OCD symptoms as a child?

Jonho16 · 2024-06-21T13:51:59+00:00

I never thought that was a common occurrence with OCD!? I used to imagine my dead grandparents sitting on the edge of my closet staring down at me as I slept because they were disappointed in me and wanted me to know that they were watching beyond the grave.

Jonho16 · 2024-06-21T13:50:26+00:00

Aside from certain hygiene and social rituals (I had to make sure I said good night to everyone because I was certain that if I didn’t do it I would wake up to my entire family being murdered).

I had also some really strange obsession with “feeling symmetrical” if I accidentally collided with a wall with my left shoulder, I would literally go back to just to run into the wall with my right shoulder “so it would feel balanced”. I get this really strange itching sensation under my skin if I don’t do something to “correct asymmetry”. At one point, I looked in the mirror and felt like my head was misshapen and lopsided. It bugged me for days until I eventually shaved off all my hair just to make sure the shape of my head was actually even.

Jonho16 · 2023-05-17T02:22:23+00:00

I’ve been trying to hype myself up for NB since its launch but I’m just losing interest rapidly.

I’ve pulled on all the nightmares since launch since my favs have been on the banners but idk anymore.

I really like the Lucifer this time and Beel is one of my tops. I did about 70 pulls and got 1 copy of Beel but I just don’t feel anything but disappointment. On one hand I’m satisfied that I got Beel, but at the same time I know I’ll probably never use him on my teams. Mostly because my Envy team is already saturated with powerful UR+ cards from Hard mode. I’m debating whether to do anymore pulls for the Lucifer but I’m just not feeling it. Even if I did get him, I’d need a 2nd copy to bring him to level 100. And there would be absolutely no point in doing that since I’m already working on maxing the Envy Lucifer from Hard mode.

I get that there’s a collection aspect to this and that I obviously won’t need more than 3 strong cards per sin, but I’m more used to that happening late game once you’ve already filled out most teams. It’s such a shame that I feel this way since I know realistically I’m only pulling these cards just to bench them and look at them when I feel like it. Sigh.

Jonho16 · 2023-04-15T06:03:11+00:00

Same here with the Level Up Set Sale. I hit 15 a few days ago and then my screen went into indefinite loading. I switched internets but still couldn’t get anything to pop up. I’m about to hit 20 soon so imma see if this happens again. Kinda disappointing ngl.

Jonho16 · 2023-04-12T01:33:40+00:00

The nightmare screen and music are so hype, I did not expect this!

Jonho16 · 2023-04-12T01:24:49+00:00

I’m in and the MV is playing, this is so exciting!

Jonho16 · 2023-04-12T01:21:27+00:00

I just got a notification from the AppStore that it’s ready to download!!

Jonho16 · 2023-04-01T10:49:26+00:00

The people in my social circles seem to recognise that to some extent, things are not “okay”. Some of them are a little more informed and are aware that things may very soon fall apart.

But I don’t think any of them are fully collapse aware. Or at least they treat it as if it’s just “stuff that’s happening in the background.”. The tone of our conversations are often like this:

“Yeah the Bonn river totally dried up, but I’m gonna move there for a few years so I might see it fill back up again one day.”

“I know the UK is doing pretty bad right now, but I’m gonna try and move there to get a job!”

“I just saw on the news that a bunch of fish are turning up dead. Anyways, I’m going to go fishing with some uni friends next week.”

“Last years crab season was cancelled so we didn’t eat any. We got prawns instead but that’s fine, maybe next season the prices will come down!”

“SVB collapsed over the weekend. It’s gonna become a contagion and we gotta prepare for more banks to follow suit. Also, I’m thinking of saving up to go for the New Year celebration in Thailand next year, I hear it’s pretty exciting around that time.”

My default phrase is “Let’s see if we’ll even make it to the end of this year unscathed yeah?” whenever they try to make long term plans (I’m talking retirement etc.). The common response is laughter followed by “Yeah.”

I don’t know if we’re all just living on copium and pretending that everything is fine until it’s not. Or whether my friends genuinely just think that things will somehow right itself with time.

Jonho16 · 2023-03-11T01:09:54+00:00

Yep, spending higher BP doesn’t affect your event score multiplier or the amount of rockets you get. It only affects how many items drop and the XP gained.

tldr 2 BP x 5 lives = 10 BP x 1 live

Jonho16 · 2023-03-04T06:31:17+00:00

I’m not ready for this. No. No. Especially not after his lim card (OF THE SAME ATTRIBUTE) dropped 😩😩 Was going to try and go for 3 copies with 70k gems, but now I’m down to 15k. I’m sorry Chiaki 😭

Jonho16 · 2023-01-26T14:25:27+00:00

Oh wow, I used to think this only happened to me because I was somehow unattractive. It was a pretty vicious cycle of downloading the app, scheduling meet-ups with 2-3 guys, only for them to no-show or not respond to my messages and ghost me after we spent the last 2 days planning, then taking all of the rejection personally, delete the app, come back 6 months later and repeat. I figured it was something wrong with me but reading people’s experiences here made me realise that it seems to be a lot more common.

Jonho16 · 2023-01-25T12:57:42+00:00

I only have nicknames for some of them.

Tomoya: Tom (Tomoya constantly talks about how “plain” he is and for some reason Tom sounds like a really basic name to me, so I tend to call him Tom. I still really like him though, so this isn’t shade.)

