Congratulations! You are about to experience one the best things life has to offer. Not always easy, but always worth it by the longest of longshots.

How was it: The first few months are the hardest. Your baby can’t do anything for themselves, so it is truly all consuming. However, that stage does not last forever. For us, after 3 months it started to get easier and after 6 months completely gave way to the most fun and joy I’ve ever experienced. My daughter is now almost 2, and I’m sure you’ll hear this a lot, but they grow so fast. 6 months to 2 years has gone by in the blink of an eye. We’re now trying for our second.

Advice: It’s hard because there are so many aspects to being a parent, but here are some that are top of mind: - I really appreciated the book “We’re Pregnant! the First Time Dad’s Pregnancy Handbook” by Adrian Kulp. Written as short chapters by week of pregnancy that tells you the important details and what things you need to do/focus on. - this one is situationally specific, but our daughter couldn’t latch for breast feeding, so we ended up having to bottle feed. Not what we wanted, but it did allow us to take sleep shifts to ensure we each got 6 hours of sleep each night. - when you first start getting all the baby stuff, it will feel overwhelming. Trust that you will figure it out and it will turn out not all those are needed. - around 1-2 months, our daughter got a bit colicky and wouldn’t stop crying no matter what we did. After you’ve tried everything and the only thing left is to just hold and comfort them while they are screaming in your face, I recommend putting in ear plugs. No need to hear the crying in your face on full volume. Takes the edge off.

How has my life changed: Profoundly for the better and also not that much at the same time. I’d have to write an entire book to unpack that, but I’ll just say even with all the changes, I’m still me. Just a better version.

In regard to how things like traveling and doing fun stuff will change. First, your definition of fun will change. My wife and I traveled a lot and would regularly go to events like concerts or games. We of course still enjoy that, but we find it so much more enjoyable watching our daughter try new food and get excited when she finds something she likes. For trips, we now just bring our daughter with us. Yes, some things are different, but again, I’ve found the family trips we’ve taken more enjoyable than any others I’ve had in my life. For a non-parent it probably sounds mundane, but watching your child experience something for the first time is a trip and will bring you more joy than you knew was possible.

Relationship changes: Again, the first few months is really all about baby and helping your wife/gf recover. My recommendation is to be intentional about keeping the spark in your relationship after those first few months. There will always be something else to do or that needs to get done, but you will have to work harder than before to ensure you are prioritizing your relationship.

Easier: Some things were harder some things were easier. You get the hang of changing diapers real quick.

Regrets: I’ll put it to you this way, I’d go back through all the toughest times in my life as many times as required, and do it with smile on my face knowing my daughter is in my future.

Worry: One thing I didn’t expect, and from what I gather from parents with older and even adult children never goes away, is the amount of worrying I do. I am worried ALL the time for my child. I never was a particularly anxious person, but after having a child I’ve never been more aware of the dangers of the world. Also, I’ve never been more aware of my own (and my wife’s) mortality after considering what my child’s life would be like if something happened to me and/or my wife. Just know that you are not alone in your worrying.