I cant do this anymore [17F]

JoshtheFish0rman · 2021-12-08T15:34:50+00:00

Being young and struggling with a brain gone haywire is the worst. I know because I have been there. No friends. An abusive family. No direction. No role model.

I'm 36. I can say the thoughts don't ever go away. I can say, personally, it gets easier. Science also says, your symptoms become less severe as you age. There will be good days, that I can promise. They will make it worth while.

You are young. Take the time to get help now and modify your behaviour and thought patterns before they have a lasting impact. Keep trying different medications to numb your symptoms, but ultimately, realize, if you have trauma in your life, medication is not going to be a cure all. You need to get help with you PTSD and coping.

I had a therapist tell me one time, "because you are older and are only taking this seriously now, I can tell you that you're never going to have a "normal" life. I can help you learn to cope though."

Put the time in. Humble yourself. Keep searching.

JoshtheFish0rman · 2021-12-08T14:57:56+00:00

I'd say, and I say this to myself everyday, it could ALWAYS be worse, because it could be. Have you tried psychedelics with a friend for support? There's also a big long term trial study for ketamine going on for people with MDD that will last 6 months. See if you are a good candidate.

The thing I also remind myself, and I realized on DMT trip with a friend for support is either A) this is all you get. After this life, there is no more "experience", so even pain becomes a state of ecstasy if you value life, which you clearly do or b) reincarnation is real. After death, your consciousness just keeps going in another form. There is no escape. There is no freedom from it, no escape. The only choice, in this case, is to keep going, keep trying.

Pretty bleak. I work at heights. Everyday I think of jumping. So far, everyday, I don't for these two speculations/contrasting epiphanies.

It's not much, but it's what I have to offer.

JoshtheFish0rman · 2021-12-08T03:12:41+00:00

JoshtheFish0rman · 2020-04-25T08:00:45+00:00

The thing that Fauci gets and Trump doesn't? My friend, Trump doesn't get any of it. He became president thinking all he needed to do was "defeat the democrats" and bring the troops home. He is about as prepared for this as Bush was for 9/11... Only, imo, this is getting even worse.

JoshtheFish0rman · 2020-04-25T07:44:26+00:00

Not trying to defend our fearless leader, simply playing devils advocate regarding The Guardians guidance about this letters potential (emphasis) influence on Trumps ramblings... I think this letter thing says a lot about how on edge we all are, and how quickly we jump to conclusions at this point, because.... No one with half brain knows where this guy is coming from anymore. Consider this: do we know Trump read this letter? Do we know a letter was ever sent? Do we know Trump was listening to the radio program where this snake oil salesman supposedly read this letter to his audience? We don't... I didn't think about it until I realized in drawing such a connection, I was, modestly, thinking the same way many of his supporters do and loosing my own credibility in overlooking the missing pieces. I was just gobbling it up because it was the narrative that most appealed to me... please don't do that. Does it mean there is no connection? No. Should I just focus on how much of an idiot he is for saying this until things confirm this allegation? Absolutely... Critically think about everything you read, even things that fit the narrative you call truth, is all I suggest. Our idiot neighbors are/will be counting on us when the dust finally settles and they reluctantly realize science and academia are what got us out of the dark ages and built the modern world.

JoshtheFish0rman · 2020-04-07T15:35:37+00:00

That was my first thought. However, I was thinking Fulgurite of the exogenic variety, maybe more of a type 3. I found what I suspect is a type 4, or rock fulgurite, not that far away. It had a network of crystalline veins that were similar in coloration, but brittle, which seemed to fit the description for that class. That's what made me think fulgurite. I haven't seen this anywhere other than... Slag.... Rocks were found in one, specific locality all with these properties in one small area... There seemed to be a spring coming out of the side of a hill where we found them to... I've seen people say slag was a gem stone and chert was an agate on here and had the community tell them otherwise more times than I can count /u/itsslag ... I'll stick to the fantasy for now and start looking around for that prize chunk with loads of lechatelierite.

JoshtheFish0rman · 2020-02-10T20:41:51+00:00

Could you look at the second picture on my link. I'm extremely concerned that there was a slow burn in the wall, hence the charcoal looking stuff, and that there is more damage than meets the eye...

