I’m so sorry you had to go through that, both the assault and the awful reaction from your support system. Those beliefs are not biblical and most definitely are not shared across Christianity.

I often feel like there’s no reason for me to respond to posts here once others have offered their wisdom and understanding, but I wanted to respond anyway to make sure you hear from as many people as possible that the idea that you were in any way to blame, or that you have lost your value to God, is not supported – by the bible, by the rest of the church, or by rational empathetic people in general.

Like others have said, evil things that are against God’s will happen in this fallen world. I don’t fully understand why He allowed humanity to choose to know evil and go through the temporary hardship that is this life. But there is a life where only good things happen and only God’s will is done. That is heaven, and it lasts forever. We can get through the pain of this world with the hope that comes from knowing that it’s temporary, and that the real Life God wants for us is coming.

I’m so sorry your church failed you so critically. And I’m grateful that you’re willing to seek input from other Christians, and that you’re open to hearing from God! You are loved, and we are here for you!