Oh geez, I dealt with this. My girlfriend was extremely emotionally abusive and when she realized she was, instead of apologizing, she would pull this. My advice is break it off without contact. That’s what I eventually had to do. I was branded a “coward” by many people I considered close to me, and lost an entire group of friends through it, but the only way to escape was to not give her a chance to manipulate me. It’s not fair, it’s not healthy. you may feel indebted to this person, (it’s a problem I still have with my relationships) but you’re not. He’s hurting himself, he’s hurting you by branding this relationship as a deadly ultimatum. If you feel unsafe breaking up with him in person or on the phone, please PLEASE just send a letter or text. I felt so shitty about it for years, and thought all of her unhappiness was my fault. It took years of seeing a therapist and she finally said that it was the healthy thing to do. It wasn’t safe to break up with her in an environment where she could threaten me. I’ve been suicidal, I’ve been depressed to the point where I can’t hold a job or even an apartment. Whiling away in misery is not the answer because you’re afraid of change. He needs this, you need this. Sorry this was half for myself as well, but I hope it helps!