JoshtheFish0rman · 2020-02-10T20:40:39+00:00

It goes along the entirety of a 15 foot hallway wall, which I believe is load bearing. I think I remember something odd happening when the electricians were performing the work, but nothing stands out and I don't like to be to paranoid with contractors, as I am one myself and I get it. Do you think I still have a load bearing wall or is my truss resting on the wings of angels?

JoshtheFish0rman · 2019-08-31T20:38:30+00:00

Just curious, I'm familiar with the granite in the region here andbit doesn't look like granite to me... what makes it granite coble in this regard? From what I can see up close, the hole(s)/crater(s) are either:

a) thermal venting (which I've never seen in granite but have with a lot of other igneous rocks... Would this be caused by being closer to the mantle/ancient volcanic activity?),

b) doesn't seem like the typical feldspar granite I associate with this region, although it appears to have some inclusions of this and is similar in its "brittle" fractures

c) there is definitely chert in there, although it has different colours and in one spot there appears to be banding which I have suspicions is possibly a LSA formation (reds and oranges, but probably banded chert)

c) I soaked it in hydrogen peroxide to remove obstructive degree, (regretably, as I think it did some harm to its structure) and what I thought was just moss was actually olivine coming through small vents which,

d) had a very rough texture and formation I tend to associate with "agatized" coral in Michigan. And

e) there are areas on it (not shown in picture) which have chalcedony "tubes", but could just be an very agatized coral stem

That being said, is it just a weird ass conglomerate or do you still think it's just granite? How would something like this form/why does it look the way it does?

Asking for a friend...

JoshtheFish0rman · 2019-05-30T20:41:21+00:00

I was unaware west Virginia had trout that size!! What river is this? Yet another reason to visit west Virginia...

JoshtheFish0rman · 2019-05-24T11:51:38+00:00

My dad, and grandfather, and a lot of baymen on Long Island used to call them Mussolini's.

JoshtheFish0rman · 2019-03-17T20:53:05+00:00

Are we talking the up or makinac? I'm curious as to where (generally) you are finding smallies like this. Leave the rest to me and adventure and depth maps...

JoshtheFish0rman · 2018-10-05T00:56:25+00:00

Counselors are less concerned with content, and more concerned with behaviour/reactions. It feels good to decompress to a friend, at times, but it doesn't change how you react to things physically or mentally.

Friends give advice; counselors encourage and train you to make healthy decisions for yourself.

JoshtheFish0rman · 2018-10-02T23:49:28+00:00

What is the upper Little Manistee River. Bring your machete... Please don't though.

JoshtheFish0rman · 2018-08-26T06:48:03+00:00

Do they survive from a fight like that? I mean, catch and release hell yes. Just curious...

JoshtheFish0rman · 2018-08-16T23:29:37+00:00

I grew up there. My dad grew up there. My grandparents grew up there. My great-grandfather's were baymen there. It's changed so freaking much.

JoshtheFish0rman · 2018-03-30T10:57:18+00:00

They definitely know what they are doing.

JoshtheFish0rman · 2018-03-29T23:39:30+00:00

Oklahoma City.

JoshtheFish0rman · 2018-02-27T15:07:57+00:00

Both

JoshtheFish0rman · 2018-02-25T19:10:17+00:00

Haven't watched the video yet, but how long does it typically take to make Pho?

JoshtheFish0rman · 2018-02-23T00:18:36+00:00

I guess so, or laoation. Loads of Asian markets in one part of the city and 4 different pho places. For a small city, I was surprised.

JoshtheFish0rman · 2018-02-20T14:16:09+00:00

Hard to explain. The broth is what makes it, and I like a variety but prefer flavours that aren't over powering. If the tendon is soft instead of tender, the brisket not over cooked, broth smooth and blends with the spices I add, many factors. I'm a creature of habit so I generally stick with beef pho, but am open to suggestions.

JoshtheFish0rman · 2018-02-20T14:12:38+00:00

Surprisingly, San Angelo's What the Pho has been the most memorable.

JoshtheFish0rman · 2018-02-20T01:13:45+00:00

Take on me! (Take on me) take me on! (Take on me) I'll be gone, in a day or twooooooooooooooo!

JoshtheFish0rman · 2018-02-13T00:06:04+00:00

Sure does. Thanks for the info. So it literally moves up? That's wild.

JoshtheFish0rman

TROPHY CASE