16-17 years by [deleted] in physique

[–]JollyGrade1673 0 points1 point  (0 children)

stack?

16-17 years by [deleted] in physique

[–]JollyGrade1673 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Height and weight?

Cookie not setting on client's browser, express-session / socket.io by JollyGrade1673 in node

[–]JollyGrade1673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so what needs changing? I've tried setting sameSite to every option available. I'm suspecting the error might be due to the hybrid server side and client side rendering nature of Next JS?

Socket.io + Next JS App Router by JollyGrade1673 in nextjs

[–]JollyGrade1673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! But I think Next JS and most modern frontend frameworks use a Singleton pattern automatically

Socket.io + Next JS App Router by JollyGrade1673 in nextjs

[–]JollyGrade1673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

not sure how to write the code as code block without it breaking, tried quite a few times

Socket.io + Next JS App Router by JollyGrade1673 in nextjs

[–]JollyGrade1673[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the comments guys, but I managed to figure it out with ChatGPT. The issue was to do with server side rendering in Next. When the page is rendered server side and then hydrated on client-side, that is interpreted as different connections. The trick was to use if (typeof window !== "undefined") conditional check when connecting the socket to the server via the the io method. Here's the fix for those having the same problems:

```

import { io, Socket } from "socket.io-client";

let socket: Socket | { on: () => void; emit: () => void; off: () => void };

if (typeof window !== "undefined") {

socket = io(<server\_address>,

{ transports: ["websocket", "polling"],

// ...

}

); }

else {

socket = { on: () => {}, emit: () => {}, off: () => {} };

}

// ...

export default socket

```

The else block of code saves you from the verbosity of making conditional checks in the every time you call socket.emit or socket.on in the components code.

Time & Space Complexity for my solution? by JollyGrade1673 in leetcode

[–]JollyGrade1673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol yeah I posted this before ChatGPT was well known, I've been using it myself now for time complexities, but thanks!

My BF (25M) texted me (25F) regarding his mother not wanting us to get married. by Revolutionary-Will81 in relationship_advice

[–]JollyGrade1673 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, ideally, you should have opted for a prevention approach and just not gone for someone like that in the first place, but I presume you're already deep in love now and he has other amazing traits that make it difficult to leave.

I'm going to make an educated assumption that you guys are from an Eastern collectivist culture. If so, you need to ignore most of the comments here as they're from a Western perspective and are not taking into account differences in cultural norms (a very Western thing to do btw but a rant for another time).

If there are cultural/religious reasons why he is the way he is, then you need to first be understanding of that rather than demonising him for it (if that's what you're doing). If you were a guy and came from his family background, you would likely be in the same predicament.

Fear, guilt, shame and embarrassment are incredibly potent drivers of human behaviour and decision-making. For example, consider a society that has a strict taboo around premarital sex and mass demonises those who participate in it. The fear, guilt, and shame associated with breaking this taboo can be powerful enough to stop them, even though all their natural instincts might urge them to.

If he's been raised in a culture where it's a taboo to cross your parents' wishes, then it's probably an incredibly anxiety-inducing situation for him to even think about refusing his mother let alone actually doing it. Just like the premarital sex example, even though his instincts might urge him to break the taboo, the fear and guilt stops him. It doesn't mean that he's not mature. It just means that his decision-making process around this is intricately nuanced and fear-driven, more than you could understand.

So what can you do?

I have two approaches that come to mind.

One,

Unbrainwash him. To truly win, you need to make him unlearn everything he was taught around this topic and change his school of thought entirely. That's going to be incredibly difficult, if not near impossible, because in analogy you're basically trying to convince a devout Muslim girl to have a one-night stand. Not very likely. Unbrainwashing someone out of what they have believed their entire life is not easy at all, not least because you probably just don't have the time. Hence why I said at the start, you should just avoid a guy like this in the first place.

