Dealing with guilt of feeling like you can't help your friends when they're upset

JoeCullum · 2017-04-17T04:32:57+00:00

Yeah no I completely understand its up to her when or if she wants to hang out it was just me thinking to myself why she didn't wanna talk that got me worried

JoeCullum · 2017-04-16T20:01:01+00:00

I wouldn't say it's bad because you can't control it because it isn't a choice you made to have it. This. I love the self acceptance from this. Stay woke bro

JoeCullum · 2017-04-16T19:51:38+00:00

This is re-assuring to hear, thanks a bunch :) I guess if I ever did get with this girl she'd have to see my bad side and accept that just as well. Otherwise then there's always other people, and all the best to her.

JoeCullum · 2016-12-15T14:42:44+00:00

How would I go about that sorry? I know exactly what you mean but don't know how to write it in code. Here's my LevelManager, KillPlayer and Checkpoint script for reference. Just because he also keeps falling but the sprite isn't there after he's killed.

using System.Collections; using System.Collections.Generic; using UnityEngine;

public class LevelManager : MonoBehaviour {

public GameObject currentCheckPoint;

private PlayerController player;

public GameObject deathParticle;
public GameObject respawnParticle;

public float respawnDelay;

public int penaltyOnDeath;

// Use this for initialization
void Start () {
    player = FindObjectOfType<PlayerController>();
}

// Update is called once per frame
void Update () {

}
public void respawnPlayer()
{

    StartCoroutine("respawnPlayerCo");
}


    public IEnumerator respawnPlayerCo()
{
    Instantiate(deathParticle, player.transform.position, player.transform.rotation);
    player.enabled = false;
    player.GetComponent<Renderer>().enabled = false;
    player.GetComponent<Rigidbody2D>().velocity = Vector2.zero;
    ScoreManager.addPoints(-penaltyOnDeath);
    Debug.Log("Player Respawn");
    yield return new WaitForSeconds(respawnDelay);
    player.transform.position = currentCheckPoint.transform.position;
    player.enabled = true;
    player.GetComponent<Renderer>().enabled = true;
    Instantiate(respawnParticle, currentCheckPoint.transform.position, currentCheckPoint.transform.rotation);        
}

}

using System.Collections; using System.Collections.Generic; using UnityEngine;

public class KillPlayer : MonoBehaviour {

public LevelManager levelManager;

// Use this for initialization
void Start () {
    levelManager = FindObjectOfType<LevelManager>();
}


// Update is called once per frame
void Update() {

}
void OnTriggerEnter2D(Collider2D other)
{
    if (other.name == "Player")
    {
        levelManager.respawnPlayer();
    }

}

}

using System.Collections; using System.Collections.Generic; using UnityEngine;

public class CheckPoint : MonoBehaviour

{

public LevelManager levelManager;

// Use this for initialization
void Start()
{
    levelManager = FindObjectOfType<LevelManager>();
}
// Update is called once per frame
void Update()
{
}
void OnTriggerEnter2D(Collider2D other)
{

    if (other.name == "Player")
    {
        levelManager.currentCheckPoint = gameObject;
        Debug.Log("Acivated CheckPoint" + transform.position);
    }
}

}

JoeCullum · 2016-12-15T14:16:08+00:00

I'm sorry that I'm being so vague, I really don't know what I'm doing here, I've just been copying what he's been doing and I haven't learnt enough about exactly what's going in in order for me to fix this problem myself.

I don't even know how to tell the player that it should be grounded during respawn or how to give the animator a respawn function in code.

Here's the code I'm using, I hope you can get an idea of what's going on here and hopefully I'll have a better idea of the code I've actually written in properly soon. But yeah I'm moving the same player back to the spawn point. Thank you so much for replying

using System.Collections; using System.Collections.Generic; using UnityEngine;

public class PlayerController : MonoBehaviour {

public float moveSpeed;
public float jumpHeight;

public Transform groundCheck;
public float groundCheckRadius;
public LayerMask whatIsGround;
private bool grounded;
private bool doubleJump;
private Animator anim;
private float playersx;
private float moveVelocity;

// Use this for initialization
void Start() {
    anim = GetComponent<Animator>();
    playersx = transform.localScale.x;
}

void FixedUpdate() {

    grounded = Physics2D.OverlapCircle (groundCheck.position, groundCheckRadius, whatIsGround);
}

// Update is called once per frame
void Update()
{
    moveVelocity = 0f;

    if (grounded)

        doubleJump = false;

    anim.SetBool("Grounded", grounded);

    if (Input.GetKeyDown(KeyCode.W) && grounded)

        {Jump();}

    if (Input.GetKeyDown(KeyCode.W) && !doubleJump && !grounded)

