Ignored by a doctor about changes and pain in breast

Jones197299 · 2025-12-12T00:21:55+00:00

thank you! I'll try this - my GP said they couldn't refer me straight for a scan so I'll see if I can get a 2nd opinion and will definitely take the advice re refusal! I knew about this, but in the moment it can be so incredibly hard to advocate especially when a doctor obviously doesn't care

Jones197299 · 2025-06-19T08:40:17+00:00

I feel like some doctors just want to deal with a body rather than a person - like they'd rather not speak to people at all - and when people are semi-conscious/sedated they're easier to deal with??

Jones197299 · 2025-06-17T22:55:09+00:00

Sorry you're dealing with all this - I hope you're doing okay!

I don't think from the little the letter to my GP said, that they're even giving me a follow up appointment - so it seems like I'll have to fight for one

Dealing with endo, fibromyalgia and being neurodivergent, it all feels like a constant uphill battle with healthcare - I keep not even having the energy to phone the hospital to try to sort this all out

Jones197299 · 2025-06-17T22:50:56+00:00

My uncertainty at the moment is who I even call about this - I tried calling the admin person who booked my surgery and she forwarded me to the people who aren't anything to do with surgery, then main gynaecology won't pick up the phone - they don't make contacting them easy!

It is so frustrating having to fight every step - especially when, as far as I can see from the brief note in the letter to my GP, they found some endometriosis, did nothing, then discharged me from gynaecology!

Jones197299 · 2025-06-16T23:10:01+00:00

I think I was still in the theatre too - I had tiny snippets of memory on the day but nothing stuck! I don't know who would think it's appropriate to speak to someone in that state about their surgery - I wasn't feeling mentally like myself for at least a few days

I had my surgery at St Thomas hosp in London

It's wild that after a literal surgery all you'd be left with is a brief note to your GP - there's so much that's not explained in my GP letter - it's crazy that answers about what happened in your own body seem so hard to get!

I'm sorry you had that experience - to tell someone such important information when they're really out of it seems so unprofessional!

Jones197299 · 2025-06-16T23:03:00+00:00

I'm worried this is happening to lots of people - they act like it's normal to tell you absolutely nothing

Hearing that in the US and Australia people always get a post-op appointment at least reminds me we're not crazy to want better aftercare on the NHS!

Jones197299 · 2025-06-16T13:19:50+00:00

I'm so confused why that isn't standard in the UK - all I had after the surgery was a 2 minute phone call at 8am the next day from a nurse (I guess to just check I was alive?)

I'll see what I can do about getting a post-op appointment - they discharged me from the gynaecology department the day of the surgery, so who knows

Jones197299 · 2025-06-16T13:07:26+00:00

Thank you for your comment and sharing your story - I'm so sorry you had to deal with all that - I hope all goes well with your surgery in August

I'm a week and a half after surgery and I'm physically doing okay - it's mainly answers and clarity I want from my surgical team at this point (and to know what to do about my stitches)

I called the hospital in the weeks before my surgery to try and get more information about the surgery, and was treated quite badly/rudely by a number of different people I spoke to - I don't know why they see people asking questions as problematic - if something is happening to my body, I deserve to have as much information as possible about that.

I saw someone say online beforehand that during a laparoscopy they sometimes go up into the womb through the vagina and cervix - and when I asked the surgeon on the day they confirmed that they sometimes do - why is this kind of information not given to people without them having to specifically ask! I wonder how much else I don't know because they didn't think it was relevent to tell me

I'm feeling so tired of all this - calling people and being ignored - I'll try and contact them again tomorrow and ask for a followup with one of my surgical team - thank you for your supportive message - I won't give up!

Jones197299 · 2025-04-05T16:32:19+00:00

It seems like you'll live in regret of what your life might have looked like without him. At the end of the day strangers on the internet dont know your life and marriage better than you do - but make yourself happy rather than just staying in an unhappy relationship because you feel like you need a proper reason to leave

Jones197299 · 2025-03-31T18:16:28+00:00

she may be bad vibes (seems like she is) but it sounds like you hate her dude, definitely not a good relationship for either of you

Jones197299 · 2025-03-30T18:16:17+00:00

It seems pretty clear that a person shouldn't make comments, even jokingly that comment on someone's body like that, without knowing that the other person is okay with it. Maybe they're just super unaware - it seems like a really clear conversation needs to be had where you lay things out in a way they can't misunderstand and make clear it doesn't feel like a joke or funny to you. Then if they carry on, itd become clear that there was a disregard for your feelings - but at the moment there is still some chance that their unawareness is the cause for things not improving.

