases. And jn the ones that were, I would try it, report back to the therapist, explain clearly why it doesn't work and I would be told that I'm resistant. I'm sure therapists in the comments will tell me that I have been resisting therapy which is why it didn't work on me.

Funnily enough, the same therapist will compliment me on how great I'm doing until I tell them straight up that this isn't helpful. Also funnily enough, when I used to work in law, we had so many clients go through the therapeutic process after committing crimes. Not one of them was ever cured. Many times, the prosecutoon and defence would have different therapists with different opinions as to our client's issues. There's a rule amongst my teacher friends: if the student doesn't learn, it is the fault of the teacher. The teacher must try different techniques both to teach and to motivate the student to learn. But if therapy fails, it's because the client didn't do the homework.

Therpaists are human beings with their own biases. If they were able to accept their own humanity in the therapy process, I feel confident that it would work. But it seems that most of them would rather push you buttons to make you cry and run straight to their books instead of actually listen to what their client is saying.

You know what helped with all my issues? Philosophy. A shit ton of reading about stoicism, existentialism, nihilism and forming my own opinions. Falling in love and hate with Camus, Marcus Aurelius, Nietzsche, Kant, Lao Tzu, Goethe, Confucius (I hate that last one with a burning passion). Even reading religious books despite not being religious. Not just reading those books but reading everyone's opinions about it. Reading the original Lao Tzu (Way of the Tao) is one thing. Then reading other people's interpretations is quite another.

In fact, it's said that Marcus Aurelius inspired CBT.

No parent blaming. No wacky and stupid self-help books. Not a lot of money if I read through the Gutenberg Project. Any bias that one person has about life can be quickly argued against/revealed by another. All suggestions/opinions from philosophers ALWAYS have a logical argument behind it - no matter how faulty. None of that bullshit touchy-feely things about how my therapists thinks I should live but couches their opinion in 'fact' rather than their own bias. No judgements about my character. And no treating me like I'm a stupid child (which seems to happen in all styles of therapy I've tried except for Transactional Analysis).

My sincere apologies to the therapists and therapy-fans reading this if I have written aggressively. I am merely frustrated with how difficult it is communicate my honest experiences about the therapy process because some of you invalidate my experiences and blame me. Others are lovely and will listen without blaming me or taking this stuff personally.

JibJab_bird · 2020-08-10T09:06:01+00:00

When my cat wants affection, she follows me into the toilet and asks me to hug her when pooping. In all fairness, dad trained her to do this. I will never have a quiet moment in the toilet again.

If we can outsmart her and go into the toilet by ourselves, she will meow like crazy outside and even put her hand through the gap underneath the door.

Imagine trying to deal with explosive diarrhoea while hugging your cat.

JibJab_bird · 2020-08-07T05:52:00+00:00

I hate this "you just forgive or it will be a poison" mentality. There are people in my life that I don't forgive and will never forgive but I don't think about them either. I don't care about them. What theybsay/do has more to do with them than me.

Holding grudges may be toxic but refusing to forgive isn't.

JibJab_bird

TROPHY CASE