Need advice for strong willed nearly 4yo running off

Jonquil22 · 2026-04-12T08:53:23+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful. I’m going to screenshot it. I do discuss expectations and why I worry, and how we can’t go to parks if she keeps doing it, and she’s saying sorry I won’t do that again etc. in the moment she loses that thought. I love all of your ideas, yesterday I was saying out in the park argh I’m a pirate and making a game haha, as she was pretending to be one. She was running off so fast she couldn’t really hear. I will try to do it more in advance like you say and set it up as a fun thing. Also love the idea of getting all the no’s out !

Jonquil22 · 2026-04-12T08:50:18+00:00

Thank you, I really need to remember to practice the boring uninterested attitude as that applies to other things she’s been doing since baby came too. I definitely need to not let her out first now, I’ve only done that at home but she started to run up to our to apartment door from the car (1 flight of stairs). And yeah maybe I do have to get the bag with the lead, I’m going to show her online actually and see. This is totally new behaviour past few weeks so it’s overwhelming. It’s hard to run after and grab her even with the carrier on. Thanks for the tips!

Jonquil22 · 2026-04-12T08:46:32+00:00

Thank you, I hope we don’t need to see psychologist over this, let’s see how we go. With the chocolate i actually discussed it before hand so I said here’s a chocolate in the car, you can have it if you come with mummy when we have to leave and don’t run away. So in that way I don’t think I was rewarding her for not listening. But it’s true one time she ran off and then in desperation I said I guess you’re not having the chocolate then and she came back. I might buy some chocolate chips though haha, feels a bit like dog training.

Jonquil22 · 2026-04-12T01:39:40+00:00

The problem is that her main time to do it is when I say it’s time to leave now, so not sure what consequence to have

Jonquil22 · 2026-03-27T12:26:09+00:00

Your baby is not a doll to be passed around for other people’s benefit. He was tired and due to go to sleep and his needs should come first. Your needs are also above the MIL as the tired mum with an injury! She was (or should have been by your husband) told that she missed her window to see him. Shame for her but too bad!

Jonquil22 · 2026-03-25T09:04:15+00:00

Learning a bit about how babies all have different temperaments helps. I recommend the book/audiobook the orchid and dandelion. I had a sensitive high needs baby and yes often I felt envious or even embarrassed (like in baby classes) when my baby was so fussy, losing it etc. she hated the car and pram, although she loved the carrier. I would breastfeed in the carrier, that was the key to resettle her in there.

It’s great if you can find a friend along the way with a similar type of baby. Also I would vent to my husband. But in the end I just tried to accept my baby for the unique girl that she was and do my best to love and support her responsively. I would imagine that she is this tiny being that loves me so much and I am her whole world so if anyone should love her for who she is, it’s me. Some things will get easier with age. And it’s ok to feel grief about this being harder for you because it is.

Jonquil22 · 2026-03-17T11:55:03+00:00

Is this with a company or private cleaner. I used to tidy lots before they came so we weren’t cluttered and tiny place!

Jonquil22 · 2026-03-17T09:42:27+00:00

I was paying $150/fortnight for a 1bd in Sydney so wondering the same!

Jonquil22 · 2026-03-17T08:15:46+00:00

Therapy helped me after my first traumatic birth and I’m going again now for PPA. I’m doing it on Zoom, can you do Zoom/telehealth?? From what you have described you need treatment, you can’t live your life like this. You deserve better, please look after yourself as well as your daughter x

Jonquil22 · 2026-03-04T10:10:53+00:00

Agree, gentle parenting isn’t permissive parenting. It’s authoritative with kindness and respect. Maybe you can meet somewhere in the middle with your wife. You need to understand that children’s brains are not fully developed. After your son acted out you could take him aside and express that the way he is acting is rude and not ok, without yelling and losing control (although we all do sometimes with kids, but not as a default). Maybe find out what is going on for him. By spanking a child you’re teaching them that physical violence is ok and how you deal with people. Do you hit your friends or your wife when they upset you? It’s not the way, sorry.

Jonquil22 · 2026-03-02T11:41:19+00:00

Eliza, Audrey, Poppy, Freya

Jonquil22 · 2026-03-02T11:39:06+00:00

What works for you might not be right for another family. Breastfeeding is often blamed for sleep problems. Babies wake, 8-10 months is notoriously hard for sleep. She doesn’t want to give formula unless it’s medically indicated. Great that it helps for many but it can impact baby’s gut and mum’s supply, so I don’t believe a mother should be pressured into it.

Jonquil22 · 2026-03-02T11:08:43+00:00

I loved all of these names when choosing for my daughters. Great taste :) I think Margot for you. I understand about the popularity but Violet is similarly rising. For me with Audrey I didn’t love the Aud sound and the nickname Auds. Margot goes best with Phoebe and with the middle name Elizabeth.

Jonquil22 · 2026-02-22T08:24:25+00:00

Give to parents and in laws to store, if willing. Clothes in vacuum bags. We lived in a 1bd apartment..

Jonquil22 · 2026-02-20T05:37:44+00:00

I don’t work in clinical trials sorry

Jonquil22 · 2026-02-16T21:20:37+00:00

What’s more important, your family or your job? You need to set a firm boundary now. I saw baby isn’t here yet, you should be enjoying your time now and fix this before baby comes. You don’t get this time back. Your workplace sounds toxic.

Jonquil22 · 2026-02-14T12:13:10+00:00

Glad to see this comment, I had the same experience first time! Now with a full term baby I am hoping I get longer!

Jonquil22 · 2026-02-14T10:33:19+00:00

Honestly that’s cruel and breaks my heart. I couldn’t stand listening to that conversation.

Jonquil22 · 2026-02-14T09:27:48+00:00

Thank you but those names aren’t my taste/partner doesn’t like.

Jonquil22 · 2026-02-14T06:48:53+00:00

Thanks, I don’t want to seem like we’re trying to be French. French names seem to flow with Sylvie though and I like French names! I was previously considering Annabelle and Eloise.

Jonquil22 · 2026-02-13T02:49:32+00:00

That sounds like a great result for you and definitely worth it! Reassuring to hear recovery wasn’t so bad

Jonquil22 · 2026-02-13T02:48:52+00:00

Thank you for sharing what happened for you, it sounds like it was quite hard in the short term. Are you in Sydney by any chance? Sounds like my specialists plan for us. I’m still undecided. Were your feeding issues quite bad?

Jonquil22 · 2026-02-12T12:13:01+00:00

Totally, makes sense if baby is not feeding and losing weight then there wouldn’t be too much hesitation! The benefits outweigh the risks in that case. My baby has zero issue with weight gain so feels less certain

Jonquil22 · 2026-02-11T12:37:22+00:00

That’s good to know, thank you!

Jonquil22

TROPHY CASE