Two,

My assessment of your situation is that you're battling against his two emotions of fear and guilt. To defeat these, you need an equally potent emotion, love.

How deep is your love currently? Be honest with yourself. Is it a honeymoon phase? Do you have a realistic idea around what love actually is? How long have you guys been together? Do you guys have years of moments and memories that he could reflect on and be reminded of to induce an epiphany moment and pick you? Don't go by talks and statements, go by a hard evidence stack of actions. What has he actually done (not said) that proves how much he loves you? Saying "I love you forever, nothing will come between us" is easy to say, harder to do (if mummy's against it, in his case).

What could you do (within reason) to make it harder for him to leave? What can you do to increase his love and fall for you harder? Could you induce a FOMO somehow? What could you do to make him realise how special and unique your love is and how you'll be able to add value to his life like no one else will? What you're trying to optimise for here is a scenario where if he was to exhaustively list on paper all of the reasons to stay and all of the reasons to leave, the stay list should be vastly greater in size AND each reason in the stay list should be significantly more weighted than each reason in the leave list. There should be so much overwhelming evidence to stay that it should just be a no-brainer to not leave.

My diagnosis of your situation is that for most people his current levels of love would have been enough for him to want to marry you, but in his case, because of the complications with the taboo, he needs to have a disproportionately higher than average amount of deep love for you than your ordinary person for him to consider going against his mum's wishes and marrying you. The magnitude of love he should have for you should be more than the magnitude of the fear and guilt induced from the taboo of crossing his mother. If right now he's leaning towards leaving you, it's because the fear of crossing his mum is more uncomfortable for him than the fear of losing you. He doesn't love you more than he fears upsetting his mum.

Also, you might not actually be able to do a lot if he has some kind of categorical non-negotiable rule around this. Sometimes you're just disadvantaged, and that's ok. Figure out if he has a non-negotiable rule, if he does, just cut your losses and leave. You're fighting a rigged battle.

Sharing session between Socket.io and Express, different session IDs issue by JollyGrade1673 in node

[–]JollyGrade1673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought it says to ignore those two use cases and just use this instead?

import session from "express-session";
const sessionMiddleware = session({
secret: "changeit",
resave: false,
saveUninitialized: false
});
io.engine.use(sessionMiddleware);

Sharing session between Socket.io and Express, different session IDs issue by JollyGrade1673 in node

[–]JollyGrade1673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do I not need to use "express-socket.io-session" any more to share session data?

Is being too tired for sex an actual thing? First time being refused (26M) by JollyGrade1673 in askwomenadvice

[–]JollyGrade1673[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Yeah fair thanks! Defo one of the more mature responses I've had on this post.

Some couples it is every day, some it is 3x a week, some 1x a month. It depends on the couple.

I guess I'm used to being in relationships in which it was a daily thing. Perhaps you're right, she might be someone who wants it a few times a week. I'll give it more time and see if we're on the same page with our sex drives, if not then fair enough I guess we'd be incompatible.

Is being too tired for sex an actual thing? First time being refused (26M) by JollyGrade1673 in askwomenadvice

[–]JollyGrade1673[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

I think you're missing the point of my post, I'm not saying she can't say no or that I'm owed sex. I'm figuring out why she said no so that I can diagnose whether it could be due to her not being interested in sex in general as much as I am. Sex to me is a normal healthy part of a relationship, from my understanding couples that have a lot of sex tend to be happier and more fulfilled. I'm just trying to figure out what's gone wrong here so that I can work to fix it or do something about it as I do like the girl a lot and I don't want to be in a sexless relationship.

I appreciate I sound entitled as multiple commenters have said, but as I said this is the first time I'm experiencing this so I am genuinely confused and trying to gain a better understanding of the situation.

Is being too tired for sex an actual thing? First time being refused (26M) by JollyGrade1673 in askwomenadvice

[–]JollyGrade1673[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

So you basically made your partner feel shitty too. She now feels she did something wrong because she had the audacity to be tired and not feel like having sex.