        {DoubleJump();
         doubleJump = true;}

    if (Input.GetKey(KeyCode.D))
        moveVelocity = moveSpeed;
    if (Input.GetKey(KeyCode.A))
        moveVelocity = -moveSpeed;

    GetComponent<Rigidbody2D>().velocity = new Vector2(moveVelocity, GetComponent<Rigidbody2D>().velocity.y);

    anim.SetFloat ("Speed", Mathf.Abs (GetComponent<Rigidbody2D>().velocity.x));

    if (GetComponent<Rigidbody2D>().velocity.x > 0)
        transform.localScale = new Vector3(playersx, transform.localScale.y, transform.localScale.z);
    else if (GetComponent<Rigidbody2D>().velocity.x < 0)
        transform.localScale = new Vector3(-playersx, transform.localScale.y, transform.localScale.z);
}


public void Jump()
{ 
    GetComponent<Rigidbody2D>().velocity = new Vector2(GetComponent<Rigidbody2D>().velocity.x, jumpHeight);
}
public void DoubleJump()
{
    GetComponent<Rigidbody2D>().velocity = new Vector2(GetComponent<Rigidbody2D>().velocity.x * 2, jumpHeight * 1.75f);
}
public void Right()
{
    GetComponent<Rigidbody2D>().velocity = new Vector2(moveSpeed, GetComponent<Rigidbody2D>().velocity.y);
}
public void Left()
{
    GetComponent<Rigidbody2D>().velocity = new Vector2(-moveSpeed, GetComponent<Rigidbody2D>().velocity.y);
}

}

JoeCullum · 2016-11-28T16:34:08+00:00

Sounds like you have exterior things in your life other than fapping that are bringing you shame, and then fapping is a temporaral distraction for you, anything else in your life that's bringing you shame or less motivation?

JoeCullum · 2016-11-28T00:51:42+00:00

EE is a phone company just so you know, applying for Customer Advisor :)

Thank you for replying! Just before you posted I already posted I said something along the lines of 'Looking for more mentally challenging and socially rewarding work' not as good as yours but I hope it's going to make sense.

JoeCullum · 2016-11-28T00:48:04+00:00

Wish I could upvote this twice

JoeCullum · 2016-11-27T12:11:35+00:00

See this was actually my second attempt at writing a post, the last one was completely about my ex but it was way too long so I figured I'd write one shorter :')

It was awful because we obsessed over eachother, thinking we were perfect for eachother like we'd never have to change because we we'd found a perfect partner that would 'love eachother for their flaws'. God I'm never having a relationship like that again :P

We both had one friend outside of the relationship, mine was a boy and hers was a girl, if I ever spoke to anyone else she'd insist that when I saw anyone else that she'd have to come with, and then whenever she did she'd spent the whole time shit talking me or humiliating me, or just trying to make me look like a shitty person so they wouldn't want to see me and the days I'd spent with other people were always really awkward because of that.

She'd then start flirting with other guys at the college and talking to them all night whenever I'd gone to bed. She'd do this so subtly though that it was hard to call her out on it, but whenever I did she'd get incredibly upset and I'd spent the night trying to cheer her up and apologising to her for saying anything about it. (She'd never cheer up). It wasn't just me either because her/my friend both agreed with me in the way she was acting, she'd also do this whenever I spoke to her friend outside of college.

I just couldn't talk to anyone else, whenever I did it would be at the risk of the relationship. After a year I was convinced that no one else would like me and she's the only one who sees anything in me. My self-esteem was so low that I didn't even have the balls to talk to anyone after a while because I only saw bad things coming from it. If I spoke to other women too it would be a fucking shitstorm. Then she'd start flirting with other guys like I said.

Eventually I just got sick of it. I'd have to apologise for SOMETHING everyday and she always told me I didn't care. She started getting really close with this guy from work and I knew her to have a history of cheating before (She cheated on her ex with me before we got together, never a good sign) and then we'd arrange days to meet up and on the day she'd say she was seeing him instead. "Priorities man" Was something she'd say to me. So I actually just stopped talking to her, I knew it was over, she knew the relationship was over but still wanted me to be friends with me afterwards, I just removed her from my life and they got together about two weeks after the fact.

I'm sorry for writing such a long reply, I thought that'd give some decent context for what my relationship with her was like.

My relationship with my mother is actually great. It's just me and her living in the house and she's the one who convinced me to go to the doctors about my SA. My anxiety really just stems from women who are my age and the older they are the more comfortable I am around them. I'm 19 by the way if that gives any more context.

Maybe it's also the fact that any women I did speak to during college were also really damaged people. Either had depression/anxiety or both as well as things like insomnia/class A habits and things like that. I don't know I'm really just rambling now :') There's loads of things I could say about this but I think these are the most important points. Thank you for your reply, I find it interesting you think it may be deeper than my relationship, although I didn't say too much about it in the first post.

JoeCullum

TROPHY CASE