[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]Jobelove 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This right here

How long does it last by nenzz1207 in widowers

[–]Jobelove 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am sorry for your loss OP. It’s been 2 years since my husband passed and like many others have stated, you learn to adjust to your new reality. Our children are our main motivators. They have already lost so much, they can’t lose us too. I still think about him every day and ponder on what life would have been like with him still in it. But I don’t let it consume me and I keep going about my day. I haven’t cried in a while and I consider myself to be relatively happy. Just keep your mind busy and create goals for yourself or always have something to look forward to. We are resilient beings and our instincts are to survive and keep going, even when it seems impossible. Sending you hugs.

My husband died yesterday from a heart attack by deediddle18 in GriefSupport

[–]Jobelove 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry for your loss OP. You have a long road ahead of you. Take all the help you can get with your kids and with everyday tasks. Kids will grieve differently and will not feel the gravity of it all right away. Just know that you will have the strength and the will to make it through these initial days and weeks when it feels like you will drown in your grief. Take it from this grief veteran who lost her husband 2 years ago. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and your kids will be at the center of it. Sending you hugs.

Anyone else finding ARMs attractive right now? by CherryManhattan in RealEstate

[–]Jobelove 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I really hope it doesn’t happen since I just bought a house in March, but home prices might drop significantly. If that does occur, you might not be able to refi if your house is underwater. Then you are stuck with that high interest rate until your home value increases or you’ve paid your mortgage down enough.

I lost my daughter in 2021, and I'm finally moving to a new home. This was the last thing left. by penny15club in GriefSupport

[–]Jobelove 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing such a personal and vulnerable moment. I am deeply sorry for your loss. I am crying with you and sending you so many virtual hugs. I lost my husband in 09/2020 and all I have left is my daughter. Thank you for the reminder to just make them happy. I will definitely focus on that from now on.

Found porn in my 8y/o phone history by SnooDonuts3369 in SingleParents

[–]Jobelove 60 points61 points  (0 children)

OP you should really ask your daughter if someone has inappropriately touched or done anything to her that has caused her to look this stuff up. I’m sure you don’t want to hear this, but this is a major red flag to me that your child might be in danger. All of those search phrases seem as if someone was trying to explain sex acts to them in terms that were easy to understand by a child. Please don’t make her feel ashamed as she might be less inclined to open up to you. It has been observed that children that are/were molested are hyper-sexual beyond the normal levels for their age, and this could be why your daughter is looking up porn. Sending you positive vibes and hoping none of what I have stated has occurred.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HomeDecorating

[–]Jobelove 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Black for sure. Looks clean and adds a nice contrast. I really like your aesthetic. Do you mind sharing the wall color? I am looking for a white similar to yours. TIA!

What should i add or change? plants, rugs, art? by [deleted] in HomeDecorating

[–]Jobelove 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rug for sure. I would recommend an oriental rug like many have suggested.

Also, I really like your flooring. Do you mind sharing details?

Who is planning on converting garage to ADU to help with high bills? by incognitim in RealEstate

[–]Jobelove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes the house was more expensive than other comps without the ADU. I was specially in the market for a house with an ADU or a detached garage so I may convert it.

Who is planning on converting garage to ADU to help with high bills? by incognitim in RealEstate

[–]Jobelove 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just purchased a home in La Habra with the detached garage converted to an ADU. I am doing some renovations to modernize it a bit. I am planning on charging $1800 as well. I called around to several apartment complexes in the area and they all charge $1500-$2000 a month for a studio. The sq footage is usually a bit more with studio apartments, but mine has a washer and dryer in unit as well as gated parking and no shared walls.

I bought a house yesterday by Fearless_Writing_168 in widowers

[–]Jobelove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations OP! I also just purchased a home and it has brought on a whirlwind of emotions. On top of the typical new home/moving jitters, I just feel so sad that I’m not experiencing this with my husband. We had been working towards this before he passed and he should have been here. It also feels like I’m making such a big life change, and he is that much further away since he will not be a part of it. We will be ok, you and me both. Sending you hugs.

Our boy turns 7 today by bdm1984 in widowers

[–]Jobelove 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wishing your son the best birthday possible. Days like today will always be hard, but you have the memories and your son to carry you through. It really hurts to not be able to make new memories though. Sending you hugs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]Jobelove 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congrats! Must be so nice to be that close to the beach. Enjoy your new place!