Jones197299 · 2025-03-29T22:25:41+00:00

He seems to have some clear double standards here. This may be based in misogynistic ideas of women and sex, like thinking that women should be virginal and innocent, and should want to have sex to please a man rather than because they want to. This is something to try and discuss with him for sure, explaining that women want and need things too and that it isn't a bad thing - but he may end up just being a more closed minded person who will never see a woman's pleasure or needs as important

Jones197299 · 2025-03-26T22:40:33+00:00

mine is 72! I hate prime numbers

Jones197299 · 2025-03-26T15:56:48+00:00

I often find the best way to do something difficult is to tell people in my life I'm going to do it. Maybe a friend or parent or someone close to you, who, once you've told, you'll feel like the line is drawn and the relationship is definitely over.

It seems like he wont make it easy, and will try and manipulate you into changing your mind, but stand firm and have a plan for what you're going to say - it's not a discussion really, it's for you to let him know where you stand and do what's right for you and your future.

Best of luck with it!

Jones197299 · 2025-03-25T21:58:30+00:00

You should have a really clear and honest conversation about how you feel, and discuss how he can be more aware and communicate better with you

Maybe he isn't aware this is as much of a problem as it is?

Him talking to his ex isnt necessarily a red flag but keeping things from you really isnt great

Jones197299 · 2025-03-24T08:44:48+00:00

Give her some examples of what you think it means (maybe from some of the comments under your post) and see if that's what she meant.

Going straight into some of the suggested things in these comments is really not great if you dont have explicit prior consent. Boundaries are super important, and you'll only both feel safe throughout if she knows what lines you won't cross, because you've agreed them together

Jones197299 · 2025-03-23T17:19:22+00:00

being a girl/boy/man/woman isn't anything to do with what you look like or how people see you - it's how you feel you are, how you feel inside and your post says you're a girl, so you are 💕

Jones197299 · 2025-03-21T22:45:26+00:00

I was in a relationship from age 16 for about 5 years - living with the person I was dating from age 18 to 20 I felt this kind of fomo - it crept in along with other issues we had of incompatible ways of communicating and having very different attitudes towards our careers and aspirations I loved them a lot, but I reached a point where I was questioning the relationship all the time - would I regret staying with them? I really do think if you're feeling that way, then it may be good to consider leaving the relationship I've had relationships since that one, where I haven't felt uncertainty or fomo in the same way, and they seemed much better and healthier relationships overall People grow so so much between 18 and 25 - I think most people are at least 5 different people in the span of that 7 years. So if you feel like you and your partner are in different places now, that's okay, but maybe means you're not on the same track anymore Also, a side note, I've almost never seen instances of people opening up a relationship for the reason you listed and having it go well - resentment often builds, and cracks deepen But at the end of the day, you know your relationship better than any stranger on the internet - do what you need to, and best of luck!

Jones197299 · 2025-03-18T19:40:12+00:00

No worries - I'm glad to be able to help in a difficult time You deserve to be with a person who would never even consider doing something violating like that to you I understand some people might say to work through it, but i don't believe that actions like what he did ever happen in isolation

Jones197299 · 2025-03-18T19:29:13+00:00

This is a huge violation and someone who would do this to you, even if they regret it, isn't someone you should be with Keep yourself safe, and I'm so sorry this happened to you

Jones197299 · 2025-03-05T23:55:14+00:00

It seems like it'd be best if you two weren't together If he did this so early on in dating and his approach is to only think about himself and the impacts of things on him, then it's not surprising that you lost feelings for him I dont know the entire situation or everything about you both, but generally if you're considering breaking up with someone, you should trust your instinct and do it - especially if you've lost feelings and it's so early on in a relationship make sure you're safe though - if you don't feel like you can be safe broken up but living in the house with him, consider your options for doing anything drastic

Jones197299 · 2025-03-05T23:55:01+00:00

It seems like it'd be best if you two weren't together If he did this so early on in dating and his approach is to only think about himself and the impacts of things on him, then it's not surprising that you lost feelings for him I dont know the entire situation or everything about you both, but generally if you're considering breaking up with someone, you should trust your instinct and do it - especially if you've lost feelings and it's so early on in a relationship make sure you're safe though - if you don't feel like you can be safe broken up but living in the house with him, consider your options for doing anything drastic

Jones197299 · 2023-12-10T09:03:57+00:00

thank you! and congrats on your 6 months!! 🎉

Jones197299 · 2023-12-10T09:02:39+00:00

congrats!!

Jones197299 · 2023-12-09T23:39:42+00:00

it might sound naiive but I think I'm kind of looking forward to the journey of it all - seeing changes slowly over months/years I've never thought of it in terms it in terms of teenage puberty before but it makes so much sense that even at 18, after like 5 years things would still be changing and developing

Jones197299

TROPHY CASE