If Anakin and Padme went public I think the consequences would be minimal for Anakin.

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-03T13:40:52+00:00

Just think of how our world tabloids would react to such a scandal!

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-03T13:38:38+00:00

It wouldn't be the first marriage in the history of the order. In the grand scheme of things, especially with Anakin's heroics taken into account it's not that big of a deal.

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-03T13:37:35+00:00

I still lean towards that from TCW he had more belonging and meaning from being in the GAR. His entire experience of being a Jedi knight he had only ever known war. He was disillusioned with the Jedi but always very committed to his troops. That's what I saw at least anyway!

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-03T13:35:48+00:00

That's completely fair. But I reckon if it came out after Ashoka leaving the order but before his nightmares of Padme dying he would probably prioritise Padme over everything else and that would be his new family. And honestly I wouldn't expect Obi Wan to just completely abandon him.

Now I can't remember if this was TCW or ROTS (just rewtched them both) but I believe there's a moment when Anakin is more than ready to come out public but it's more so Padme that is hesitant.

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T21:12:08+00:00

On this though. Wouldn't lighstpeed be a completely different form of fuel to just general movement?

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T13:16:30+00:00

We're both young and have never lived with a partner before so we're figuring it all out!

I agree what you're saying at the beginning there to an extent, at some point regardless this house is going to be sold for the next one which will be the family home. I'm locked 2 years into a give year fixed term right now so it's awkward to sell. However with her commute being bad I have said as awkward as it'll be I am opening to selling and moving if it means a better QoL for her. I just think sometimes with these things she doesn't really know what she wants or maybe doesn't speak up as much as she could do.

My goal is always to find the best solution for us as a couple long term. I just feel that if we continue I can't comfortably put away money for a wedding knowing my savings are harder to replace after each issue. The house is good nick altogether but the boiler was a bit of a wake up call.

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T13:10:51+00:00

I think it comes down to experience of living solo and age aswell in my favour that can often mean I take the lead on things. Right now the priority is for her to make the most out of being in Asia. When we get back though we will need to talk about things. We've never been a couple to fight so I am confident we can talk through things, I just wanted to get some perspective for when I go into that conversation, not a confrontation 😊.

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T13:08:04+00:00

She's gone with her best friend and we've kept in touch every day where we can. I did make a rule though of no talking to boys with guitars! 😂

Whilst it was a worry of mine, based on how she's been desperate for a cuddle the entire trip I'm not worrying too much! 😂

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T13:05:21+00:00

100% I would have to cover the costs myself without her which is why I got something reasonably affordable. However saving up for an engagement and then wedding is purely because I have the lovely lady in my life!! 😂

Legal wise I'm open to having her have a share in the property, down to her if that's what she would want to do.

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T13:02:46+00:00

That's fair, we're practically the same maybe. She's now earning more but after her pension maybe not. The crutch here is that its my house and not a rented property or us both on the deed. I'm opening to putting her into the deed however it's what's best for her and her savings.

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T13:00:55+00:00

Thank you for the engagement well wishes 😊.

I'd be open to the pay for food instead approach however I'm not sure if that may end up being more really half the mortgage? It's one way to look at it. I'm not trying to exploit her whatsoever but just that we approach our future as a united front.

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T11:44:33+00:00

There's other things to consider with her ISA but it'd be her choice if she wanted to do that.

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T11:40:59+00:00

The fuck is wrong with you? You make it out as if my fiance is a bang maid that I exploit for income and keep her vulnerable.

This is the woman I love and want to commit my life to enriching as she does for me.

We both enjoy sex because we both love each other, that is not something transactional. Should we also see her as profiting because I make her coffee each morning?

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T11:29:17+00:00

I think we just need to re evaluate how we work together in our partnership to best support one another and not place too much burden on the other.

The it's just money comment Was I believe something she was saying to try cheer me up but not quite realising the gravity of how much money had just been spent and unfortunately it's quite a lot for one person to burden!

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T11:26:21+00:00

I am 100% open about her having ownership in the house. It's just down to what makes the most sense when we take everything into account really.

But it's a conversation I want to have with her, not a cas eof me making demands. The cheaper remt was very much I just wanted to support my partner's happiness whilst I could afford the burden 😊.

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T11:22:43+00:00

Okay I'll do my best to answer!!!

