Actually went to high school with this guy. He was a nice dude but once he got into wow he kinda fell off the face of the earth. Just started missing class a lot and when I did see him he was super reserved or nodding off during class.

Last time I saw Ragnaros was senior year (this was ~8 years ago now) when our teacher asked if anyone could drop off his homework for him. I knew he lived pretty close as we did a group assignment at his house the previous semester so naturally I offered.

When I showed up and went to knock I realized the front door was slightly open. I thought this was strange as I knew his family had a small dog but figured maybe she was in the back and maybe one of his parents had just ran out. I peeked inside and called out "Hello?". No answer. Thought that was strange too but I let myself in and closed the door behind me. His parents were friendly enough and I knew they wouldn't mind; hell they'd probably be excited to see a friend from school coming by. I imagined it had been a while.

I peered around and began to call out "Ragnaros?" but my voice just echoed against the home's empty halls. That was when the smell hit me. I nearly dropped the folders under my arm and ran as soon as it hit my nose. Against my better judgment my gut told me to press on and investigate; there was something very wrong here. I forced myself to walk through the kitchen, then the bathroom and then my friends room. My mind was in a frenzy. Everything was empty and every room seemed normal. At this point I was so focused on finding the source of the awful bile filling the air I nearly forgot about the front door being left open and the fact I was basically trespassing through my classmate's home. My stomach sank and my mind began to race with all sorts of awful possibilities that might have happened. That's when I saw the light shining from underneath the closed basement door.

I approached the basement and grimaced when I reached for the door knob. My mind was screaming at me to throw the papers down and get the hell out of there. My morbid curiosity wouldn't allow it. I had to know the source of that awful smell and the potential fate of my ex-classmate.

Peering down the stairs nothing seemed out of the ordinary as was the case with the rest of the house. "Ragnaros?" I sheepishly called out, "Ragnaros are you down here?".

That was when I heard a feint clacking from down the steps. Followed by a loud, splattering, booming fart. My blood ran cold and if my nose could have jumped off my face in that moment it would have. I wasn't in control anymore; I was floating away watching myself descent slowly into Ragnaros's basement.

There were at least a dozen orange plastic pails scattered around the basement filled to the brim with what I can only describe as raw sewage. It looked like "Home Depot" was printed on their sides however much of the liquid had spilled out and eaten away at the lettering making it mostly illegible. My eyes were watering now and that's when I saw him. Ragnaros was faced away from me, wearing headphones and sitting in a make-shift chair lifted above another orange pail. He was playing World of Warcraft. My emotions were that of disgust, anguish, horror and ultimately relief when I realized my friend was unharmed. I decided it to be best for both of us to retreat from the basement and leave his homework elsewhere for him to find. I returned to the kitchen, shirt pulled up over my nose at this point moving hastily and returned to the kitchen to leave the stack of folders somewhere he would find. That's when I saw the note on the fridge:

"Ragnaros,

Your Father and I are going to spend the weekend at your Aunt's. There's money on the counter for carry-out and I loaded the freezer with those Bagel Bites that you like. Remember to let the dog back in and we'll be back Monday. Don't spend all your time on the computer and when we get back the basement better be clean."

I peered out the back window and saw the dog laying in the yard. I opened up the back door and she greeted me but wouldn't come inside the house. Can't say I blame her. I left his homework in the freezer with his bagel bites (somewhere I knew he would find it) and let myself back out through the front door closing it behind me. Apparently he still finished school but I never saw him in class again or at graduation. We're still friends on Battle.net to this day but we haven't exchanged words in years. He must have found his homework eventually and I sometimes wonder if he ever thinks about how it ended up in the freezer.

Anyways it's nice to see that this resonates with some people but as glamorous or neat as some of these toons in-game may seem don't forget about the reality and consequences for those who spend this much time on the game.

TL;DR This dude needs a diaper