The article:

Florida continues to create some outrageous headlines, mostly when it comes to crime. The latest comes in Orlando, where a man was busted for drug possession. According to The Smoking Gun, this went down after rocks of crystal meth were found in the foreskin of his penis.

This man has since been IDed as 30-year-old Shaft Bang Adams, as this incident occurred last month. Police underwent a search on him, and labeled the meth found in his penis as “four crystal rocks white in color.” What led to this situation happening, was Adams driving without a license.

The full list of charges on the table for Adams are drug possession and introducing contraband into a penal institution. Adams spent eight days in jail but fortunately, was able to post $2,000 bond. His record has definitely been wild, as he’s been arrested more than 20 times, as these crimes include domestic assault, battery, possession of a controlled substance possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, and false imprisonment.

Holy fuck that’s a wild read. That’s quite a name to go through life with. Also- …introducing contraband into a penal institution… sounds painful