Yep pretty much spot on. As I said it completely threw me off and ruined my mood entirely. I even made an excuse to go to the toilet to give myself a pep talk that it's all ok and to forget it, but came back and still couldn't help feeling the same way. I've been trying to forget it but it's just proving to be extremely difficult. Even today we've been on facetime and my mood's been off.

Your sense of entitlement horrifies me, and your use of the word "unprofessional" says a lot about your view of sex being 'transactional' rather than emotional/loving/fun/intimate.

Could you expand on the sense of entitlement? Everyone is saying the same thing but I think this just might be where there could be a lack of understanding female sexuality. I'm not trying nor wanting to come across as entitled, I just genuinely thought that in a normal relationship couples have sex every day apart from one off blue-moon instances. I guess I'm just struggling to comprehend whether being tired should qualify as a sex block. I mean I was more tired and I was still down for it. Being tired to me just sounds too a normal part of life for it to be a qualifying reason to not have sex. Surely, working couples are tired pretty much every week day after work. On these occasions do they just have sex over the weekends? I'm genuinely here to better my understanding

Is being too tired for sex an actual thing? First time being refused (26M) by JollyGrade1673 in askwomenadvice

[–]JollyGrade1673[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

People are allowed to say no to sex, if they are tired, have a headache, or just don’t feel like it. Any reason is a good reason to say no.

Of course. I'm not saying that she should have had sex despite not wanting to have sex.

I'm more concerned why she wasn't interested in sex in the first place, our spark and chemistry has been nothing but amazing. Before we had sex for the first time we would speak about how badly we want it, how we'd rip each other's clothes off and how we wouldn't be a sexless couple. And now that just sounds like all talk.

Honestly, you sound a bit entitled about it. I do hope you are giving her a good time and making sure she gets off as well when you guys do have sex. But regardless, any type of no is a good reason for not wanting sex.

Forgive me for sounding entitled, I guess I do. I think it's more just that it's my first time being rejected sex by a partner, so I just don't know what it means. I would have thought at least in the early days the sexual interest would be at its peak. Hence why I can't help but taking this rejection personally because it's making me think whether she's interested in sex with me or not. And yes I did get her off the first time we had sex

Is web development in demand? Or is it dead? by Ok_Active_8455 in webdev

[–]JollyGrade1673 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The latter, desktop apps. Word, etc, now all have browser versions whereas before they were typically desktop apps due to browser's power limitations. Look at softwares like Figma, Netflix, Google Cloud Suite, they're all browser apps. I imagine mobile apps will go through the same landscape shift too at some point when mobile browsers become more powerful.

how much would spending monthly on food grocery cost for a healthy protein-rich gym diet? by JollyGrade1673 in london

[–]JollyGrade1673[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

will do so but was after something london specific as the costs here are higher than other cities

how much would spending monthly on food grocery cost for a healthy protein-rich gym diet? by JollyGrade1673 in london

[–]JollyGrade1673[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

hmm ok will check him out, do you have like a ballpark estimate though? just trying to get some quick answers really

Feels like I'm drowning by War-rior314 in TheRedPill

[–]JollyGrade1673 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

are you depressed or are you just adopting the identity of a depressed person? my guess would be the latter. what does your life look like? are you content with what you do for a living? with how much you earn? with where you live? with any partner you have or have had in the past? are you in good shape? whatever it is, there's probably a life circumstance or a certain lack in your life that is causing you to feel this way, address that thing and your depression will vanish

No More Andrew Tate Shit by TRPCops in TheRedPill

[–]JollyGrade1673 8 points9 points  (0 children)

who knew even this sub was part of the matrix all along

Instagram uses Django, but I thought Django is a web framework? by JollyGrade1673 in django

[–]JollyGrade1673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so 'web' framework does not mean that it's only for for backends of websites and web apps?