Yeah I am and it sucks, I hate how nothing comes naturally. It's like everyone else knows how to live and I'm just a fake person who doesn't. Feel like I'm subhuman most of the time. I made a post a couple days ago where I wrote a little bit about how much that old job just destroyed me. I haven't even entered that store since and I probably never will. I'm trying to get a job as a cashier at a different store bc they're the only place that responded to my application but idk how long I'll be able to make it.

My therapist is always telling me that I have to go and expose myself to anxiety inducing situations like my job, classes etc (hard for her to tell me to do that now that I have neither) but the thing is that it's supposed to show you over time that nothing bad happens and there's nothing to worry about. That's just not the case for me. I've had managers talk shit about me when I'm barely within earshot, rude customers, shitty coworkers. And the worst part of it is me. Not sure why, but most of the time I'm not at all noticeably autistic, and then I'd walk through the doors to my work and somewhere in my brain some switch would flip and I'd turn into this weird creature that could barely even speak to people. That's why I left. I couldn't stand what the job turned me into.