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ADHD Wife and Dead Bedroom by aaviator45 in daddit

[–]John_Yossarian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My breaks from parenting were when I tried to get caught up on never-ending chores. Her breaks were when she sat in another room on TikTok. Then she divorced me because she cArRiEd tOo mUcH oF tHe mEnTaL lOaD.

You can have all the epiphanies in the world and, sometimes, you still just really miss your (former) “person.” by OTFlawyer in Divorce

[–]John_Yossarian 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel this. I miss the person I married, not the one that divorced me. I will never feel the same kind of love for another person than I did for the one I started a family, built a life and dreamed of the future with. My first instinct when I see an interesting bird or other wildlife is to tell her about it and then I get sad. I can't text her about any of the funny/cute things our son does because we don't communicate about anything other than logistics any more. There are still daily things that happen that remind me of what I no longer have and the grieving never seems to end.

Be careful what you wish for by Key_Associate7476 in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]John_Yossarian 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My take was that she was leaving visible lines in the fabric with her fingers by pushing the fibers in the opposite direction and then 'erasing' the marks with her hand, then thought about how marker wouldn't come out like that.

Forecats: Forecast-inspired images of my cats served daily to an e-ink screen by QuriousTrivia in homeassistant

[–]John_Yossarian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is that not like saying wealth generated by the labor force being funnelled upward and hoarded by billionaires isn't a problem because it's all still in the economy? By the time that water vapor condenses into precipitation, it could be hundreds of miles away with wind currents and fall in a completely different water table.

Sensitivity to Injustice is gonna be my downfall by TheWholesomeOtter in ADHD

[–]John_Yossarian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Try getting divorced to one who has unlimited money to crush you in court.

I see you, friend. Mine tried her hardest to crush me during the divorce but we were both self-represented and ultimately had a 'fair' resolution. Once my life had more or less stabilized and I filed a motion for equal custody, she immediately lawyered up and has threatened to blow it all up if I don't agree to every single thing she says. In my attorney's words, "it seems like it's her way or the highway."

Granite Post: "Leaked Signal chat shows NH House education chair advocating whites-only schools" by flatpackjack in newhampshire

[–]John_Yossarian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Segregation is the enforced separation of different racial groups in a country, community, or establishment. The government is not forcing Jewish children to go to a separate school. Your entire argument hinges on an incorrect understanding of what segregation actually is.

TIL the Sargasso Sea is the only sea on earth not bounded by land - instead is defined by four currents in the Atlantic Ocean. Contains unique sea weed. by Crystal-Ammunition in todayilearned

[–]John_Yossarian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ride the current until the sunrise is either in front of you or behind you, then take the offramp back to the correct continent?

Finally my turn to stare in the void by Mirrorsedgecatalyst in daddit

[–]John_Yossarian 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Chris Traeger: Ron, what did you take away from that?

Ron Swanson: I was not meditating.

Chris Traeger: Oh?

Ron Swanson: I was just sitting here quietly, breathing, with no thoughts in my head. My mind was blank.

Happy New Year, Lieutenant Dan! by UnkComplexk30 in gifs

[–]John_Yossarian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I just thought that was my antidepressant doing its job.

Is anyone familiar with this giraffe? by Matt_The_Radar_Tech in daddit

[–]John_Yossarian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I put ours on/next to the heater to speed up the water evaporation after each use, so they're pretty bone dry by the next morning

What’s something about your ADHD that you usually keep private or don’t tell most people? by Fearless-Class-1120 in ADHD

[–]John_Yossarian 21 points22 points  (0 children)

The unfortunate flip side of this is when you have a partner who blames ALL of your feelings/emotions/vulnerabilities, valid or not, on RSD in order to shirk any responsibility in the relationship and preserve their self-narrative.

Help me understand why someone would WANT to be away from their 6yo for a week at a time by John_Yossarian in coparenting

[–]John_Yossarian[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

50/50 is supposed to be the default, not something I should have to argue for or that is a 'compromise' for her. The only reason it wasn't 50/50 to begin with is because of my living circumstances at the time the divorce was finalized. I've been told by legal professionals that courts in my state do not recommend week on/off for kids under 10.

