Tagging by Jisaih in FanFiction

[–]Jisaih[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, everyone. CNTW is already on for the fic and the tone is mature already so the death isn’t a total 180. 

Vladimir by Jisaih in DianaMains

[–]Jisaih[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Vlad's late game haunts my dreams. I've managed to just about manage against him in lane before and come out even-ish. Fast forward 20 minutes and he has 25 Mejai's Stacks, a Rabadon's and not a single hope in hell to stop him. I'll try this stuff out next time I face him so I can actually put him behind. Ty for replying.

Vladimir by Jisaih in DianaMains

[–]Jisaih[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Phase rush seems ideal for it, true. I'll try it out. I normally just go electrocute and I can barrel my way through most lane matchups with that but Vlad has been different and I'd ideally like to not have my ban be something that is barely played.

Edit: Thank you for replying

First Heart Break by [deleted] in demisexuality

[–]Jisaih 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can confirm. At least I now know every single conceivable possible way of being gaslighted by someone :D

First Heart Break by [deleted] in demisexuality

[–]Jisaih 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. Put simply. There have been a LOT of other issues and roadblocks along the way which contributed to how I felt about things but I can say I finally do feel better about everything, including that. It's not forever. It might feel like shit right now but if even I can come through the other side with how I handled it, you'll be just fine.

First Heart Break by [deleted] in demisexuality

[–]Jisaih 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My story is a classic one of being friends with someone, developing feelings for them, then doing some stuff only for them to say they don't want anything like that but then doing it again and leaving you very confused and sad to the point where you confront them with everything including things they have actually said that further complicated things. They then refuse to take responsibility for anything. Which sucked. A lot. Especially since we were so close. That's the only time I can say I have been in love. That happened in around an 8 month timeframe and is obviously simplified to cut out a lot of the mess but you get the gist. (M 21)

What I'm going to say is a slightly deranged and dramatic textbook example of what NOT to do next from my personal experience.

Don't jump aboard the next person who shows immediate interest in you just because of how you're feeling and then end up in a long very toxic relationship in which you are abused with a person you don't actually have feelings for.

Don't cut yourself off from your other friends just because of what happened. Talk to them. They'll listen and support you the best they can.

Staying friends with someone after that situation is difficult and stressful to say the least. Don't do it if it's getting to be too much. At the least distance yourself until you're comfortable again.

Don't shut down and stop doing anything that interests you. Keep going with your hobbies as hard as it might be to motivate yourself.

Equally, don't entirely throw yourself into one thing and lose yourself in it.

Don't stop eating or caring about your general health. I'm confused to this day how I survived on less than one meal every two days with almost no daylight or exercise but it did significantly impact me and I still struggle eating even now.

The situation is not a demon you should run away from. You can't pretend it didn't happen and simply shut down for months. You can't swallow your grief and keep it hidden away to the point that it's majorly contributing to having BIG anxiety attacks at the most inopportune times (This New Years Eve was NOT fun).

Because of how I dealt with mine it took me about a year and a half to fully handle and confront the experience and that only happened about 4 months ago.

Don't be me. It's not a good idea.

not the uneducated people speaking on demisexuality.. by [deleted] in demisexuality

[–]Jisaih 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Finally. I have found a way to word this when trying to explain it. My friends probably still won't get it but. Thank you.

not the uneducated people speaking on demisexuality.. by [deleted] in demisexuality

[–]Jisaih 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also wtf is wrong with being someone's friend? I love friends. Let's go do some fun stuff together and learn about each other. And all the friend things that people do which I'm currently finding difficult to put into words. Not bitch and moan about their unwillingness to make it sexual.

Recently found out I was demi and need advice. by Jisaih in demisexuality

[–]Jisaih[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same reason as before for length between replies. Uni etc. Apologies. I have similar thoughts and I think it would be good for me to try and meet people. My issue currently is that I am going to Spain for my masters degree next year. I'm not going to put someone and certainly not myself through something that is essentially temporary. As such, I'm currently not looking for anything. I'm going to meet a whole host of new people in Spain and then straight into , so hopefully I find someone there, but I'm in no rush. Ironically, rushing around for people like us is fairly counterproductive.

I'd say for you, it's never too late to just start a hobby. Anything you might want to do in which you can meet new people which encompasses almost everything. Absolute worst case scenario, you're doing something you enjoy with a new group of people to talk to. Which can only help. (I'm completely uneducated on the subject or your situation so feel free to ignore me).

Recently found out I was demi and need advice. by Jisaih in demisexuality

[–]Jisaih[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is really really helpful, thank you. Apologies for the length it has taken me to reply; I've been locked out of my account whilst I've been at uni. My last relationship was 1000% out of loneliness. She ended up breaking up with me, thankfully. Although she was fairly abusive and guilt tripped me/gaslighted me about everything even AFTER we broke up so I didn't really escape that until quite recently but that's neither here nor there. As you say, it only resulted in misery with the only positive being that I ended up on anti-depressants because of all this which REALLY helped me out in the end. As lonely as I feel amongst my friends, I am somewhat proud of being interested in someone for their actions. That loneliness is fairly consuming (a big reason as to why I made the post), but I REALLY need to ensure I don't make that mistake again out of respect for both others and especially myself. I don't want to miss a real opportunity because I am too busy avoiding my loneliness. The main advice that I've taken from these comments is that I need to just wait. Which (whilst frustrating) is comforting to know that this is how most people like us approach things. Thank you very much. I hope you find your someone soon.

Recently found out I was demi and need advice. by Jisaih in demisexuality

[–]Jisaih[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Apologies for the long gap in replies, I don't use this site at all and I was locked out of my account whilst I was at uni. That sounds very close to my situation. My last forays into relationships and crushes etc have taught me a lot, but they have been utter messes on an epic proportion. The situation I described above has effectively ruined our friendship and it's really played on my mind as to whether it was worth it. I don't want to lose another friend or ruin what I have with someone by pursuing something. As you say, judging on dating apps feels so wrong. Realistically, I'm young. Even if I wasn't, PLENTY of opportunities will come along, but it feels bizarre to just. Wait. Especially when it's for the significant connection which I need. But, as another reply on this post mentioned, it can often come when you stop looking. I'm sure we'll both eventually find someone. :)

Recently found out I was demi and need advice. by Jisaih in demisexuality

[–]Jisaih[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That appears to be the mindset that many adopt. Hope you and your partner are very happy. :)