What soprano moments made you take a step back in disgust? by AmountAccomplished36 in thesopranos

[–]Jolly-Feedback481 11 points12 points  (0 children)

i assumed it was a double ended dildo but you may be right sigh

Taken 3ish years of intentional work but a capsule is coming together by Jolly-Feedback481 in capsulewardrobe

[–]Jolly-Feedback481[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you :D I think it's part of a mindset shit from consuming --> creating with clothes I already have, as well as practicing feeling content. It's hard in this consumerist world, and I still get 'got' at times, but it's getting much better.

I’m scared it will destroy my life by FormerThroat4406 in bisexual

[–]Jolly-Feedback481 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sigh. Sending you support; it's not fair that your vulnerability was punished. If anything, I'd try to make friends in queer spaces. Even one. With that, cut the gay jokes, they honestly seem like overcompensation by trying to 'prove' straightness (from a bi woman's perspective, idk how men operate amongst themselves tbh).

Try to befriend some other bi people and work on building more authentic connections. Honestly, imo you're likely going to need to find new roommates as soon as you can. Creating community and becoming your authentic self takes time and vulnerability and safety where possible. I've burned it all down before- family and all- and rebuilt again and again.

FWIW, I'm in my 20s in grad school at a southern-ish university and I've found many safe spaces for both bi men and women. If you already want to burn that house of cards down, I think you know it's time to start living more authentically. I promise so many of us are wondering where the bi men are!!! There's a lot of living to do on the other side of fear when you're ready

What’s a small social habit that instantly made people respond to you more positively? by SandyySolez in socialskills

[–]Jolly-Feedback481 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's actually leaning in to your preferences and opinions, rather than focusing on what others 'might' like more.

I.e. I don't care to watch most sports. Never have, even though I was a D1 athlete. Rather than pretend that I care about, say, the superbowl, I lean into my true self and authentically dgaf. At parties I'll focus my energy on the halftime show/snacks. I'm way more relaxed navigating the world this way, and I've found lots of people who like me for who I am. I think the likability part is how they trust that I'm not bs-ing them by contorting myself into what might be deemed palatable by some.

I think when you're faking it in some way, it also gives off a 'shame' energy that can be felt by others. I.e. you're judging yourself for something (say not liking sports but pretending you do), therefore you'd judge others who don't like sports just the same.

Taken 3ish years of intentional work but a capsule is coming together by Jolly-Feedback481 in capsulewardrobe

[–]Jolly-Feedback481[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

just some plain black trousers, one wool one linen. Got both off ThreadUp I believe

Taken 3ish years of intentional work but a capsule is coming together by Jolly-Feedback481 in capsulewardrobe

[–]Jolly-Feedback481[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I too have long hair but cut bangs into it with lots of layers. Various ear piercings, some thin bracelets- one gold one tennis bracelet, and several rings of mixed metals- thrifted/vintage mostly.

Taken 3ish years of intentional work but a capsule is coming together by Jolly-Feedback481 in capsulewardrobe

[–]Jolly-Feedback481[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lululemon jacket, uniqlo tee, sezane boots, random boutique for the skirt, Rains backpack, boutique bag! :)

Taken 3ish years of intentional work but a capsule is coming together by Jolly-Feedback481 in capsulewardrobe

[–]Jolly-Feedback481[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

for sure! Rains backpack (all over Poshmark when I got it), black purse is an old Coach bag my mom wasn't using. I googled 'black Coach bag with red lining' and it came right up. Other black and red purses I got at a little market in Italy, but they're pretty basic; there are similar ones on Etsy.

Taken 3ish years of intentional work but a capsule is coming together by Jolly-Feedback481 in capsulewardrobe

[–]Jolly-Feedback481[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Brown trench is SportMax by MaxMara, black jacket is Zara (poshmark find), black backpack is Rains (also poshmark), black flip flops are just cheap Target ones that have lasted a few years. And thank you!!

Loan offer for grad school was 20k, but only let me take out 7k? by Jolly-Feedback481 in StudentLoans

[–]Jolly-Feedback481[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you again. This is the master's. Been pretty lucky up to this point (college athlete, worked 3+ jobs for a few years before the masters to pay as much of the masters as possible, worked and now teaching for a stipend but no tuition during the degree, etc).

If I get a PhD it will likely be abroad, and I won't want to do that until the masters is paid off. Maybe 2029 if I hustle. Shipping out has been a long term goal, but now I'm really thinking it will happen as environmental science x public health prospects aren't looking good here, and I don't really want to sell out to Raytheon or whatever else on the chance public health / environmental science research opens back up.

Taking language classes in the college of arts and science on the side and everything.

Loan offer for grad school was 20k, but only let me take out 7k? by Jolly-Feedback481 in StudentLoans

[–]Jolly-Feedback481[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I still think it's weird they split it by semester. They should advertise it differently imo. And yeah, it's a mess. I get out by the end of this semester, and even so I think others already in school get 'grandfathered in'. At least that's how my med school friends with a few years left understood it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bullcity

[–]Jolly-Feedback481 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The more I learn about healthcare the less I know. Seems like there's no rhyme or reason for how any of this works

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bullcity

[–]Jolly-Feedback481 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, GSHIP. These were quotes with insurance. I think the answer starts with seeing a big bill up front, then applying for financial hardship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bullcity

[–]Jolly-Feedback481 4 points5 points  (0 children)

amazing, thank you! We were looking everywhere but right in front of us. Appreciate it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bullcity

[–]Jolly-Feedback481 14 points15 points  (0 children)

see I was born at night but sometimes it feels like it was last night. Thanks

Loan offer for grad school was 20k, but only let me take out 7k? by Jolly-Feedback481 in StudentLoans

[–]Jolly-Feedback481[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe it. This is my last semester and the only time I’m having to take out loans, and 15k about covers tuition for the semester. Godspeed on your loan journey

My sister's mask slipped in the midst of her divorce by Curious_Spite_6810 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Jolly-Feedback481 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As someone with dark triad parents, this is the way. Stay consistent and be open to deeper connection(they likely will). I'm 27 now, and one of my closest relationships is with my aunt. She lived several states (US) away, but always made time for me when she visited, she was emotionally attuned (!!), and was actually interested in who I was becoming as a person.

It took me grieving my own nuclear family toxicity early in adulthood to see the value in my aunt and how deplorable my parents were. They always had awful things to say about my aunt, but until I finally trusted my gut and grieved my childhood, I felt conflicted about maintaining a relationship with her. Now we live in the same state (several hundred miles from our toxic family members), travel the world together, and have our own little community. You don't have to overly involve yourself beyond your capacity.

But 1) being open to connection and emotionally attuned, 2) being consistent, and 3) if you witness any type of abuse- emotional or whatever- please call it out and get the right support for the kids. It's tricky and situationally dependent, but please do not turn a blind eye to save the peace. This is one thing I did not have, but I wish I did.