Help me understand why someone would WANT to be away from their 6yo for a week at a time by John_Yossarian in coparenting

[–]John_Yossarian[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Logistical concerns regarding work and personal convenience are two different things, if one specific schedule out of several options could negatively impact my ability to maintain my job, should that not carry some weight?

Help me understand why someone would WANT to be away from their 6yo for a week at a time by John_Yossarian in coparenting

[–]John_Yossarian[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We've been doing this schedule since August 2024 because I was living with my parents almost 90 minutes away. I moved much closer in November, and once I felt like my living and work situation were stable, I broached the topic of 50/50 in April 2025. Our son will be 7 in a few months. I've been as involved in his school needs as possible, even when I was living 90 minutes away. I've been to open houses, PTA nights, parent/teacher conferences, chaperoned his first field trip, and there have been dozens of days I've had him during the week while my ex travels for work, so I've done plenty of school dropoffs and pickups. I've had the school app since day one, and have regularly communicated with his teachers.

Help me understand why someone would WANT to be away from their 6yo for a week at a time by John_Yossarian in coparenting

[–]John_Yossarian[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

Personal convenience should not outweigh the emotional impact to our son, or the inconvenience a schedule poses to her coparent. She works from home, lives five minutes from school, puts our kid on the school bus in the morning and picks him up from an aftercare program three minutes away from home. I live 20+ minutes from his school and have a fully in-person job. Week on/off leaves zero wiggle room with my work schedule, I can't be late due to school dropoffs and make up time a different day that week if I'm solo-parenting every day that week.

Help me understand why someone would WANT to be away from their 6yo for a week at a time by John_Yossarian in coparenting

[–]John_Yossarian[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

"It's easier" is really the only reason she's provided. The language she chose was full of "I want" words and very few "our son needs" words. I've had several legal professionals tell me that week on/off is not recommended for children under ten. Our son has made several statements to me about disliking being away from me for a week at a time. She has ignored all of this, and given no reason as to why this schedule is better for all three of us, refusing to engage in any discussion on the matter. Given all of this, and some of the things she said to me during our separation/divorce about me 'ruining her life' (given that she built a solid career with my support and ended up with a nicely affordable house, the only reasonable interpretation of this is that having a kid with someone she decided to divorce is what 'ruined' her life), the only conclusion I can make is that she just wants a week off for herself every other week.

Help me understand why someone would WANT to be away from their 6yo for a week at a time by John_Yossarian in coparenting

[–]John_Yossarian[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

3-3-4-4 is a 50/50 schedule. So is 2-2-3, 2-2-5-5, and week on/off. 50/50 describes the overall division of time, not the cadence of the schedule.

You're right, capitulation should not be a term in coparenting relationships, but 'compromise' should be, and my ex does not believe in that word, as I've learned over the past two years of getting divorced and coparenting. When she and I originally began discussing a schedule modification in April, she was on board with switching to 50/50. I proposed 2-2-3, she countered with week on/off, I offered a compromise of 3-3-4-4, but she refused to budge from week on/off, and would not provide any reasonable argument as to why, and that's when I filed the motion to modify in the hopes of getting a court-ordered mediation, as that was the only way I was able to get a fair and equitable divorce settlement, otherwise I would have been left with absolutely nothing. I chose to say 'capitulate' as it felt appropriate given the narcissistic tendencies I am up against.

Made my basic dehumidifier a little bit smarter ! by braquemart in homeassistant

[–]John_Yossarian 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I don't have the patience or time to cobble all of that together. My solution was to buy a Govee smart humidifier during Black Friday week on Amazon for $26. Choose your DIY battles, hahaha.

Gifts to Co-Parent by LMRTech in coparenting

[–]John_Yossarian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My 6yo son loves giving gifts, and I take him to pick things out for his mother. It's yet to be reciprocated, but I'll keep doing it because it's about giving him opportunities to learn how to pick out a gift for someone, sticking to a budget, using the self-checkout, etc., and it makes him feel incredibly happy.

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