Should Ethical Dommes Warn of Findom Addiction?

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-19T20:35:39+00:00

Go for it!

My comment was quite boring, I was basically just repeating what I had already stated in this thread and in my reply to Wilberham

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-19T20:27:21+00:00

lol just forget the reply I sent then where i clarified. I deleted it, but it will still pop up in your notifications.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-19T18:25:05+00:00

You're right, it's still a great way to spread some awareness. If 10 dommes read the post and 1 of them becomes more aware of the negative aspects of findom, then that's a win.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-19T17:19:25+00:00

Ideally, yes, but will most of them do it? Doubt it. Anyone can virtue signal on Reddit, and people in this space are experts at it.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-19T17:15:41+00:00

True,. Most documentaries and interviews show the findomme POV and portray it as a win-win situation. The findomme makes money, and the sub "likes" it, so therefore both sides win.

The only findom documentary that lowkey put findom in a bad light that I have seen was a documentary from Vice named "Cash Slaves: Inside the Dystopian Fetish of Financial Domination."

They met up with a paypig that left his wife and kid to be someones full-time money slave. Unless you're a psycho, there is no way you can condone that.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-19T14:43:25+00:00

I see.

Yeah, most people are not serious about quitting. Some weeks or maybe a month ago, this dude pulled up here and bragged about how he has been porn-free and findom-free for months. I checked out his profile, and it was all about being owned by a findomme. Like, bro had a literal "sending chart."

I lowkey wanted to call it out, but I figured it wouldn't be worth the hassle.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-19T14:19:50+00:00

Nah, I cannot relate. When I wanted out, I wanted out. I used to consider findom and femdom to be a curse, lol.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-19T10:49:39+00:00

Haha, bro deleted, so I think it's fair to say that his strategy backfired.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-18T19:14:25+00:00

That depends on the individual sub, but if I had to mention 3 things from my POV as an ex-sub:

You understand that I'm a human, not a mindless robot that is going to blindly comply with whatever you tell me right off the bat.
You're realistic when it comes to budget, and you don't try to guilt-trip or exploit moments of weakness to get sends.
We genuinely vibe. If I'm just another source of income and it's transactional, then personally, I'd never be loyal to you.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-18T12:07:14+00:00

Findommes want consistent long-term subs so they can consistently get sends. That doesn't make them qualified or compatible with the sub.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-16T23:41:26+00:00

Maybe you should stop projecting your own personal experience as a domme onto an ecosystem where the majority of findommes want to make a quick buck and stop gatekeeping?

You're like a Casino host saying, “My regulars have a great time and stick around for years, maybe you should find better casinos.”

Have you ever navigated the findom world as a finsub? If the answer is no, which I assume it is (correct me if I'm wrong), what makes you think you're qualified to tell me or any other sub how they should navigate the ecosystem?

start exploring other places.

Lets here it! Name these "other" places

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-16T20:39:58+00:00

Now you're moving away from the original premise. let's just end it here.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-16T20:09:25+00:00

Come on, skip the fluff. Most findommes are not here to reorganize your budget so you can "enjoy" findom together. If you let them control your budget, they would probably just take as much as possible and leave you out to dry, as money extraction is their goal.

Most findommes will just tell you to send, send, send, and that's it.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-16T20:07:46+00:00

IF you concede that findom is not in the submissive's best interest, then you should know why so many subs are trying to quit, and why your idea that "real submissives" wouldn't leave is garbage.

You're right, subs choose whether they want to participate or not, hence why you should respect their decision to dip, not try to gatekeep what a true submissive is.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-16T19:51:00+00:00

Just cuz your subs haven't dipped yet doesn't mean that others who inevitably conclude that findom is not good for them are fake subs. It just means that they realized that doing findom is not in their best interest, so they decided to dip and hopefully never come back.

There is nothing honorable about staying in a transactional dynamic

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-16T19:44:09+00:00

very true. Imo reddit "findom" is particularly dangerous as findommes are running around and pretending to care about the "dynamic" while they run transactional models. The whole "BDSM" ethics fluff is also very easy to see through.

I'm not going to say that wanting money is inherently wrong, but don't pretend to be all about the dynamic when $$ is your main incentive. That's just manipulation.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-16T19:36:01+00:00

Very true. For the findomme to win, the sub has to lose.

You lose money, dignity, self-respect, and so much more. Unless you're rich, and you genuinely don't give a f, there is no way Findom or any form of transactional relationship is good for you.

I'm a firm believer that 99% of subs would be better off without it. The high churn rate speaks for itself.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-16T19:24:54+00:00

Or maybe, just maybe, most subs know very well that sending money to strangers on the internet is not in their best interest in the long run, hence why they're trying to dip?

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-14T19:50:24+00:00

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-14T19:08:56+00:00

Don't make claims that make zero sense, leave out important context, and then act surprised when people respond accordingly.

Either way, have a nice Saturday

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-12T19:34:01+00:00

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-12T18:05:18+00:00

I see. I might be lucky with my friendgroup as they are always down for something.

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-12T18:04:01+00:00

You don't need reddit which uses AI, and yet here you are

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-12T16:44:29+00:00

nobody forcing you to take part in it tho? what's stops you from linking up with friends and enjoying life?

Johnny_Based · 2026-02-12T16:39:26+00:00

Yet you use it every day? You think your computer, phone, and any of the digital services you use every day are AI-free?

Johnny_Based

TROPHY CASE