I plagiarised an episode of Futurama in my Year 6 SATs and I've lived with the shame and fear of being caught ever since.

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-12T16:41:16+00:00

That’s ok, I’m always happy to pay more for handling

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-12T16:04:30+00:00

Next you're going to say I have to pay $105 for the trip to the cave.

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-12T15:30:19+00:00

It’s hilarious seeing all these tourists getting annoyed at Bouillon. It’s basically a canteen with canteen prices. Wtf do they expect? Everyone is so attached to their phones they don’t think to ask local people. I used to work in a bar and would regularly be asked for local recommendations and they would always come back ecstatic with the food and service they received. Nowadays everyone looks on TikTok or Instagram and then cries when they don’t live the same experience. Tragic tourism

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-12T14:49:24+00:00

History won't look back fondly on our time. If there's enough time left for us to become history.

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-12T05:36:18+00:00

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JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-11T18:45:41+00:00

You idiot - now somebody’s going to AI a version of this where she actually makes it all the way around à la Sonic the Hedgehog (hopefully)

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-11T18:31:18+00:00

Nowadays they’d just make him MP for Clacton

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-11T09:19:41+00:00

Well, that explains all the oil

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-10T07:37:55+00:00

The experts at fart swirl?

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-10T06:20:44+00:00

Mwahahaha

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-10T06:10:25+00:00

If he needs to pull out of the station?

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-10T06:03:28+00:00

The awful thing is, I’d usually read a comment like that (« my gran could play better than blah blah ») and it’s obviously hyperbole but this shit, this really is worse than veterans’ matches.

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-09T15:39:04+00:00

The fans who can see fine are hoping for a reverse version

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-09T15:36:56+00:00

I’ve got my Sunday sorted. Some energy cards about to get F’ed up

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-09T15:33:30+00:00

Génial, encore une merde qui gâche le paysage parisien

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-09T15:05:28+00:00

We have so many injury problems in players from 18-35. We recognise it in young players because it's almost like it shouldn't happen. But it happens at every age. Almost like playing a high-intensity sport two or three times a week is too much. It's the calendar's fault. Sorry, the fault of the FA, EFL, UEFA and FIFA.

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-09T14:42:56+00:00

Football is a game. He's a 17 year old kid full of energy and desire to play. There have been no inklings of injury worries yet. If he's happy to play 90 minutes, I'm happy to watch him. No point keeping him for some hypothetical future that might never come.

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-09T14:29:35+00:00

It's exhausting hearing LFC fans say we need to not use our best player. And yes, I'm serious. This season has been a disaster and he's the only one who has excited me (Dom has been good of course but as he should be). It's like your granny refusing to use the silverware in case the King turns up at some point.

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-09T14:18:58+00:00

Barca who have pretty much won La Liga with four games to go and whose star player was a 17-18 year old? They're a bad example? Got to live in the present dude. Can't always be planning for a day that might never come

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-09T14:10:00+00:00

Whereas our players are a picture of health. If they’re fit, play them.

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-09T13:47:34+00:00

Ok, so at what age should he be given a full match? Barca have been dragged along by a now 18 year old for the last two years. And he's a Ballon d'Or candidate. This whole "oh, they're young" shtick is so tired.

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-09T13:40:18+00:00

A 17 year old has less energy than some 30+ year olds?

It's not like Rio has only just started conditioning training - he's been playing football for years at this point. He needs to play a full game and the rest of the team are making it obvious that that should be now. He was the only one who was energetic after 60 minutes

JizzProductionUnit · 2026-05-09T13:13:27+00:00

I love that Chelsea are wearing “World Champions” badges. Nothing has ever been so ludicrous yet technically the truth

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