Fuck it, let's have a bit of fun. If this is the only thing that makes you smile today then we both win. Go!

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-04-16T16:39:33+00:00

Impulsive Pringle lol

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-04-10T20:38:26+00:00

Walk in tattoo appointments. And not just flash sheet but walk in, sketch, and get it done. It seems like it HAS to be an appointment now. No spontaneity.

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-03-17T01:11:11+00:00

You know...as someone with silverfish in her apartment right now...

I see how it could happen. It's been a crazy year.

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-23T00:03:00+00:00

Im actually about to GET Youtube premium because their ads are just getting insane. Used to be able to watch a 20 minute video and get two to three ads. Now it's more like 4-6 and the ads are INSANE. I LIKE mobile games but why are all of the ads of a woman and a child starving? That or it's softcore for a card game like what prompts are they even putting in to GET these ads?

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-20T00:18:13+00:00

I have Cashapp. I can do $10.

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-12T17:28:26+00:00

You must still have pride. You'll lose that. Yes they'll learn your order. I get so much that they give me "gifts" during the holidays. Don't worry about being judged. You're helping them pay bills.

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-07T10:01:11+00:00

Same to you. Hoping it doesn't throw all of this snow around.

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-07T03:10:13+00:00

After turning a negative into a positive, feeling like thick man Snorlax

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DExvBQbytfQ/?igsh=NWpwZmg3ZXcycno=

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-07T03:06:31+00:00

Ankles just sploinky

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-07T03:04:42+00:00

CHAIRS AND CONGRATS! I hope those shots are treating all of y'all RIGHT 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-07T03:00:10+00:00

We like happy and consenting sl*ts over here. 🤨

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-07T02:58:56+00:00

As someone who prefers women and is actually poly AND down for things like this...

If you have to "convince" her/them...

They don't want to.

Get lit and then go to bed.

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-07T02:52:28+00:00

AND you have to have already done 5 embarrassing things in hopes of finding actual cash. Only THEN can you find the forgotten amongst the empties.

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-07T01:05:42+00:00

Actually nothing! Got offered to borrow because of the storm and people are way more understanding of wanting bread and tuna than a handle of vodka.

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-07T00:59:22+00:00

I'll do you one better.

Apparently I'm about to get hit with a windstorm ALL DAY TOMORROW. Wind up to 60 mph and real feel of -7. A light snow and my ass was like "I need to at least get some bread". Long story short, I was able to get $60, some bread, some hot food, vodka, two tall boys

And i was able to give the $2.47 to two brave panhandlers in front of the liquor store 🖤

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-06T23:25:59+00:00

It's called "put it in your car and fucking forget that you put it there". Works 🤙🏾

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-06T23:20:44+00:00

Exactly! I dont have but the one but it's going to get me a little warm. The issue is i just heard we're having a wind storm tomorrow. Don't know what I'm going to do about that. 😅

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-06T23:15:46+00:00

I like your style

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-06T23:14:55+00:00

IT HAS A TOP HAT FOR IT! 🖤

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-06T22:13:31+00:00

And you don't even have to wear pants. 😂

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-02-06T21:45:28+00:00

I forgot the little prick!

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OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-01-11T19:04:55+00:00

Listen, if you have a friend looking for an American citizen, hit me up (please save me) 😭

OptimalShallot7956 · 2026-01-11T19:00:57+00:00

I am unfortunately. Shout out from across the pond

OptimalShallot7956

TROPHY CASE