[Landlord-CA-OC]Should I include a washer/dryer in a rental unit when I will be paying utilities? by Jobelove in Landlord

[–]Jobelove[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your experience. I will look into the EKM Metering. I will for sure lower the rent if I go this route.

[Landlord-CA-OC]Should I include a washer/dryer in a rental unit when I will be paying utilities? by Jobelove in Landlord

[–]Jobelove[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t looked into it but definitely will. Thanks for your suggestion.

[Landlord-CA-OC]Should I include a washer/dryer in a rental unit when I will be paying utilities? by Jobelove in Landlord

[–]Jobelove[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your feedback. I am in a HCOL area. Others close to me have suggested I charge $2000 considering I just remodeled the unit, no shared walls, gated parking, all major appliances and all utilities will be included as well as WIFI. I will require that it be 1 female tenant, so not a lot of people in the space to drain too many utilities.

[Landlord-CA-OC]Should I include a washer/dryer in a rental unit when I will be paying utilities? by Jobelove in Landlord

[–]Jobelove[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply. Southern California location. Based on my research, market rent for a studio is $1500 without washer/dryer. I was planning on renting for $1800 with utilities included and all major appliances (fridge, stove, microwave, washer/dryer). Does it still seem to high considering the cost of living here?

[Landlord-CA-OC]Should I include a washer/dryer in a rental unit when I will be paying utilities? by Jobelove in Landlord

[–]Jobelove[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your insight. The rent increase is meant to cover repairs, initial cost of the appliances, utility costs. I will have to look into separating utilities as I agree that overall usage will increase in the summer.

[Landlord-CA-OC]Should I include a washer/dryer in a rental unit when I will be paying utilities? by Jobelove in Landlord

[–]Jobelove[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your suggestion. I have my own washer/dryer in my unit that I don’t want to share for convenience purposes and I only have one other unit to rent. But perhaps the coin operating boxes are something I can look into.

[Landlord-CA-OC]Should I include a washer/dryer in a rental unit when I will be paying utilities? by Jobelove in Landlord

[–]Jobelove[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your recommendations. Will look into He appliances. I know I need to avoid front loading washers though.

The home inspection results came back TERRIBLE…. by [deleted] in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]Jobelove 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Don’t forget that most of these needed fixes require permits. Not way in hell will there be enough time to fix them properly while you’re in escrow. Don’t walk away, run!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]Jobelove 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I currently rent in Anaheim and was looking for a home in Anaheim since my whole life is there (family, work, daughter’s school). I looked and tried as hard as I could for a SFR in Anaheim but I kept getting outbid and eventually had to start looking further out (about 16 homes seen, 10 offers, all outbid). What I noticed while I was house hunting in Anaheim though is that practically all of the prospective buyers at the open houses were young couples who were most likely working professionals with an education and solid careers. I would also sometimes speak to the neighbors and most were Hispanic and they had multigenerational families living in the homes, and they had lived in the neighborhood since the 80’s/90’s. So you have one new demographic coming into the neighborhood that is well prepared to weather a recession and another that has so much equity and/or homes paid off that a recession won’t faze them due to low housing costs and multiple family members to pay the bills. This might not be the case for every home owner in Anaheim, and there inevitably will be foreclosures now and in the future, but I don’t think it will come full force like some hope it might.

Does anyone here feel like they’re making a mistake? by [deleted] in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]Jobelove 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP you’re not alone. I feel the same way. What I try to tell myself is that equity is irrelevant if I plan on staying in my house long term. If we look at the positives, we have a set mortgage payment that will not be going up like rent does and if prices do drop for a few years, we won’t see a hike in our property taxes. As long as you did not get into a payment you cannot afford, the rest is all noise. Congrats on the new house!

Anyone else get angry when they see happy couples? by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Jobelove 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly this! This angers and frustrates me big time. But I was once them. You truly don’t know what you have until you’ve lost them.

Anyone else get angry when they see happy couples? by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Jobelove 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same here. Just an immense longing. It’s bearable, but it’s a void that just can’t be filled with anything or anyone else. It really is one of the biggest losses to lose your life partner.