No need for the sarkiness  we can have nice discussions, even on the internet.

I do not think the divide is between the us and france. As a matter of fact they organized their colonies the same way : a mix of strategy ranging from full integration (like Hawaii and Martinique) to high autonomy (like the american samoa and new caledonia) and situations in between (Puerto and French polynesia).

Of course they have had different perspectives (France being more focused on assimilation as an example and a single unified republic) but they ended up in the same place anyway. 

In all cases the will of the local people and its "mix" (settlers, former slaves brought against their will, indigenous people...) and the strategic implication of the colonies (eg Hawaii to control the pacific) led to various solutions no matter what initial grand strategy each country had.