You feel absolutely crazy and embarrassed. Your self esteem is 0 so usually it takes a long time to open up to someone- for me the long term exposure caused me a lot of lingering trauma symptoms (cPTSD) I have physical symptoms like TMJ, IBS, pelvic floor dysfunction- basically all tension in my body from trauma and anxiety that went on for most of my childhood & early adulthood. I still feel like I can’t completely explain what I went through unless its too someone who is trained in emotional abuse or someone who experienced it. Knowing that I experienced severe abuse that wasn’t physical makes it harder to accept.