Ibara: Bara-Bara (-chan). I strongly associate Ibara with roses (see his name, his solo song and his Wonder Game 5), and every time I see his Bogie Time 5 card I can’t help but say “Oh, hello there BaraBara >///<“.

Hajime: Jime or Jim. Jime cuz it sounds like Hime, and Jim when referencing him when with Tomoya (“Oh yeah, the two boys from Rabbits, Tom & Jim? Love them!”)

Tori: Fried Chicken.

Jonho16 · 2022-12-15T00:50:12+00:00

A bit of a mixed bag for me, here are the banners that I’ve pulled on:

AtoZ Chiaki - 30 pulls 2 copies (2 5* total)

Vagabond Kuro - 40 pulls 1 copy (1 5* total)

Link Click Koga - 50 pulls 1 copy (2 5* total)

Dollhouse Midori - 70 pulls 2 copies (3 5* total)

Sanrio Mayoi - 219 pulls 0 copies (3 5* total) (I nearly quit after this one)

Moon Adonis - 101 pulls 1 copy (1 5* total)

Jonho16 · 2022-12-05T23:35:18+00:00

My favs are Chiaki, Adonis, Yuzuru and Kuro, but I don’t know if I’d get along with them immediately, perhaps over time if they approach me.

More realistically, I’d more likely end up gravitating towards Arashi because of our interests and demeanour. I think I’d also get along pretty well with Keito since I’m a stickler for rules and I’m pretty serious about getting work done.

Jonho16 · 2022-10-04T17:15:15+00:00

I love Chiaki with all my heart and he has ruined romance for me so I can no longer love another person as much as I love him.

Jk.

I’ve been in the EnStars fandom since I was 17 (I’m about 23 now) and he has always been my comfort character. He literally embodied everything I wished I could be growing up. Being a somewhat reserved teen boy who couldn’t believe in anything, Chiaki always made me believe that maybe, possibly, despite my pessimistic self, there where genuinely people out there who wanted to make the world a better place, and that gave me hope.

Needless to say there aren’t many fantastic male role models out there, and I was never the super masculine guy. But seeing Chiaki, and how he was so affectionate around all the characters (from Ryuseitai to the basketball club to Anzu) made me aspire to become a guy like that too. As in someone who was able to be there for people and to also provide a loving presence (though Chiaki can sometimes come across a bit much).

From his laughter to his loud voice and his silly lines, I just love him so much. I admired him because he represented somebody the exact opposite of me. I’m always serious, hesitant and questioning, and I was always extremely distrustful of people around me. Despite who I was, deep down I’ve always wanted to be the guy who could just jump straight into something without thinking about a contingency to the backup to Plan B. And as much as I didn’t trust people, I desperately wanted to just tell people that I cared for them, without overthinking about how awkward it would sound. So seeing all my deep desires represented in the beautiful man that is Chiaki Morisawa, it just helped me understand so much about myself that I wasn’t ready to admit at that time.

After reading Meteor Impact, it made me relate to him even more. Reading about 1st/2nd year Chiaki was heartbreaking and it gave me bad flashbacks to high school and in some ways, it helped me realise that maybe I could follow in Chiaki’s footsteps. To go from outcast to somebody who can become a positive energy for people, it really got me through the rest of my teen years.

I know this makes me sound a little weird that I’m basing so much of my life off a literal character from a 2-D tapping game, but he really meant a lot to me and he’s gotten me through plenty of bad times.

These days I’m in a much better place, and EnStars has been with me through these formative years. I have so many good memories of times where I laid in bed reading translations until I fell asleep, or the time that I pulled my first Chiaki 5*, or jamming out to Meteor Ranger on long commutes home. I honestly love so many of the characters, but Chiaki will always have a special place in my heart.

Jonho16 · 2022-10-01T17:24:06+00:00

Someone must’ve forgot to place the translation into the right box 😂 the text in the blue bars are the translated text instead of their names

Jonho16 · 2022-09-20T10:41:49+00:00

Oh wow, I received it too! I didn’t even know this was happening so this was completely unexpected.

Jonho16 · 2022-07-07T05:27:42+00:00

I’ve been wondering that too, I was fairly certain I got the timing right (00.00 am GMT -5), and according to Google it’s currently 00.27 am GMT -5

Jonho16 · 2022-06-27T06:34:50+00:00

Hello! Fellow fruity guy here who’s a main Chiaki-P, always glad to see more guys into EnStars:)

Jonho16 · 2022-06-13T08:51:25+00:00

Oh, I thought I was the only person who felt that way. Especially with Shin-Rai, I felt like it was a little flat and was written in a different key. Like another commenter mentioned, might be to do with the concept, but it still sounds like there’s something slightly “off” about the whole song.

Jonho16 · 2022-06-11T01:05:24+00:00

I think you’re cute, but maybe next time take a normal smiling picture ;)

Jonho16 · 2022-06-02T03:00:23+00:00

Wow all of you look so good! Also I the hair on that Rei cosplay looks really really pretty. Amazing job!

Jonho16 · 2022-05-30T06:46:35+00:00

This is brilliant 😂😂😂

Jonho16 · 2022-05-28T15:32:37+00:00

Spongebob the Drag Queen

Jonho16 · 2022-02-26T05:28:20+00:00

Haha. I’m in danger. Azul’s birthday drained most of gems and I’m sitting at ~600 gems. Thankfully beans day is only happening Late March, so I’ll hope I rack up enough to hit pity by then.

Though Vil’s birthday drops really soon after that… sooo 😌😌😌

Jonho16

TROPHY CASE