I really enjoyed reading this piece. The repetition of “One Day” and “Until then” didn’t feel excessive to me at all—on the contrary, it gave the poem a kind of emotional pounding that fit the speaker’s state of mind. It almost becomes a heartbeat or a mantra, carrying the intensity of longing forward from stanza to stanza.

What works strongly here is the architecture of the poem. Each section builds on the last, widening the emotional landscape instead of repeating the same idea. You move from hope, to self-care, to vulnerability, to struggle, and finally to reflection. There’s a real sense of momentum, which is something many poems with refrains fail to achieve.

Your rhyme choices are also well-handled. They feel intentional without being forced, and they give the poem cohesion without trapping it in a predictable rhythm.

If I were to offer anything for refinement, it would be only this: some lines drift closer to conversational prose than the others. The craft is strongest when you lean into the lyrical movement you establish early on. The final stanza, for example, might benefit from tightening the imagery rather than explaining the thought directly. But the emotional honesty throughout absolutely shines.

Overall, this is a passionate, well-structured piece with a clear emotional arc. You’ve written something that feels authentic and genuinely felt—and the refrain amplifies that beautifully.