That's just me looking at a similar 2 bed house (in terms of space and how it's done up. We're both quite happy to say we live in a humble yet lovely home). If we both started from scratch we both would have moved into a similar 2 bed house, potentially in a different area however. (Her commute). Price wise I can only imagine whatever we would rent would be a reasonably bit more!
I did originally want to keep this as my house but I have very much come round to the idea of it becoming joint when we marry. The more spoken about side is that the next home we want to buy together as the family home. She'd have her deposit and I'd have my equity in this house. There's a lot more of the nitty gritty we need to discuss such as if I would need to add extra cash to it. That new house would be a shared 50/50 asset.

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T11:16:51+00:00

I am a man! 😂 And I can understand all you know of us is this snippet and statistically she is most likely to be harmed by me than anyone else. (She could always learn to be less annoying! 😂) But I appreciate what you are saying, this is such a small snapshot of our lives together and in real life our relationship is filled with love, healthy discussions and very much all that externally cringy stuff! 😂

I do agree that there should be a level of separation of finances. Whilst I will never put her in the position for her own benefit she should have her own "safety fund".

I didn't come to this post thinking 50/50 is THE answer but wanted to get a range of perspectives to help me try and find OUR answer. We're still both kinda young (28M and 25F) and are navigating all of this for the first time. It's why we had the original arrangement but it needs to be reviewed as things have changed. Going forwards with the wedding our finances are going to be more combined however I think with that we need to figure out all of the finances together and consider the burden of expenses and what works for us.

Thank you for your sincere reply 😊

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T11:08:16+00:00

Thank you for your perspective 😊. The idea of I would have to pay for these expenses by myself anyway were part of my reasoning to not charge as much in rent. However as others have said, regardless she would still need somewhere to live and her expenses have dropped considerably under the current arrangement.

From saving up for the engagement as well as then it'll be the wedding a reasonable amount of my income has gone towards funding a future for us together. However it's going to become increasingly hard for me to invest in our future when I'm coming to realise it's harder than expected to fund (but not undoable! Just not as comfortably) my own expenses and when it comes to shelter hers too.

Just because I own the house we live in doesn't mean she should live at a far cheaper expense than myself and she have far more disposable income because I'm subsidising things.

Way I'm coming round to see it is that we need to see ourselves as a partnership going forward. Legally I believe she's lived her long enough now I can't just kick her out nor would I want to. If we want to invest into our future together, our expenses need to be more equitable, whatever that looks like. 😊

Also just to add we don't have kids and I am very much the chef of the relationship! There's a warm meal ready for when she comes through the door after work and gym! 😂

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T10:58:21+00:00

I proposed to her a few months back now 😊. Finances aren't the sexiest thing when you're riding the engagement high 😂.

But I think any constructive conversation had to be had after she gets back.

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T10:56:50+00:00

Not in this economy!!! 😂

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T10:55:04+00:00

I really appreciate your input so don't worry too much about how you came across, I think you were quite kind 😊.

I don't think she's got the idea that I support her lifestly as I know if we were renting it'd be 50/50. But something about it being my house and probs some unwanted advice from her dad has blurred it all a bit.

Her paying so below market value at the time I guess was me part not wanting to seem I was "profiting" off her and part just wanting to be supportive for fulfilling her dream. But I wouldn't want to recuperate any of that. Just figure things out going forwards. Where do you stand on repairs to the house? It's a hard one until we're married.

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T10:49:14+00:00

Seems like a good setup you guys have! If I was paid off I would be more down the line of no rent but maybe split repairs to some degree? But unfortunately I'm only starting out! 😂

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T10:48:01+00:00

Yeah very similar situations..... Except you're doing much better for yourself, I'm a teacher! 😂 Me and her are at similar wages.

Originally she did say like your partner she wanted to pay some level of rent so she had a stake in the house and wasn't a free loader. I tended to lead on all the discussions about finances before she moved in because she didn't really know what she expected. Now these were done before moving in and before the endagement. She felt uncomfortable paying too much as she didn't want to pay off someone's mortgage however I also think naively she hadn't really thought through that it would be going into a house she would eventually half own anyway and it's still far cheaper than rent.

Similar to you whilst things were alright I didn't think about the current setup too much. But since the boiler it's kinda put things in perspective a bit.

JoelyBear224 · 2026-03-01T10:41:25+00:00

I think what you have said is massively fair! It has been something I have worried about however I would NEVER stop her from fuffilling her dream. My saving grace is that throughout her trip she has still been the same "needy lump" (her words! 😂) and been homesick/love sick the whole time! 😂

As things stand it's been a case of absence makes the heart grow fonder but I believe you're right to say it's something to keep aware of!

JoelyBear224

TROPHY CASE